Buttcrack Betty
By Nikki Palmer
Copyright 2011 by Nikki Palmer
Smashwords Edition
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Betty was a beautiful young Texas girl with a love for one type of man and one type of man only. Only plumbers did it for Betty. She worked in a plumbing supply store to troll for new men. One day Steve walked into the store, and Betty's dreams seemed to come to life. Would Steve be the plumber Betty had spent her whole life waiting for?
All characters in this work of fiction are 18 years of age or older. This book is intended for mature readers, only.
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Betty looked up when she heard the buzzer on the door. It had been a slow day at the store, and she was thrilled to have something to do. She fully expected to see a familiar face, but what greeted her was something new entirely. About six feet of something new.
She was sure he was a plumber. All of the customers of the plumbing supply store she worked for were, and she loved her some plumbers. Betty had applied for this job for two years until there’d been an opening. The owners had thought she was insane. It wasn’t lucrative work. There weren’t great benefits. For Betty, though, there was the best benefit in the world. This was the best place to fish for a new relationship or even for a husband. And Betty was between boyfriends.
She walked out from behind the counter, swaying her hips as she walked. “Well, hi there,” she said with her best smile. “How can I help you?” She let her eyes travel up and down his body, lingering at his crotch in an obvious sort of way. Men loved that.
He swallowed hard. “Umm…I just need to pick up a few things for my boss.”
Betty smiled and nodded. “Who’s your boss? I know all the plumbers in the area.” Betty had brought a lot of business to the store owner and they worked her as many hours as they could. She was the best advertising money could buy, and she worked for minimum wage, and the occasional stolen kiss in the back room from the plumber of her choice.
He turned and looked out at the truck where she could see Jack in the passenger seat. Ahhh. That explained it.
“You workin’ for Drippy Drains? Tom sent Jack to get supplies, and Jack told you to come in. Don’t tell me? He said, ‘The first time you meet Buttcrack Betty, you have to meet her alone. Trust me, kid.’” Betty imitated Jack’s voice perfectly, from the holier than thou attitude, all the way down to the lazy Texas drawl.
His eyes widened and he nodded.
Betty grinned wide. She took his hand and led him to the backroom. “We’ll just stay back here for a minute and let ole Jack eat his heart out.” She stuck her hand out to shake his. “Hi, I’m Betty. Everyone just calls me Buttcrack Betty.”
He took her hand with a bemused look on his face. “I’m Steve.”
“It’s really nice to meet you Steve.”
He did his best to not stare at Betty’s generous tits overflowing from the top of her tight low-cut t-shirt. “Can I ask you something, Betty?”
“Anything, Steve.” Betty gave Steve her sweetest smile. She’d already decided that he was going to be her next boyfriend. He had all of the requirements. He was cute, and he was a plumber. What more could a girl ask for in a man? Of course, he might be taken, and Betty didn’t poach, but she didn’t think so. She tended to have single plumber radar, and this man? He was a singe plumber.
“Why do they call you Buttcrack Betty?”
Betty turned around and bent over a little, bracing herself on a box. Her tight skirt was unfastened in the back, revealing a large expanse of, well, buttcrack. She gave him a minute to feast his eyes, and then turned back around to smile up at him.
“You see, Steve, I really like plumbers. I think they’re the sexiest men in the whole world. I’ve heard so many girls make fun of the way they always end up showing their buttcracks while they work, though, so I’ve made it my mission in life to support plumbers by making sure that my buttcrack is always showing, too.”
Steve stood blinking down at her, trying to get the tantalizing vision of that little slice of ass he’d seen out of his mind. Finally, he said the first words that came to his mind. “That’s a mighty fine buttcrack you have there, Betty.”
She laughed softly. “The rest of my ass is pretty nice, too, Steve. I’d love to show it to ya. Do ya’ll have plans for the evening?”
Steve had plenty of girls turn him down for dates as soon as they heard he was a plumber. Most girls weren’t looking for a blue collar man. They wanted a doctor or a lawyer or someone. He looked at her again. She was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. She had flowing red hair, green eyes, and the tiniest waist he’d ever seen. Buttcrack Betty was his dream girl. Had she really just asked him if she could show him her ass tonight? Holy fuck.
“I don’t. I’d love to take you out for pizza. Maybe dancing afterwards. How would that be?”
Betty smiled. “I have a better idea, big boy. Just bring that pizza to my place. We’ll dance in my living room. That way, we can dance naked if we want to.”
“Are you for real? I mean, did Tom call ahead and tell you to ask me over so that you could give me a fake address or something?”
Betty laughed softly. She reached up and curled her hand around the back of his neck, pulling his head down to hers. Pressing her lips to his, she kissed him passionately, her tongue sliding into his mouth automatically and dancing around his. “Does this feel real to you?”
“Hey, Steve! We need to get those supplies and get a move on!” Jack’s voice was a bellow from the store.
“I’ll write my address down for you before you go,” Betty whispered into his ear. “And make sure you tell Jack you’re spending the night at my place.” She winked at him as she walked back out into the store.
Steve followed more slowly and caught Jack’s knowing look. “Hiya, Jack,” Betty said evenly.
“Hi, Buttcrack Betty. So what do you think of our new apprentice plumber?” Jack leered at Betty. He had always been one of the few that Betty had never come on to. He’d never liked her as a result.
She smiled sweetly. “I like. Thanks for sending him my way, Jack. I’m surprised you’d do something so nice for someone else.”
Jack’s jaw dropped. Betty was all sugar and spice to every plumber but him. Why did she dislike him so much? “Why don’t you like me, Betty?”
“Why don’t I like you? Maybe because you put it around town that I’d sleep with any man that couldn’t keep his pants pulled up, and every teenager in town came in here with those ghetto pants on thinking that he could get into mine? Maybe because you’re so self-absorbed that you make me want to puke? Why don’t you go wait in the car, Jack. I’ll help Steve find the stuff he needs.”
Jack sighed. He knew he’d been a jerk. Buttcrack Betty was awfully friendly to the plumbers, but only one plumber at a time. She hadn’t deserved the things he’d said. He’d been jealous, wanting Betty for himself, and he’d shown it by being vindictive. Of course, he was married with two kids, and Betty didn’t poach. Everyone knew that Betty respected other women’s property.
“I’m sorry, Betty.”
“Go away, Jack.”
Betty stepped behind the counter as Steve stepped up with an armful of stuff. She didn’t look up as the door chimed to indicate that Jack had left. She rang Steve up efficiently and quickly scribbled her address on a piece of paper. “What time do you think you’ll be by?”
Steve flushed. “Would six be okay? I get off at four and that would give me time to shower and pick up a pizza on the way.”
“Six would be great. I looked forward to seeing you tonight, Steve. And hey? Don’t believe anything Jack says. He’s a liar.”
She boosted herself up on the counter and kissed his cheek as he picked up his plastic bags full of plumbing supplies. Sure, maybe a plumbing supply store wasn’t everyone’s idea of a great place to meet men, but for Buttcrack Betty? It was shear heaven.
She thought about Steve all day. Contrary to popular belief, thanks to Jack and his stories, Betty did not fuck every plumber in town. There had been a handful, yes, but they were typically all within the confines of a relationship. And she expected Steve to be her next long-term relationship. Steve was one hot hunk of man-flesh, and she wanted to spend some serious time with him. And judging by the bulge she’d seen in Steve’s jeans after their kiss? Steve was feeling the same way about her.
When she got home from work, she prepared for her date as usual. She took a quick shower, and shaved all over. She put on a nice white skirt that buttoned in the back. It was her signature date-wear. A white skirt, opened in the back, and nothing else. Her tits were large and perky, and she knew that they were just as good as her ass. Steve’s eyes were going to pop when he got there.