ANTICIPATION
By: Savi Smith
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2011 Savi Smith
For more titles by Savi Smith visit:
http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/savismith
Or her blog at: http://www.fictionwritersblog.com
WARNING: This book is not transferable. It is for your own personal use. If it is sold, shared, or given away, it is an infringement of the copyright of this work and violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
No portion of this book may be transmitted or reproduced in any form, or by any means, without permission in writing from the publisher, with the exception of brief excerpts used for the purposes of review.
This book is for ADULT AUDIENCES ONLY. It contains substantial sexually explicit scenes and graphic language which may be considered offensive by some readers. Please store your files where they cannot be accessed by minors.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are solely the product of the author’s imagination and/or are used fictitiously, though reference may be made to actual historical events or existing locations. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Published in the United States of America.
For my Angel
For my Muse
For my Fans
For You
Chapter 1
Monday, September 13
Jayd Clarke stands upright and watches the basketball player sauntering through the door. She mutters to no one in particular, "Damn."
Lissa's head jerks up, "What?"
The girl points with her chin, "Who's that?"
Glancing over her shoulder, Lissa doesn't recognize the girl right off, "I honestly don't know right off the top of my head." Facing Jayd again, "But I can tell you that she's too old for you. She's probably eighteen and you're sixteen." She stops the girl before she can protest, "I know it's only two years, but to a college kid, that's a decade or more. Don't get your heart set on getting that close to a chick on this team."
The teenager huffs and her gaze falls to the floor, "I just wanted to know her name."
Lissa makes note of the player's height and physical features. At least six feet tall, she has long brown hair, a swagger as noticeable as her broad smile, toned and tanned arms, and strong legs. She wears her baseball cap backwards, a tank top over a sports bra, and basketball shorts. I bet she's got some socks and shoes in that bag because she won't be playing in those sandals. By process of elimination, she conjures a name, "I think that's Julie Whitney, the new point guard. She's a freshman from Texas."
"Isn't she too tall to be a point guard?"
"No." Since Jayd took this internship to learn, Lissa feels she should teach whatever and whenever she can, "Yes, typically point guards are shorter than that. But really, it all depends on their ability to lead a team and to see what's happening on the floor. Being able to read people is more important than a player's height." Water begins dripping on Lissa's shoes, but she laughs when she gasps, "Jayd! Come on, pay attention!"
"Oh God, I'm sorry Coach!"
The assistant watches for a moment as the team assembles on the bleachers, noticing how individual they are. From their height to their race, they are a conglomeration of backgrounds, abilities, strengths, and weaknesses. But she knows they're different in other ways. Their thoughts, feelings, dreams, and contributions are just as varied as their hair styles, clothing choices, and voices. But there is one thing every player is here for: to win. The illusive NCAA championship is their common goal, their joint task. And as she analyzes faces and bodies on the bleachers, she's certain that if anyone in the country has a chance at a ring this year, it's the team she's been given the privilege to help coach.
She turns back to Jayd, "Alright, we need to put out the towels and fill the water bottles. When they throw them down, and they will throw them down, they won't hand them back to you; you pick them up and just drape them over the chair. Most of them will say 'Please' and 'Thank you', but don't be surprised if they don't… especially during games. But remember what I told you? This is a thankless job and there aren't a lot of perks. And I know you love women's basketball just as much as I do, and I know you're going to love being a part of the team. I just hope you remember that there are no small roles on this team, only small players. And let me tell you, I appreciate you, I swear I do." She recognizes the instant look of fear because it mirrors her own, "I know you're nervous, this being your first day and all, but you'll be fine."
Someone interrupts by calling her name. She waves a hand at Coach Allen before turning back to Jayd, "Alright, I'm up." She smiles and gently touches Jayd's arm, "I'll introduce you to the players individually later. I have to learn them all first!"
Jayd nods with a nervous smile, "No problem. Good luck!"
She mumbles to herself as she walks away, "Luck has nothing to do with it!"
Lissa Norman is in her first year as assistant coach of the Whalen University Women's Basketball team. At the age of twenty-seven, she knows she's blessed to have this opportunity. She paid her dues by working as a program coordinator for her alma mater, Carmen High School, in Alabama. Then she spent another three years in Tennessee. She's come a long way, but knows that you never stop learning. That's why she's looking forward to learning everything Coach Allen has to teach her.
Whalen University has been to the Division 1 NCAA Tournament eight years in a row under Coach Taylor Allen's direction. He's been with the school for nine years and feels that this is the best team he's had since he took over the job. They've just never been able to get to the Final Four. As Lissa approaches the team on the bench, she hopes that this year is different.
Coach Allen puts his hand on the woman's shoulder, "This is Lissa Norman, ladies. Very few of you were able to meet her before today. She's our newest assistant coach and she's here to foster team unity and all of the girly, touchy-feely things I know nothing about." Ignoring the chuckles he smiles at Lissa, "She's a great person to know and I'm as delighted as I can be that she agreed to work with me. I think she's crazy, but I'm glad. Now, she's going to go through a few things with you and then we'll get started on the hard part!"
The team groans and Lissa allows them to wallow a few moments in exaggerated dread before addressing them, "Well first of all, let me just say that I'm thrilled to be here and to have the chance to work with each of you. I think it's going to be a great season and I'm looking forward to it. I'm here to make sure everything runs smoothly for you and please don't hesitate to come to me if you need something."
She opens her notebook and checks the roster, "Alright, because I didn't get to meet all of you before today, I'd like to run down the roster and put a face to these names I've been staring at, okay?"
Thank goodness they're being cooperative. I've been typing and retyping this list for months! Now I get faces, too! Putting a face with the name is the best way for her to learn. For her, they're not just basketball players. They're not just college students. They're young women who have no clue what they're doing. And although she doesn't think she's qualified to do so, she's the one they're supposed to come to when they need help figuring out life. Starting at the top of the roster, she calls out the first name, “Gayle Andrews?”
Gayle raises her hand, “That’s me.”
Lissa looks up and smiles, “Hello, Gayle. It’s nice to meet you.”
“You too,” the girl beams.
She reads the names off one by one: Cindy Atkins, Jackie Baits, Beth Eddy, Mandy Halpen, Jenny Moers, Stephanie Moody, Laura Moran, Linda Nyers, Gretchen Paine, Tammy Sherman, and Jana Temple.
Finally she recognizes a name off the list, "Well look at this! Dana Tess! You're a freshman just out of Nelson High School."
"How did you know?" The girl acts surprised and giggles.
"Oh, I don't know," she plays along, "I'm sure it's not because I coached you for three years."
"Nah," Dana waves her hand, "You're probably just psychic." She laughs with the other girls and that brings Lissa to the last name on the roster.
"Julie Whitney?"
Julie stands abruptly on the bottom bleacher and salutes, "Julie Whitney, six foot-one freshman guard from Planco, Texas, reporting for duty, ma'am."
I knew it was her. She's so commanding with that tall, lanky frame. But she's got muscles, too. When the older woman looks up, she notices that the girl's at least a half a foot taller than her own 5'7" frame. But her breath catches when she looks into Julie's eyes. Oh hell, she's got blue eyes. The kind of blue you see on postcards. Lissa blinks several times to jump start her frozen brain, "Do people call you Julie, Jules, or something else?"
"They call me Whit, usually." Her eyes twinkle and there's a slight tremor in her eyebrows when she murmurs, "But you can call me whatever you want." Like baby, honey, sweetheart, fuck buddy..ya know...pick one.
"Is that a privilege you give everyone or just me?" She smiles and the girl just winks back. She's going to be a handful. "Thank you for being so enthusiastic, Whit. I appreciate that in a player."
Julie relaxes and sits back down. Ah...she thinks she can outwit me. We'll see. She looks at Lissa's hand and notices there is no ring, "So when do we get to find out about you?"
Having been caught off guard, she stutters, "Um, I...what do you want to know?"
Julie looks up at challengingly, "You know… the basics. For instance, are you married?"
She grins, "No."
"Got a boyfriend?"
"No," she replies, clutching the roster to her chest.
Julie nods, "Alright, good."
"And you?"
Julie's eyes widen, "Me? What about me?"
"Are you married or have a boyfriend?" And we have squirming, ladies and gentlemen.
"Uh, no, ma'am, I don't have a husband or a boyfriend."
Jackie Baits, obviously Julie's new best buddy, elbows her in the side, "And why not, Whit?"
Julie gives Jackie dagger eyes, wrapped in a smile. I'm going to kill you. A voice comes from behind the two girls, "Coach, she's not exactly dating material." Jenny Moers, a sophomore from a local high school, shoots the evil eye at the back of Julie's head.
When Lissa looks back into those blue eyes, there's anger simmering there. Searching for a way to diffuse the tension, the coach smiles at Jenny, "Well, I don't think that's true." She looks over Julie's body appreciatively, "She looks plenty healthy and fine to me. Any guy should be honored to have her on his arm. And I'm not dating material, either. I'm forever material. Not really the love 'em and leave 'em type."
Jenny scoffs, "Well, Whit has no problem just up and leaving people. See, I think Whit's--"
I will tear your fucking head off! Julie whirls around on the bleachers and growls, the venom in her voice tangible to everyone within earshot, "Just leave me alone, Jenny. No one gives a damn what you think, least of all me."
"Whoa," Lissa puts her hands up, halting further comments. "You all have been together most of the summer, so you've got a head start on knowing each other and I'm the clueless one here. Apparently there's something going on here that I'm not clued in on. So why don't we just drop this for now, hmm?"
The rest of the team nods as Julie turns to face forward again, resting her elbows on her knees and not looking up. Lissa hands out a packet of information to each girl, leaving Julie for last. When she holds the packet out to Julie, she doesn't let go when the girl tries to take it. Julie looks up at her questioningly. She winks at her and Julie smiles a quick smile back, "You'll have plenty of time to get to know more than you'll ever want to know about me. But Coach Allen didn't give me a whole lot of time with you today, so let's continue, shall we? This is a packet of information. It's short, sweet, and to some people, it's funny. I want you to take it and read it. You'll notice that there seems to be a lot of rules in here. That's intentional. Every rule in here is a rule of mine. These are not necessarily the rules of the school, the staff, or the university. These are my rules. I'm like the den mother and yes, these are rules you must abide by if you plan on staying on this team."
As the girls flip quickly through the pages, they begin to whisper. The woman ignores them for the moment, "You'll find curfew rules, clothing rules, eating and sleeping rules, and all kinds of other things." The mumbling is now a full-fledged conversation and Lissa turns, "Is there something wrong, Steph?"
Stephanie blushes, "Well, um, I haven't really had time to look at it, but it seems you left one very important rule out."
"I did?"
"Yeah," Mandy pipes up, "you don't have a rule about lesbians."
Lissa stops flipping in her copy, "What are you talking about?"
Having memorized the terminology well, Gayle speaks, "There will be no homosexual activity of any kind between members of the team."
She doesn't hide her shock, "That's a rule?"
Mandy nods, "It used to be. It wasn't a university rule, either, but Coach P adopted that philosophy. You left it out."
This ain't Penn State. "I didn't leave it out. And in case you haven't noticed, I'm not Coach P." Her jaw clenches through the smile, "I have a policy that I adhere to very strictly: If it affects your play, it's out. Until then, it's your life. So until your... uh... 'homosexual activity' affects your playing on this team, I don't care where or who or how much. If you're old enough to do it, you're old enough to choose who to do it with. I just ask you to act responsibly and be safe, no matter what gender you prefer to date. That's all I expect from you, but I won't take anything less. And if someone has a problem with lesbians, they need to come to me and we'll find a university who will accept their transfer request. Understood?"
Mandy points at Lissa with a huge grin on her face, "You rock!"
The rest of the team voices their appreciation as well and Lissa revels in it for only a moment, "Indeed, I do." She smiles a big smile, "Thank you. I'm sure this topic will come up again, and we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I want to make it clear that if any of you need to talk to me about anything, I'm here for you." This is the part of the speech she rehearsed a thousand times, "I'm your best friend when your world's falling apart and you just got dumped. I'm your mom when you're sick and need someone to rub Vick's on your nose. I'm your sister when you need someone to gossip with. And I'm your grandma when you need advice. I'm here for you, each and every one of you. Every week we're going to have a date, and we're the only ones invited. We might go for pizza, eat at my place, go to a movie, or we might have a night where we all go to the library and you study for finals. But I expect every single one of you to be there."
Jana's hand shoots up, "Uh, where do you live?"
"On the back page of your packet is my contact information. You've got every phone number I have, my home address, my office address, and my email. There is no excuse for not getting in touch with me, okay?"
Mandy gasps, "Oh man, you live in a swanky neighborhood!"
"I do?" Having moved to town a mere four weeks ago, she's unaware of the "good" and "bad" sections of town.
"Yeah, those apartments are the best. Do you have a city view?"
"No, actually, I face the ocean." She was willing to pay the extra money per month for a view of the ocean. What could be better for morning yoga? Or, in her case, for when you're scrambling to find a clean polo shirt for work.
Mandy ribs her a little, "So that means that when we need a place to party, your door is always open, right?"
"Only if you get lucky and I give you a key," she says sweetly.
"And what could we do to earn a key?" Julie, having been silent for too long, asks with a wry smile.
To her credit, she tenses only slightly, "Hmm, you just do everything I tell you to and we'll work on the reward system later, okay, Whit?"
Oohh, man! She's quick! Julie nods, smiling, and looks back down at the packet in her hands, "Bring it on, coach."
Lissa doesn't miss that remark; she just chooses to ignore it for now. With a clap of her hands, she dismisses them, "All right, you're free. Julie, can I see you a second, though?"
Jackie grabs her gym bag to leave. She pats Julie on the head, "It's alright, frosh, I'm sure she'll be gentle." She grins when she adds, "Unless, of course, you like it rough." She winks at her new best friend and trots away.
Julie shoots the girl a nasty look as she stands to address the coach, "Yes, ma'am?"
Lowering her voice and stepping up to the girl, she offers her ear, "I just want to tell you that if you need anything, don't think twice about coming to me." She throws a look over her shoulder at Jenny, "I don't know what that's all about, but if it gets to be too much, tell me, okay?"
Julie gives her a lop-sided grin, "I can handle her, coach." She leans down, her face only a couple of inches from Lissa's, "But if it makes you feel better, I agree to come to you if she needs punishment other than the cold shoulder or her ass kicked." She winks and adds, "But thanks for the concern, and, of course, for the other."
Confused, she asks, "For what other?"
"For letting us make our own choices and treating us like adults instead of super-tall children." She begins walking away, brushing her shoulder against Lissa as she passes. Then she stops and turns around to add, "And Coach?"
Smirking, Lissa turns, "Yeah?"
"If you're a forever type, is that what you're looking for, another forever type?"
"Yeah. That would be ideal." Testing the girl's bravado she asks, "Got anyone in mind you'd like to hook me up with?"
Hell yeah I got someone in mind. But I'm gonna take my time with you. Julie raises an eyebrow and slowly begins to back away, "I'll keep my eyes open for ya." She turns and struts to the bench.
Oh lord, I'm gonna have my work cut out for me with that one. Lissa shakes her head and mumbles to herself, "Those blue eyes are going to kill me."
Chapter 2
Friday, September 17
Jana closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath, "Oh God, I could get used to this."
Jackie props her legs up on the balcony railing, slides down in her chair, and lays her head back, "Me too. Coach Norman is one lucky woman, huh?"
Jana turns to lean against the railing facing Jackie, "Yeah, she sure is." Her face lights up a little as she watches through the sliding glass door of Lissa's apartment, "Don't look now, but Mandy just let Julie in."
Jackie doesn't move, "I can't believe I beat her. Hell, I thought she'd be the first one at the door!"
Dana giggles from her spot on the lounger, "Don't tell her, but I saw her make at least twenty trips around the parking lot!"
The girls share a laugh, but stop abruptly when Julie's face pokes around the edge of the sliding glass door, "What's up, y'all?" She greets each girl with a nod, "Wow," she breathes, "look at that view!"
Jackie smirks and closes her eyes, "You like that view? You should see coach."
Though her interest is piqued she tries to act casual, "Why?" Oh God, please don't let her be wearing a bikini.
"Whew, damn, Whit." Jana fans her face dramatically, "She's in a tank top and denim cut-offs. Can you say 'legs for miles'?"
Without thinking, Julie puts a hand over her chest, "Really? She's not wearing one of those stuffy polo shirts?"
Jackie shakes her head, "Nope. She doesn't even have makeup on."
"And her hair is in a ponytail," Dana chimes in. "She's really very pretty when she's not playing the role of coach. You should see her all dressed up."
"You mean she's pretty hot!" Jackie laughs.
Julie smiles at Jackie's joke and stares out at the ocean view, "I don't know if the woman could look any other way."
Smiling, Jackie speaks up after a moment of silence, "Me either, Whit." They let the conversation drop, allowing Julie time to slow her pulse and prepare for the night ahead.
Moments pass before Lissa pokes her head through the door, "Come on, ladies, let's gather in here and get this thing off the ground." Julie spins around and faces the woman, causing Lissa to smile in return, "Hi, Whit! It's about time you got here!"
Jackie whispers to Julie, "See? I told you she's hot."
Julie raises her eyebrows, "Yeah, she is."
Leaning closer, "You should go after her. I can tell you want her."
Julie tries to fake surprise, "What?" She shakes her head and turns away, "You're crazy."
Jackie smirks, "Right. That must be it. Clearly I'm completely unbalanced." She rolls her eyes and drops the topic.
Once everyone is seated around her living room, Lissa takes her place before them, "Welcome to my humble little home." She looks around the sparsely decorated apartment, "I know it's not much, but it's mine. At least it is for this month! This is not going to be a formal thing. We're not even going to talk about basketball while we're here… not in detail, at least. This is just a night to hang out, laugh, talk, play around, listen to some music, and breathe. No pressure, no coaches… well, at least, no coaching. We're just a bunch of chicks chillin'. So ask questions, open up, don't be shy, and please, please, I beg of you, eat all the chocolate before I get my hands on it! Now," she takes a seat on the floor and notices that Julie's feet are mere inches from her own, "let me tell you as much about myself as I can, and if I don't answer your question, you can ask when I'm done."
Jackie smiles, "Start with the vitals, coach."
"Call me Lissa for tonight, ok?" She gives the girl a beaming smile and begins to rattle off random information about herself, "I'm from Carmen, Alabama. It's on the east border of the state, right next to Georgia. I'd say it's a four or five hour drive from here. If I'm driving, it's four. If my mom's driving, it's five, but who doesn't drive faster than their mom, right?" Good, laughing is good, "I'm twenty-seven and the younger of two girls. My parents are still married and currently have only a cat living with them. My sister, Sherry, is married and lives in Atlanta with her husband and kids. She's three years older than I am, but you wouldn't know it by some of the choices she makes!" This is easier than I thought, "After I graduated from college I got a job working for my old high school. I was there a year before I got offered a position in Tennessee at Nelson High School." She points to Dana, "That's how I know Miss Dana, here. She was a sophomore when I got there and, well," she manages a bit of drama, "I was just so attached to her that I couldn't bear the thought of her leaving me behind! So I followed her, stalker style, from high school to college." Everyone is laughing, and she likes knowing she's keeping them happy. She winks at Dana, who blushes bright red, "I'm kidding, of course. I got offered this job and since it was a step up, I took it. Having the ocean in my back yard doesn't hurt, either. I'm single, no kids or pets, though I might like to have at least one of each someday. I live alone obviously, and I can make a mean peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You'll taste my spaghetti soon." What else, what else? "Um, this is my natural hair color, I detest working out, and I wear glasses when I read, although I hate them. I love chocolate and potato chips, though, not together. My favorite drink is Pepsi. I had a four point GPA in college and a three point eight in high school. Trig kicked my butt, ya know? Let's see, I don't drink alcohol often, I don't smoke, but I have been known to drop an 'F bomb' or two… or three." Realizing she's lying through her teeth, she laughs, "Who am I kidding? I have a potty mouth when I'm not minding my manners! Anything else y'all want to know?"
"You're a good looking woman, coach. I mean, damn, you're hot!" Jackie points out, "Why do you live alone? I mean, you must get offers left and right!"
"Oh goodness, Jackie!" Lissa blushes and laughs in spite of herself, "I don't know. Just…," her throat tightens and she can't continue. Once she swallows, she tries again, "I have bad luck, I guess."
"Further proof that men are stupid," Jackie shakes her head in disbelief, "just damned stupid."
"Well, thank you, Jackie, but it's really more of a personal choice. I'd rather be alone right now than in a relationship with someone I don't love."
"You ever tried women?" Jackie counters, gauging her reaction.
A loud, nervous laugh erupts from nowhere in Lissa's body and then she covers her mouth to hide the smile, "I," not quite sure how to respond, she goes a different route. "Is that something you think I should give some thought to, Jackie?"
Jackie nudges Julie, who speaks up, "Oh, yeah, definitely, coach." She studies the woman's face for a reaction, "If you want, we could hook you up with someone who would be more than willing to devote every hour of the day to coaching you in that arena." Pick me! Pick me!
"Really?" She cocks her head to the side, wanting to see how far Julie will go with this angle, "And what makes you think I'd need to be taught how to please a woman?"
Only slightly caught off guard by the response, Julie counters, "I'm not saying that you do. I'm just saying that if you're open to it, there are people who would…" Julie pauses, "just love to show you all the benefits of being with the softer sex."
The group is peppered with soft laughter, but she will not be made a fool of in her own house, "Well thank you, Whit, but I know plenty about how to please a woman. And, just so you know, it would take more than just a phone call to find a woman in this town who could take me on and have the strength to talk about it after. I'm a coach, remember? No one has to teach me a thing, but there's plenty I could teach someone else, sweetheart. Even you."
Julie's mouth, gaping from shock, moves but makes no sound.
Her response makes Jackie laugh loudly, "Damn! Whit, she just handed you your own ass!! Would you like a bag with that?"
Julie doesn't utter a sound. Lissa's a little afraid the girl might have lost her vocal chords with that hard gulp. She continues and gives her a moment to compose herself, "Any other questions?"
Like nails on a chalkboard, Jenny pipes up, "Well that's all very interesting, but could we please change the subject? Have you ever played basketball?"
Before Lissa can respond, Dana answers, "Yes!" She jumps up and grabs a book off the bookshelf, "And I can prove it!"
"Oh God, we don't have to go there, do we?" I knew she'd get me back for the stalker thing.
Julie, very interested at this new information, insists, "Yes, we do. What's that, Dana?"
"This," Dana says, holding up the book, "is coach's junior yearbook from high school." She shoots a sweet smile at Lissa. Softly she coos, "You see, ladies, our Coach Norman was an all-star point guard in high school. For four years straight she held the assist record in Alabama." Her voice falters just a bit, "But in her junior year she suffered a leg injury that ended her career."
Everyone turns to look at their new coach. Her downcast eyes give her emotions away, "Acute ACL injury."
"But she left her mark, that's for sure. Her sophomore year was her best year and she still holds the assist record in Alabama," she beams, "for any gender of basketball player in high school or college!" She flips through the pages and finds the picture she's looking for, "This is her!"
Everyone except Julie gathers excitedly to look at the picture. Instead, she turns to Lissa, "You didn't play as a senior?"
Memories flood her brain like a tidal wave, "Nope."
Confused, Julie asks, "But then, how did you play for four years?"
Dana speaks up again, "She was a starter on the varsity team in the eighth grade!"
Julie's eyes widen, "Damn!"
"Holy shit!" Jackie exclaims, "You started in the eighth grade?"
“Yes," she nods sadly, the memories still hurt, "I did. And when I got hurt, they kept me on the team for moral support. I was heavily recruited by Alabama, Tennessee, Connecticut, and others, but the doctors told me that if I even tried doing more than my rehab, I'd screw my knee up so badly I might not be able to walk, much less play ball." Biting her lip she takes a deep breath, "So I quit ball for good. I decided that if I couldn't play, I'd coach." Shaking the emotion off and spreading her arms, "And so y'all have me now!"
Julie motions for the book and when she looks at the picture, she smiles, "You look pretty good on the court." You'd look better naked and off it, though. She looks up, "Can you play at all?"
"Yeah, once in a while I'll get on the court and do a little one on one play with a few friends of mine."
Like a freight train you can't slow down, Dana breaks in again, "Coach knows a lot of WNBA players. I've seen her kick the asses of some major stars! She's friends with a bunch of people whose names you'll recognize."
Excitedly Jackie asks, "Who?"
Dana runs off a list, "Yolanda Yarburough, Gail Weatherly, and Haddey Ozment to name a few. But the absolute biggest name she knows is her second best friend," she pauses for dramatic effect, "Deedra Tatum."
Jackie, flabbergasted, turns to Lissa excitedly, "You know Deedra Tatum?"
She laughs. Oh, if you only knew how well I know Deedra, "Yes. I know Deedra from a long way back. We went to clinics together as kids. And through the years we kept running across each other. Then, the summer before I got hurt, we became the best of friends. We've stayed in touch all through her college career." And we touched all through college, too.
"She's got her cell number in her phone and she had pictures of them all over the place in her other apartment in Tennessee." Dana turns to Lissa now, "Where are those pictures, anyway?"
"I haven't had time to put them up. Plus, I don't have a ladder. Maybe I could recruit a couple of you tall ladies to help me hang them later?"
Dana scoffs, "Coach, you know all you need to do is ask." She's a good recruiter, "Tammy and I will do them."
"Thanks, ladies. That would be wonderful." It'll be good to have those pictures up again. She's been feeling a little homesick without them. The place doesn't feel like it's hers.
Julie shakes her head and sounds almost hurt, "You played ball and you didn't tell us?"
"Whit, I didn't think it mattered, honestly." She reaches out and puts a hand on the girl's foot, "I mean, you don't have to play the game to understand it. Oh, I admit, it helps tremendously if you've played, but it's not necessary."
"But you were so good!" Julie leans forward, "You could help me a lot, I bet."
"Oh no," Lissa shakes her head fervently; "I'm going to leave that up to our offense coach. I think Coach Gunn's doing a fantastic job."
"But you could give me pointers as a woman who's played. He's a man and has only played against men. He doesn't know how it feels to be a woman playing against women. You do."
When the woman looks into Julie's eyes, she can't help seeing a little bit of herself there…the "old" Lissa from high school, the kid begging for a chance to play. Truthfully, she hasn't played in years and wished to God she'd never have to play again. The fear of failure and further injury is overwhelming, but she knows already that if Julie Whitney asks her to do it, she will, "Look, if at any time you think you need help, you can certainly come and ask me. I'll do what I can, okay?"
Julie, satisfied, nods and lays the open book in her lap, "Cool."
"So where did you go to high school? And where did you end up going to college?" Jana asks.
"I went to high school in my hometown, at Carmen High School. I went to the University of Alabama on an academic scholarship. So I'm a Tide fan through and through."
Beth perks up, "Roll Tide!"
She laughs, "Damn right! You must be from Alabama, too?"
"You got that right!" Beth beams, "Born and raised in Wetumpka."
"Right on!"
Tentatively Mandy raises her hand, "Coach?"
"Yes?"
"Do you plan on sticking around here a while? Or is this just a stepping stone to something bigger?"
"I'm going to be here for as long as they'll have me, honey." Eager to get out of the spotlight, she switches up the conversation, "Okay, you'll have plenty of time to learn about me. Now I want to know about each of you. Just start when you're ready. Give the vitals and anything else you want us to know."
Everyone looks expectantly at Dana, who's closest to Lissa, and the girl blushes, "Oh, boy, on the spot first thing, huh?" She wiggles in her seat and clears her throat, "Well, I'm Dana Tess and I'm from Tennessee. I'm one of three kids. I have a brother and sister. My brother's name is Brian, he's eight. My sister is actually my twin and her name is Dena."
Jackie groans, "Oh God!" She falls over onto Julie with a melodramatic sigh, "There's two of them!"
"Shut up!" Dana continues with a laugh, "Y'all already know that I knew Lissa from my high school." She grins, "So if you really want the dirt on her, just ask."
Mandy retorts, "Mental note: Make a gab-fest date with Dana about Lissa." She shoots a look at Lissa pointedly, "And I am getting all the details."
Dana laughs when the older woman groans, "I'll be honest, but will only reveal what I know when directly asked." She winks and continues, "Let's see, I didn't make great grades like coach did in high school. I'm in college strictly because I can play ball! I'm single and haven't ever been in a relationship. I had one crush in high school. It was on a guy named Boyd, he was a writer and I just adored him. I knew he was going to go places and do wonderful, exciting things because he was so smart and cute and talented." Her face falls, "He's a construction worker who works for my dad now." She laughs, "Life's crazy like that, huh?"
Jackie raises a hand to dismiss that thought and adds, "Honey, men are crazy, don't feel bad for falling for the lie. I'm sure every woman in this room has a story of her own. Continue."
She looks down at her hands, "I love animals, I dye my hair, and I just…" she shrugs and looks back up, "am really glad to have the chance to play this game with y'all."
Lissa knows how much being on this team means to Dana. Having been her coach in the past, she knows all too well what her home life is like. And the version she gave just now is Dana's way of looking on the bright side.
Julie grins at the girl, "We're glad to have ya, Dana."
Dana blushes slightly, "Thanks, Whit."
Jackie jumps right in, "My turn! Jackie Baits, here, ladies. I'm from here in Chestnut and I'm seventeen. My grades sucked in high school, too, but thankfully I can play a little ball."
"Just a little," Julie mumbles with a smile.
"Yeah," Jackie laughs, "just a little." She continues, "My parents are divorced. I live with my mom. My dad's in Ohio working. My brother is twenty and in the Army being all he can be. I like animals and because black people's hair doesn't take color too well, this beautiful shade of bird shit is my natural color." The whole room explodes in laughter and when it dies down she speaks again, "Just to get it out there, I'm a lesbian. I've been out since the age of thirteen. I had a crush on my teacher, Mrs. Cannel." She sighs, "She was something else. I had my first girlfriend when I was fourteen and we went together for almost four days."
"That's her longest relationship, too," Julie jokes.
"Ha. Ha." Jackie shoots the girl the evil eye and then grins, "But you're about right! The longest fling I've had was one month, two weeks, and three days long." She shakes her head, "I couldn't bear going to college four states away from her, so I broke it off."
Genuinely curious, Lissa asks, "So she went away to school?"
"Yep," Jackie nods. "She's in Texas playing softball for UT."
"Hey," Jenny speaks up, "we didn't trade your girlfriend for Whit, did we? If we did, can we get a refund? I'll pay any restocking fee they charge."
Julie rolls her eyes and sighs, but Jackie speaks for her, "We tried getting a refund for you, Jenny, but they refused. Said we agreed to take you 'as is'. They didn't tell us some assembly was required." She elbows Julie and whispers, "She should’ve been marked 'void where prohibited'." Julie covers her mouth and stifles a very loud laugh.
Lissa stops the argument before it ever grows wings, "And your parents are okay with your sexuality?"
"My mom's okay with it," Jackie's voice lowers just a touch, "and my dad's working on accepting it. But he left me, my brother, and my mom when I was thirteen. So I honestly don't give a flying damn what he thinks. And, of course, my brother thinks it's the coolest thing since Velcro."
"Hey," Lissa smiles brightly, "you are who you are, honey. And you're a beautiful, smart, fantastic basketball player, and one hell of a young woman. You don't have anything to be ashamed of."
Jackie smiles, "Look, I'm just glad that I made it as far as I have. And I'm really enjoying the ride so far. I'm also really glad it doesn't seem to freak you out that I have an 'alternative lifestyle'."
"Jackie, remember this: every lifestyle is an alternative to dying alone." Lissa addresses the group, "There are always going to be people who talk about you. Inevitably there will be someone who's not going to like your clothes or your hair or who you take home. And I say, 'To Hell with 'em.'" She winks at Jackie, "I applaud your bravery in coming out to the group. This is an open team. And, again, until your sexual preference interferes with your ability to play basketball, I don't give a damn which gender you date. Just be safe and smart." Glancing around the room, she asks, "Who's next?"
One by one, each girl reveals as much as they feel comfortable. There are several girls with split families. But Lissa is amazed at how different and yet, so alike they are. Cindy has same-sex parents, Mark and Jim. Several of the girls are lesbians and there are four of them who've had more relationships than their coach. Stephanie was in ballet until her senior year of high school and dropped out of a touring troupe to play ball. Gretchen is a trained deep sea fisherman and has won several contests with her dad. Laura's given name is Laurel April Marie Diane Moran because her parents couldn't decide on one name. Tammy has asthma and Linda, who is the oldest at twenty, has a broken collarbone that refuses to heal. Gayle is the youngest at just barely seventeen, but she's the only girl who's in a serious relationship. She's been with her girlfriend, August, for almost two years.
Curious as to why she's waited to be last, Lissa informs Julie that it's her turn, "Okay, Whit, it's your turn. Spill all the juicy details."
"You'll learn soon enough that I always save the best for last," Julie gives the woman a drop-dead gorgeous smile. "I'm Julie Anne Whitney. You already know I'm from Planco, Texas. I'm the older of two children, like you, Lissa. My brother, Mark, is seven and I call him 'Buddy'. I'm actually adopted. The Whitney’s adopted me when I was ten and Mark was born just before I turned twelve." She waits for any kind of comment and continues when no comments come, "You've all heard the horror stories about adopted kids and I was no different, so I won't bore you with the details, but I didn't have a great childhood until the Whitney’s. I adore my mom, Hannah, and worship my dad, Ricky. My real mom died when I was six months old. Obviously I don't remember her, but they tell me her name was Veronica."
When Julie pauses, Dana tentatively asks, "What about your dad? Did you know him at all?"
Julie smiles, but there's a bit of sadness there, "His name was Grant and he was killed long before I was born. I don't know how and honestly probably don't want to know. When my birth mother got sick with cancer, she took herself to the hospital and had me in her arms when she collapsed at the ER. The nurses at the hospital where she died tried to find my family, but" she bites her lip, "they couldn't. So, when I was almost one, I went into the foster care system."
Amazed at the story she's hearing, Lissa asks gently, "So the Whitney's didn't adopt you immediately?"
She takes a deep breath and lowers her eyes, "No. From that day until I was ten, I went through twenty-four foster homes. And they were all different versions of Hell. I've been beaten, burnt with cigarettes, tied to a chair, and starved for eight days straight. I've been in therapy since I was twelve and I still go see my therapist at least once every six months. She's hooked me up with a really cool guy here in Chestnut to continue my treatment. I'll probably be seeing a shrink for the rest of my life. So that's all the bad stuff."
Knowing that divulging this information is hurting Julie's pride, Jackie elbows her, "Then tell us the good stuff!"
"Okay," Julie stretches her legs out, "I have a dog named Doggie." She smiles and everyone else giggles, "Can you tell I thought of that all on my own? There's also a lazy cat named, of course, Kitty. I'm a lesbian and I've been in a couple of relationships but nothing I want to talk about, thank you. I tan in sun, instead of burning like Dana, have a tattoo on my lower back that's the Chinese symbol for 'chosen', and over seventy scars." She takes a breath and waits for someone to say something. Then, suddenly, she adds, sneaking a look at her coach, "Oh and my curtains match my carpet. Let me know if you want to see."
Too stunned to laugh outright, the girls just snicker. Lissa's absolutely blown away by Julie's story and can't think of a single thing to say. When her mystified brain catches up with her comment, she innocently asks, "The curtains in your room? Wait, aren't the carpets in the dorms a nasty orange color?"
Julie laughs first, followed by everyone else, "No, that means that this is my real hair color. Your hair is the curtain and your… uh…" she can't finish for blushing.
Jackie steps in to help, "The hair in your nether region is considered the carpet."
It takes a moment, but when she finally catches on, she laughs loudly, "Oh my God! That's a good one." Oh, yeah, I'm going to have to use that one! Farrah will love that! Then she gets serious, "Julie, I think that I speak for everyone when I say thank you for sharing that with us. I knew you were a strong person. But," she shakes her head, "I didn't have a clue just how strong you are. I have to say that you have really stunned me. And I'm just," putting a hand over her heart, "honored to know someone as strong as you are." Her jaw clenches and she's surprised to find that she's fighting back emotions she can't describe, "I haven't been through anything close to what you've been through. And you've become someone who exudes grace, humility, strength, and calm. You're one truly amazing person, Julie Anne Whitney." When the girl smiles that same beautiful smile, Lissa forgets that she's ever been hurt. And when she lets out a giggle, the woman forgets everything else she ever claimed to know. Blushing, she asks, "What? Did I say it wrong?"
"No, I just like how you say my name," Julie mumbles and lowers her gaze shyly before looking up into her coach's eyes again, "Thanks."
Their eyes lock for a long moment as the girls talk amongst themselves. Julie eventually turns away, and begins talking to Jackie, leaving Lissa to reflect on her thoughts. She's been through so much in such a short, short time. I can't possibly compare our lives and not feel horrible for ever complaining about something trivial. Sure, Lissa's had hard times; break ups that wounded her to the core, relationships that left emotional scars, but they are nothing to the experiences Julie's suffered through. When Jackie says she's hungry, Lissa snaps out of her reverie, "Okay, it's time to eat!"
When they take their seats at the dining room table, Stephanie turns to Lissa with a confused look, "Why do you have such a big table?"
Looking around at all the expectant faces, she quips, "Because I knew y'all were coming!"
"Will you get a bigger bed when we all get together for a sleep over? One that will fit us all?" Jackie asks in jest.
She pretends to be hurt, "Jackie! What makes you think I want everyone else sleeping in my bed? If we have a sleep over, I want it to be just you and me!"
Everyone laughs at Jackie as the girl fumbles for words amongst the embarrassment and creeping smile, "Oh, uh. Shit." To the group, "Shut up! Yeah, she got me. Shut up!"
Julie pokes the girl on the arm, "I have never seen you speechless before! This is all so new to me!"
"Well it's not every day that the hot new coach makes even a joking pass at you! Damn, give me a little slack!" Jackie laughs, "Besides, Whit, you know you'd fight me tooth and nail to be in my place if that was to ever happen."
Julie blushes furiously but manages a comeback, "Damn right, Baits! You are damn right about that!" She steals a glance at Lissa who's putting food on a plate, acting as if she didn't hear them. And yet, she's hanging on every word with amusement, "You wouldn't mind, would you, coach, if Jackie gave me her spot in your bed?"
For a moment Lissa pretends to think about the offer, "No, I don't guess so."
Jackie nudges Julie and directs her attention at Lissa, "Julie's hands are bigger than mine, coach. That doesn't bother you, does it?"
Catching the innuendo, Lissa gazes directly at the two grinning mischief makers, "I catch what you're referring to, Miss Baits, and I think I should take this opportunity to teach you a bit. When it comes to matters of sex, if the job is done right, almost every woman can handle any size presented." One down, Julie's turn for a stare, "So, Julie, if you work the foreplay right, it won't matter what size your fingers are, I'll be able to handle them. Not only that, but if you're as good at foreplay as you'd like to think you are, I'll be begging for it."
Mmm don't tease me, Coach. You don't know half of what I'd do to you. Her face flushes only slightly now, as she's enjoying the banter, "Well there's only one way to find out, isn't there?"
She smiles at the quickness of the girl's comeback. With a look that’s a little more wicked than she intends, she replies, "Yes."
Feeling Jackie turn to speak to someone else, Julie pauses a moment as the conversations swirl around them. She drops her voice just above a whisper as she leans towards the woman, "Are you saying you'd like to find out?"
Oh, Julie, you'd be surprised at what I'd like to find out. Smiling, Lissa reaches out and puts a hand over hers, "I don't want you to get the wrong idea."
"But…"
She shakes her head, "No 'but'."
"Oh, there's a 'but'. I hear it." Julie leans closer and holds Lissa's eyes with her own, "You don't want me to get the wrong idea, but the answer is 'yes'."
"You barely know me and yet you think you can answer that for me?" Her voice belies the fact that Julie's got her squirming. She's putting on more bravado than she actually feels.
"I don't have to know someone long to recognize need in their eyes," she counters.
Lissa removes her hand and her voice takes on a strong undertone, "Julie, there are a lot of things I want in life. My pictures hung on the wall, more time with my mom, and a decent pan to cook frozen pizza on. But there are very, very few things I need. And I am not so far gone at this point that I need anyone. Not even you."
Ouch. Point made. Maybe I'm going a little too fast. Julie breaks their gaze and places her napkin in her lap, "Of course not." She takes her fork and twirls spaghetti around it, "I'll just sit here and keep my comments to myself." She still thinks I'm a child. That's ok...I got time, Miss Norman. I'll show you.
Ah, shit. I didn't mean to sound like a total ass, "Julie, please don't be mad. I was just saying-"
"I know what you are saying," Julie cuts the woman off firmly but keeps her voice intimate, "and I understand. I'm sorry if I crossed a line. I'll keep my opinions to myself from now on."
"No, you don't know what I'm saying because you didn't let me say anything." It takes her a moment to find the right words, "I guess I was on the defensive because you're right to a certain extent." Julie looks up at her, but Lissa looks away, "I mean, it's been a while since I've felt…well, anything from anyone. I felt a little transparent because you clearly saw through me." You're saying too much, Lissa. Ah, fuck it! She sighs and adds, "And I suppose I was a little embarrassed about you knowing that much about me that quickly."
The corners of Julie's mouth curl into a slow grin, "I won't tell anybody. I promise." She reaches out and touches the tip of Lissa's nose lightly, "It'll be our little secret."
Lissa thinks she might have shivered but she swallows hard and smiles to cover it, "Okay. And don't hold it against me, either. I'm not desperate. I'm just…um," she shrugs, "waiting on the right person, you know?"
Julie nods, "I know. But, if I were you, I'd stop kicking myself in the ass over being alone. After all, from where I sit, it's everyone else's loss that you haven't picked someone to love. And it's a shame you haven't found someone to take that look out of your eyes. Just a damn shame." But I'll volunteer right here and now if you're taking applications.
Oh my, she's laying it on thick! She can't help laughing at that, "Well, maybe I'll find someone by the time we have another conversation like this." She takes a bite of her roll, "Then I can redeem myself and that look you noticed will be gone. Replaced, hopefully, by the look of a sexually and emotionally satisfied woman."
Julie smiles at Lissa with that twinkle in her eyes again, "Well, who knows? Maybe I'll be there when it happens and you won't have to tell me."
Over the din of laughter and clinking glass, Lissa holds their gaze, not missing the insinuation of that statement. She smiles shyly and when Whit winks at her, a shiver works its way down her spine again. I wonder what she'd do if I asked to see her carpet. The thought almost makes her choke on her spaghetti.
Chapter 3
Monday, October 18
"I can't believe this shit," Jackie slings her book bag onto the conference room table, "It's not like we're going to flunk out if we don't pass this damn test."
Julie sighs and takes a seat, "I know, but if we don't pass, we can't play." And God knows, I have to play or I'll go fucking crazy.
"I know," defeated, Jackie plops down in the chair across the table, "Where's coach?"
"I don't know," Julie takes a book and notebook out of her bag and opens them both, "We can start without her, right?"
Jackie shrugs, "Hell if I know! I haven't had a mandatory study hall before!"
Just then the door opens and Lissa comes rushing through, "Sorry, ladies. I got caught on a conference call." She all but throws her laptop down on the table, "Just go ahead and start. I'll try to be as quiet as possible. I've got some work to do myself. The plans for the season kickoff dinner are going to kill me." Or drive me to drink! She plugs the power cord into the wall outlet and mumbles, "Where the hell is my pen?"
Jackie shoots Julie a smile and then delves into her own notes. Julie gives the coach a long look. I wonder if she knows how beautiful she is. She sighs, probably not. Lissa notices her looking and looks back expectantly. Julie reaches out and gently pulls the pen out of the woman's hair. Holding it up she smiles, "You looking for this?"
Her hand is shaking slightly when she reaches out for the pen, "Yes, thank you." She breaks eye contact. I can't help it! Those eyes are going to melt me, "Um," she ventures another look, "do you need anything?"
She raises one eyebrow, "That's a loaded question, coach." You. I want you.
Oh shit...now what? Lissa tries to squelch the blush, "Oh, sorry." Her throat is suddenly very dry, "Do you need a drink or anything to write with or..." she swallows hard, "anything?" Damn, she's caught me! She knows she's thrown me off and she loves it!
She smirks, "Nah, I've got a pen and a bottle of water." She licks her lips, and notices that Lissa's watching that very deliberate move. Oh God, don't let me throw you on this table right now, but I have to ask you, "Do you need anything?"
If I gaze at her lips a moment longer, I’ll be a puddle on the floor formerly known as Coach Norman. Her eyes jerk back up, "Oh, uh, no," she pats the pile of paperwork she brought, "I've got everything I think." She turns to locate the water cooler, "And there's a water machine in here if I get thirsty. And I am." I want to drink you, Julie Whitney. Slurp you up like a... FUCK! Don't go there, Lissa. Breathe, damn you!