More Black Dreamz
By
James F. Park
Smashwords Edition
***
PUBLISHED BY:
James Park on Smashwords
More Black Dreamz
Copyright © 2008 James Park
More Black Dreamz ISBN number 9780955609251
Smashwords Edition License Notes
This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
***
More Black Dreamz is a continuation of Black Dream.
‘I belong to Glasgow,
Dear old Glasgow town,
But what’s the matter wi’ Glasgow,
For it’s goin’ roun’ and roun’!
I’m only a common old working chap’
As anyone can see,
But when I get a couple o’ drinks on a Saturday,
Glasgow belongs to me,’
sang the wee man still dressed in black as he appeared through the big black hole in the wall behind James and went directly to Indy’s side and gently, ever so very gently, rubbed a clear liquid on her forehead.
‘Hello again my friend and how are you this fine evening?’
‘Oh no not you again, is that the only song you know? The last time you were here it took me six months to get that tune out of my head,’ said James, ‘and what was that you just rubbed on Indy’s brow.’
‘Nothing that will harm her I assure you,’ said the wee man, ‘and anyway it’s your fault for teaching the song to me in the first place. It’s now my favourite and I’ve decided to sing it just as I make an appearance. It’s time for us to go you know where so I’ll swap your soul for hers, if you agree, and I’ll promise you riches beyond your wildest dreams. Not only that you’ll live forever in the lap of luxury and Sophie will be your eternal companion. With a snap of my fingers the liquid will dissolve into her and she’ll soon wake up and make a full recovery and have a long and fruitful life but rest assured she’ll not remember anything that you’ve told her.’
‘Do I have time to finish my story before I go?’
‘No you don’t but you can tell me, it sounds as if it could be very interesting,’ said the wee man.
‘Cool,’ said James, ‘can I start from the beginning?’
‘Why not, we’ve got plenty of time and I’ll guarantee you there’ll be no more Black Dreamz,’ said the wee man slinging his sickle over his shoulder as he guided him towards the darkness.
‘Don’t believe a word he says James, he’s nasty and a black dream collector of the worst kind, not only will you have more dreams but they’ll be worse than ever and you won’t have time to finish your story because your soul will be too busy trying to keep his demons at bay,’ said the invisible soothing voice.
‘And who are you and where are you?’ asked James as he looked around, seeing no-one.
‘We met very briefly many years ago but it was my time to go and I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye. I’ve always been near by and now it’s my turn to look after you. He can’t guarantee your friend will wake up, no-one can but mankind has made tremendous strides in the last ten years regarding comatose patients so there is every chance she will wake up of her own accord and the sound of your voice would have been a contributory factor to her survival. Your sins have been forgiven James so just turn around and walk into the light and there’ll be no more pain or nightmares. Please don’t go towards the darkness, turn around and come
home to me.’
‘Listen to her my love, please listen to her, she really does know best,’ said the vision, not as she was found but as he remembered her, that appeared by his side.
‘I hate making choices,’ said James, ‘because I usually make the wrong one. Invisible voice what can you offer me?’
‘I can offer you peace and eternal happiness,’ she said.
James thought for a few moments, looked at his left upturned palm and then his right as if weighing up both offers and then looked into Sophie’s golden brown eyes.
‘Oh bollocks,’ cried James out loud as he was rudely awakened by the loud knocking on his bedroom door.
‘Good morning lazybones it’s nearly eleven, are you okay?’ asked Beth when she peeked her head into his room.
‘Yes, I’m fine. I was having a weird dream and was just getting to the good part when you woke me up.’
‘Sorry, was it a good weird dream or a bad one and was I in it?’ she said sitting on the end of his dishevelled bed.
‘No you weren’t in it but Sophie and my wee dressed in black friend was or at least I thought he was my friend but now I’m not so sure. There was an invisible familiar voice and I had a choice to make.’
‘Did you make the right choice and who was Sophie, was she your childhood dog?’
‘I don’t know because you woke me up and no, she wasn’t my dog. If you must know she was my first and only true love and I know you’ll find that hard to believe,’ James said as he reached for his cigarette packet, opened it and stuck one in his mouth.
‘I don’t actually. I believe there is someone for everyone. It’s just a matter of finding them at the right time. What happened between you and Sophie?’
‘In that case I suppose you could call it bad timing because not too long after we met she was found floating in the river Clyde and her killer was never found. I doubt he’s still alive but if he is then I’m going to find him and make him wish he wasn’t.’
‘You don’t mean that James, personally I don’t think you’re capable of inflicting any kind of pain let alone murder someone, are you?’ she asked smiling tentatively.
Subtly changing the subject James said, ‘Our appointment with Jenny is in less than an hour so why don’t you bugger off to the canteen and get us some tea and I’ll meet you in Indy’s room in twenty minutes unless
you want me to go smelling like a pair of Harry’s old socks.’
‘Nurse Murphy was right, wasn’t she, when she told me you had a soft spot for your Indy. I bumped into her on her way out of Indy’s room on my way here and you still haven’t answered my question.’
‘Well you’re answer will have to wait unless you want to see me naked,’ he said with a I dare you hopeful look on his face.
‘Tempting as that apparition might be I think I’ll pass on your kind invitation and for your information my Uncle Harry doesn’t have smelly feet. Indy’s room in twenty minutes and don’t be late.’
***
Jenny sat drumming her fingers impatiently on the same Formica topped table she and James had sat at a couple of days earlier and wondered if the tummy pains she was having were her due woman related issues or had she picked up the same bug that had hit some of her colleagues. She hoped it wasn’t the latter. As she sat waiting she remembered her last embarrassing tummy pained moments and she closed her eyes and cringed. The bus had been packed with early morning commuters and she thought she could get away with letting go what she’d hoped was a silent wind break but it wasn’t that silent nor was it just wind. Two, slow motioned what seemed like ten, seconds had passed before the nearest passenger, a plook infested teenager, realised what had happened and his loud odious shouts alerted the whole bus to her self-consciousness, pungent and overpowering smelliness and by the time she had walked the two miles home the brown liquid had dried hard and cold making her overweight bottom and thighs feel like they had been set on fire. She’d noticed the bathwater had risen by three inches when she’d sank into the welcoming soothing bubbly hotness that day and vowed to loose weight and then make the spotted one suffer for his outcry, if she ever met him again. But that was years ago and she probably wouldn’t recognise him now nor would he as she’d not only lost a lot of the excess baggage she’d carried throughout her late teens and early twenties but managed very successfully to keep it off even though she sometimes slipped backwards into fast food mode. The pain was much sharper the second time and she rushed to the ladies, slammed the cubicle door shut and got seated just in time before the inevitable mixture of farts and liquid brownness gushed from deep within her bowels making the white porcelain pan and her equally white pink holed bottom look like they had been splattered by a paint ball enthusiast on a bad day.
James and Beth had ordered coffee and were waiting when she eventually appeared from her sanctuary and she looked pale, very pale but worse than that she felt pale, the kind of pale that made her look more like a vampire victim than a what she had always thought of herself as a sophisticated and dedicated policewoman. But the diarrhoea bug takes no prisoners, doesn’t care who its victims are and most certainly doesn’t differentiate between commoners and royalty because they’re all the same to it, just victims and the more the merrier.
‘You don’t look so good Jenny. You look like you’ve got the running scooters bug. If it’s any consolation I’ve had it for a few days so I know how you feel and by the way this is Beth. Beth meet Jenny, my very friendly plain clothed policewoman, who will ask you some questions but not too many awkward ones,’ said James as he half stood, pretending to be the gentleman he wasn’t, when Jenny approached their table and sat down.
‘I’m fine but thank you for asking James. Hello Beth I’m pleased to meet you at last, James has told me so much about you,’ and hoped her sarcastic directed at James reply hadn’t gone unnoticed, ‘if you don’t mind,’ she continued, ‘perhaps we could conduct this interview somewhere more private.’
‘How about your wee flat?’ suggested James as he remembered his last visit to her boudoir with affection, ‘if that’s okay with you Jenny?’
‘It’s fine with me, how about you Beth?’
‘I don’t mind as long as it gets it over with and the quicker the better as far as I’m concerned.’
‘Please, make yourselves at home while change into something more comfortable,’ said Jenny as she showed them into her tidy lounge, ‘James put the kettle on, if you remember where it is, I’ll be right back.’
‘You’ve been here before James, oh you sly wee dog,’ said Beth with a twinkle in her eye.
‘Hmmm,’ was all he said as he looked forlornly at the white rug and he felt an embarrassing uprising where he wished there hadn’t been any and he blushed, something he hadn’t done in a very, very long time but he liked the feeling.
‘Well I’m waiting,’ was all Beth had time to say before Jenny reappeared and what she was wearing made Beth feel she was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
‘Beth I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind giving your statement to my little friend while James and I make some tea,’ the seductive heart breaker Jenny said as she handed her a small tape recorder, ‘you get
started we won’t be too long.’
In the kitchen Jenny didn’t waist any time and soon had her tongue half way down James’ throat while she guided his eager to please fingers towards her already curly dampness. Coming up for air but not removing his playful digits from their warm drowning sanctuary James whispered, ‘A thot yoo wurnae feelin too gid?’ and then wondered why he’d, without warning, switched back into his own Glaswegian tongue and hoped there wasn’t a headache to follow.
‘Suddenly I feel much better,’ she seductively replied as her hands started firstly to explore by unzipping him and then delving, like an Olympic high board diver, into his underwear where they found his ready erectness and quickly played with it until it squirted its white silkiness leaving him feeling tacky and slightly breathless.
‘Beth do you take sugar in your tea or are you sweet enough?’ Jenny shouted when she’d washed him from her hands.
‘I’m not that sweet, two sugars and milk please and I can’t get this recorder to work,’ Beth shouted back, shaking the small black contraption in the air like a wild Sudanese dervish warrior.
‘That won’t make it work, the batteries are probably dead,’ said James as he quickly slipped unnoticed past Beth on the way to the bathroom to clean himself up. Two minutes later he was back and sitting next to his friend, minus his flushed down the toilet soiled boxer shorts, smelling like a perfect bunch of red roses.
‘There, all sorted. In your own words Beth, tell us what happened at the railway station on the day you went to Edinburgh,’ said Jenny when she’d replaced the dud batteries with new long life ones.
‘I don’t remember that much because I was in a bit of a state. The station was extremely busy but there was a woman about my age who bumped into me a couple of times. She looked a bit drunk so I never paid that much attention to her the first time but I did notice she had a tattoo on her forearm the second time she more awkwardly jostled me. It was of a dragon but not the normal kind, you know the fierce black and red ones, it was more of a green cartoon dragon with purple wings and it had pointed green horns and I remember it looked quite cute because it was carrying a purple bowl that said porridge on it.’
‘Did you notice anyone else, someone, anyone who was maybe watching you or looked out of place or seemed a bit odd, a man maybe,’ asked Jenny.
‘No, just the woman, but she was still quite smartly dressed even without a coat and her handbag and shoes were quite nice too.’
‘Do you think you could describe the tattoo to a sketch artist?’
‘Probably,’ replied Beth.
‘Good, give me two minutes to get dressed and we’ll get down the nick and I’ll arrange it. You finish your tea and James I think you should make yourself scarce,’ said Jenny after she’d clicked the tape recorder off.
‘That sounds like a plan Jenny so I’ll be off back to the hospital to continue my wee story. I’ll see you later Beth.’
***
‘Hi Indy, you smell nice, I take it nurse Murphy has been so I suppose you’ll be having more physiotherapy to-day so I’ll not stay too long but before I continue with your education on the criminal mind I’ve just got to pop to the loo for a quick pee, won’t be long,’ said James.
It was the loud swishing of the curtains being closed that made him stop mid flow and peek out into Indy’s room and he didn’t like what he saw next one little bit. Not only was the physiotherapist male but he was a black male, a very black male almost the same colour as the one in his last Black Dream and the hairs on the back of his neck began to stand on end when he saw what he saw. He stood totally paralysed for nearly thirty minutes, wanting to help Indy but couldn’t. His thick silent salty tears ran down his face and dripped off his chin as he watched her being violated in the most horrible way imaginable.
Nurse Murphy’s loud knocking snapped James out of his dream like state and made the physiotherapist jump and he said loudly, ‘Just a minute. Okay you can come in now.’
‘Oh sorry Tyrone, aren’t you finished yet? Have you seen James?’
‘James, who’s James?’ said Tyrone, ‘and please call me Ty.’
‘Okay Ty it is and James is this wee one’s friend, he’s telling her a story, have you seen him?’
‘I haven’t seen anyone in here to-day but what does he look like anyway?’
‘Oh you’ll know him when you see him, trust me you will. Now scoot before he arrives so I can tidy this room up a bit.’
‘Okay, okay, just let me wash my hands first, won’t be a sec.’
James watched from the behind the shower curtain and for once kept his temper in check as Tyrone opened the window, took out his cigarettes, lit up and swallowed hard and when Nurse Murphy asked at him to hurry up he threw the ciggie out the window and quickly washed his hands but left his cancer sticks and windproof lighter on the window sill.
James stood motionless for ten minutes with his eyes tight shut and his fists clenched hard as if he was trying not to remember what he’d just witnessed but he did and he vowed vengeance for Indy of the worst kind imaginable. Soon he was going to take the greatest pleasure in making Tyrone wish he’d never been born. James pocketed the ciggies and flicked on the lighter and when he saw the power it had he grinned and said, ‘Oh Tyrone, yoo stupit sikk fukk yoo’ve jist geedmae a grate idea,’ and didn’t care if he got a headache, it would have been worth it.
Indy looked like an angel when he emerged from the en-suite but he didn’t have the courage to stay and talk to her instead he left and went looking for a suitable place to entertain Tyrone and it wasn’t too long before he found what he was looking for deep in the bowels of the hospital. The sign on the door read ‘Keep Out’ but that didn’t deter him and when he saw the inside he knew it was where Tyrone would take his last long agonising breath.
***
Catherine’s small sparse office had only one good thing going for it and that was a panoramic view of the Clyde when on a good clear day she’d often stood at her large window and waved to the passengers of the paddle steamer The Waverly as it trundled its way up river and wondered why she’d never actually acted like a tourist.
‘Why are you grinning like a big silly Cheshire cat?’ Catherine asked Jenny, ‘have you found out anything important or are you going to stand there all day.’
Jenny didn’t answer straight away instead she smugly handed her the A4 sheet of paper with the sketch artists drawing of the tattoo Beth had described earlier.
‘Oh look, a cartoon dragon and where are you thinking of putting this, not where it’ll be visibly seen I hope,’ Catherine said, once again her sarcastic side coming to the fore.
‘No boss I’m not having a tattoo but that’s what could have been on the arm of the victim in the park.’
‘And you know this how?’
Jenny handed her another A4 sheet and asked her to read her it.
‘I know one or two tattoo artists in town who might have done that so if it’s okay with you I’ll go and see them now.’
‘Fine, but before you go have you been to see the mother of the wee boy who thought he could fly?’
‘Yes, yesterday but she doesn’t know anything other than who sold him and his friends the drugs. She did say her husband has been on the warpath and he and his pals are not to be messed with and they are out looking for you know who. She said when they find him he’s a dead man.’
‘What’s his name, the father?’
‘All she said was Big Bull.’
‘Shit, that’s all we need, that big arsehole on the warpath, as if things couldn’t get any worse.’
‘You know this guy?’ asked Jenny tentatively.
‘Oh yes, we go way back. He is one of the so called ‘old school’ who has the scruples of a hyena and wouldn’t think twice about inflicting GBH at a drop of a hat, if the price was right. I bet you a hundred quid that our Mr. Smith knows him as well. Speaking of our James, and I know this is unorthodox, but I think you should take him with you when you go to see those tattoo people of yours. One reason being you can keep tabs on him and the other being I know he can be persuasive when he wants to be.’
‘Fine by me,’ said smiling Jenny, ‘I’ll give him a ‘phone on his mobile.’
‘He’s got a ‘phone?’ I didn’t think he could use a mobile.’
‘Yes he has and it’s one of the latest ones, with the camera and everything. He’s not as stupid as he makes out.’
‘I know that Jenny so you be careful when it comes to our James. Now off you go and I’ll see you later.’
***
‘Hi James it’s me, Jenny, where are you?’
‘I’m outside the hospital having a fag, why?’
‘Good then I’ll pick you up, I’m only five or so minutes away, and we’ll go and see some tattooists about the tattoo Beth described to our sketch artist.’
‘Does your boss know I’ll be tagging along?’
‘Yes it was her idea and before you ask I’ll explain when I see you, okay.’
Jenny hung up before he could say anything else so he shrugged his shoulders and put his new toy back in his pocket but not before the tall dark voice that belonged to the physiotherapist said, ‘Nice ‘phone, is it one of those new camera ones? I’ve fancied one of those since I seen it advertised on the telly but I can’t afford it on my salary.’
‘Then it’s your lucky day pal,’ said James as he recognised Tyrone, ‘I bought two and was going to advertise the other one for sale, are you interested? I’ll give it to you for a good price.’
‘I’ll need to inspect it first, one can’t be too careful nowadays you know.’
‘You’re quite right, one can’t be too careful nowadays, so why don’t you come with me and I’ll let you try it out and then we’ll discuss the price, cash of course.’
‘Fair enough,’ said Tyrone.
‘Okay follow me.’
‘Why are we going down here?’ asked Tyrone as they descended into the darkness.
‘I’m one of the new caretakers and until I get a place of my own I’m sleeping down here, in the boiler room. Here we are, in you come.’
‘Why is there only a chair, rope and some old oily rags in here,’ asked the by now getting nervous physiotherapist.
‘Because they’re all I’ll need along with this great wee lighter,’ was the last thing Tyrone heard before he landed flat on his back, out cold.
‘Bloody hell you’re a ton weight son,’ James said out loud as he struggled to get Tyrone off the floor and onto the armless chair, ‘I think I’ll need to do more exercise but then again what’s the point.’ It took him the best part of ten sweaty minutes to get his latest victim trussed up like an oven ready chicken and when he’d put the finishing touches in place he knew that when Tyrone woke he’d only taste the oily rag he’d stuffed into his perfect toothed mouth but hoped he wouldn’t realise it’s significance until it was too late but to give him something to think about James left the light on and the lighter in plain view. He bent down so that they were face to face and took a picture of Tyrone’s broken and blooded nose and really felt quite proud of himself for learning how to use his new gizmo so quickly.
James slowly closed the door behind him and as he walked along the dimly lit corridor all he could think about was their next meeting and that thought made him extremely and uncomfortably sexually excited but he knew he would savour every single second of his long planned torture.
***
‘Where have you been? Don’t you know it’s rude to keep a lady waiting?’
‘Sorry Jenny, something very urgent came up and it required my
immediate attention. Anyway I’m not that late, you’re early, for once, and where’s the lady?’ James said as he fastened his seatbelt, ‘anyway,’ he continued before she could get a word in, ‘are you feeling any better?’
‘Yes thank you and you can take that smart Alec look off your face it doesn’t suit you and before you ask Beth has gone home and no I didn’t let Catherine near her.’
‘We’re not doing too well, are we?’ asked James trying not to sound too sarcastic or disappointed, ‘but that’s five tattoo parlours we’ve tried and no luck, how many others on your list?’
‘None, that’s all the dodgy ones I know of, I was sure one of them might have recognised the tattoo. My boss isn’t going to be pleased with me, I assured her I’d find out who that young woman was and you haven’t been much help either.’
‘Oh you want my help do you, then why didn’t you just ask like any sensible person would have done.’
‘And what is that supposed to mean, any sensible person. Are you saying that I’m not…’
‘Of course not my little dumpling, I would never in a million years suggest anything of the kind, but and there’s always a but, in this case maybe we should be looking somewhere that’s a bit out of the ordinary for your tattooist.’
‘And you would know of such a place Mister Smart Alec.’
‘Of course, so why don’t you just follow my directions like a good little girl and we’ll go and see my friend wee Tam who, if he didn’t do the tat then he’ll definitely know who did but I’ve got to warn you Tam’s a wee bit different from most people.’
‘Define different,’ said Jenny.
‘Eh, no, you’ll just have to wait and see, now turn left at the next set of traffic lights and keep going until the next ones and then turn left, then right again, then….’
‘Stop,’ she said as they approached the first set of lights, ‘who do you think I am, Mrs. Memory. Give me the directions as I need them and not all at once or we’ll end up arguing and then we’ll have a fall out we don’t want that, now do we.’
‘I suppose not, but the making up part might be quite interesting,’ he said as her naked fire-side image flashed into his empty mind.
Twenty five minutes later they were at their destination and Jenny wasn’t too impressed.
‘Is this it, it looks, I don’t know what it looks like to be honest.’
‘Looks can be deceiving, it’s better on the inside, trust me. Now get
out of the car slowly and don’t make any sudden moves.’
‘Oh come on James, what do you think this is, some sort of big bad gagster movie. What could possibly happen out here? We’re in the middle of nowhere.’
The Hounds of the Baskervilles aren’t dead was the first thing that Jenny thought of when they bounced onto the car bonnet and then stared intently at them through the windscreen before they started barking and drooling like two demented Tasmanian she-devils.
‘The one on the left is Lassie and the other one is her sister Nuggie or is it the other way round, it’s hard to tell. They look so alike, don’t you agree,’ James said calmly as he rolled down his window.
‘Hello girls,’ he continued as Jenny sat shaking, ‘is Tam about?’
‘You’re not expecting an answer from those two, are you?’
‘Get out slowly and don’t make any sudden moves and you’ll be okay but if you do something they don’t like they’ll tear you to shreds,’ James said with a stern and serious face.
Jenny did as he instructed and slithered out onto the tarmac of the junk yard like a snake and stood motionless as the two slevering teeth baring dogs eyed her like she was their next meal. Lassie was the first, as usual to react, while Nuggie watched and waited for any sudden movements Jenny might make before she decided she wasn’t a threat and then both dogs were all over her like a rash, licking her and excitedly jumping up and down as if they were both on pogo sticks.
‘I suppose you think that’s funny,’ she said when James appeared by her side.
‘Maybe, but not as funny as this,’ he replied nodding left in the direction of his friend Tam who had appeared as if by magic and was holding two big bowls of dog food.
‘Bucking fastards, Nassie, Luggie det gown. Hames jow yre aou moing dy lriend, fong nime to nee,’ Tam mumbled faster than the speed of light.
‘I’m doing great Tam, you’re looking good,’ said James, ‘this is my friend Jenny and we’re here to ask you if you know who might have done this tattoo. Jenny, show Tam the picture.’
Tam put the dog food down and in record time both bowls were empty, ‘Gow no lnd aie yown dou awo,’ and without a whimper between them the two elderly sisters lay down at James’ feet and licked each others faces.
Tam looked at the drawing and scratched his head before he answered and when he did Jenny still had no idea what he said.
‘Bry tig Balter Weatty lt iooks hike lis bork wut me’s hoved house,’ Tam said even faster than he did before.
‘Do you know where to?’ asked James as Jenny stood mesmerised and wondered how James could understand anything of what Tam was saying.
‘82 Rillow Woad, Kest Wilbride. Dis hoctor mold dim ne heeded aresh fir.’
‘Thanks Tam, we’ll be off then, you take care of yourself and I’ll see you soon. Give my regards to Molly. Jenny why don’t we get back in the car and I’ll translate for you while we drive,’ James said in a low whisper so not to offend Tam.
‘Where are we going now?’ asked Jenny as she settled behind the steering wheel.
‘We’re going to see Big Walter Beatty. Tam said it looked like one of his tattoos but he’s moved to a new house, 28, Willow Road, West Kilbride because his doctor said he needed fresh air. Didn’t you understand anything that Tam said, oh and he swore at the dogs and asked me how I was doing,’ James said as he made himself comfortable in the passenger seat.
‘What’s not to understand, I mean, not only does he talk complete gibberish but he mumbles faster than the speed of sound so I guess it must be something to do with me.’
‘Must be, because I understood every word he said. Now do you know how to get to West Kilbride because I don’t have a bloody clue where it is and before you ask neither does Tam.’
‘Just as well I’ve got sat-nav then isn’t it, what’s the postcode?’ asked Jenny as she rummaged in the glove box. ‘No idea, Tam didn’t mention postcode so I’m guessing he doesn’t know.’
‘That doesn’t surprise me in the slightest, the dogs would have a better idea and no you’re not going back to ask them.’
‘Oh that’s a wee bit harsh, are you suggesting that the dogs are more intelligent than my friend Tam?’
‘Yes I am but that’s only because they’re sisters which means they’re female and anyway they actually look intelligent where as Tam, well he looks like he’s permanently wired to the moon or some other equally distant planet and I’m pretty sure he’s part alien otherwise he wouldn’t look like that and talk the way he does.’
‘You should never ever judge the book by the cover. He looks like that because of the accident which is also the reason he speaks a wee bit different.’
‘Accident, what accident was that?’ asked Jenny when she’d finally found the sat-nav which was of no use to them now.
‘He was one of the lucky ones if you can call the way he is now lucky. He was nearly trampled to death at the Ibrox disaster years ago and he was told half his brain doesn’t work the way it should. He became pretty much a recluse after his wife and two young kids left him in the lurch because of the flashbacks he was getting. They just couldn’t take anymore but that’s another story, do you have a road map instead of that thing?’
‘The Ibrox disaster, what was that?’ asked Jenny as she started the car and drove away leaving Tam waving and the dogs barking.
‘Back in 1971 Rangers were at home to their bitter rivals Celtic and with the score at 0-0 it looked like a draw but in the 89th minute Celtic scored what everyone assumed was the winner so the Rangers fans started to leave the ground. As some of the Rangers fans made their way down staircase number thirteen Rangers scored in the 90th minute and the story goes that some of them tried to go back up the stairs but stumbled and were pushed backwards and were subsequently trampled causing mayhem and panic. The result was there were sixty six people killed and nearly a hundred and fifty injured, one of the survivors was Tam but he was so badly injured he was in a coma for weeks and weeks and when he came round he could hardly remember who his wife and his kids were and all the stress finally took its toll and she left taking the two boys with her and he’s never seen them since. The boys must be nearly forty by now.’
‘So if his wife and family left him then who’s Molly and how do you know him?’
‘Molly is his sister and she usually translates for any customers they might get and my big mate Dave met him in the pub just before the game and suggested they go together because it was his first old firm match and as he was on his own it seemed a good idea at the time but they got caught up in all that mess and if Dave hadn’t asked him to go with him then maybe he wouldn’t have been injured and he’d still have his family and all his friends.’
‘Was Dave hurt?’
‘Yes but he was lucky he only broke an arm.’
‘Which direction do we go in know clever dick it’s been over twenty minutes since we left Tam’s place,’ Jenny said changing the subject.
‘Go that way,’ he replied pointing right, ‘it must bring us to civilisation at some point, see I told you. That signpost says Kilmaurs ten miles so head for there and when we get there we’ll ask for directions to
West Kilbride, it can’t be too far away.’
‘Okay mastermind what happened to Kilmaurs, we’ve travelled ten miles and nothing but fields, black and white cows and the odd sheep, what do you suggest we do now?’ said the frustrated Jenny as she braked hard as if she was sitting her driving test, bringing them to a sudden halt.
‘Look there’s a wee cottage over there why don’t we stretch our legs and go and see if there’s anyone at home and if there is they can tell us how lost we are.’
Dr. Jekell opened the door and invited his two unexpected guests in. ‘No it’s okay, we’re in a bit of a hurry and hopelessly lost. Can you tell us how far we are from West Kilbride and how to get there,’ said James.
‘I’m sorry I’ve absolutely no idea but if you’ll wait a moment I’ll get my road map, back in a jiff.’
‘Here we are and here’s West Kilbride, it looks like you’re about eighteen miles short of your destination. From here take the second right at the bottom of the lane, follow the sign for Irvine then take the A737 and you go straight through Stevenston, Saltcoats and Ardrossan and by that time you’re onto the A738. Keep going and that leads onto the coast road and the next place you come to is Seamill and West Kilbride is just a short distance from there. Have you got that or do you want me to write it down for you?’ asked the doctor.
‘That would be great, if it’s no bother. While you’re doing that could I use your bathroom?’ asked James politely.
‘Of course you can, it’s just through there.’
‘Hello, I hope I’m not disturbing you, my friend and I are lost and your mate is writing down directions for us while I visit the toilet,’ said James to the old man who sat facing away from him listening to the radio.
The old man didn’t answer instead he pointed in the
direction of the bathroom and James said in a low whisper, ‘ignorant old shit,’ and hoped he didn’t hear him but of course the old one did and it was then he remembered where he’d heard his voice and it sent a shiver down his spine.
It was at that exact moment Laura-Anne chose to make her next unexpected appearance. Her nose and whiskers frantically twitched with excitement and she said, ‘You look frightened old man, do you know him?’
‘Fuck off you, you big fucking ugly rabbit, you’re not here, you’re a hallucination.’
‘No I’m not and don’t you dare swear at me, it’s not nice to swear at a lady and you know I’m here because you can see me and I’m not ugly.’
‘You’re not sitting looking at what I’m looking at,’ was the old mans quick and offensive sounding retort.
‘Look I’ve brought you a wee pressie,’ she said as she flicked on the green disposable lighter and set him on fire.
‘Why is the old man in the chair flapping about as if he is on fire? And does he often talk to himself?’ asked James when he rejoined Dr. Jekell and heartbreaker Jenny.
The doctor politely excused himself and peeked into the room and watched in dismay as Mr. Hide wildly patted both legs.
‘He’s having another episode, he’s not been himself recently, it’ll pass in a few moments and then he’ll be okay. There you are, all the instructions you’ll need to get you safely to West Kilbride, now if you’ll excuse me I really must go and calm Mr. Hide down.’
***
‘Mr. Hide your behaviour is getting more bizarre by the minute, what in the hell’s wrong with you?’
‘Nothing, except for…..’
‘Except for what?’
‘That man who just used the bathroom’
‘What about him,’ interrupted the doctor again.
‘What about him, I’ll tell you what about him if you’ll just give me a chance and stop interrupting.’
‘Okay, okay calm down and tell me what’s bothering you.’
‘The man who was just here is the same man I thought was you in the cellar and before you ask, yes I’m positive. I recognised his voice. Do you think he’s onto us?’
‘Well, first of all there wasn’t an us until yesterday so I think we’re okay on that front but then again he may have tried to find the cellar again and inadvertently stumbled upon us as we were moving but if he did then why wait until now to appear here and why bring that attractive young lady with him? I think it’s just a coincidence but I think I’ll follow them and see what they’re up to and who they’re going to see.’
‘You’re not leaving me here on my own again, I’m coming with you,’ said the old blind man as he looked around to see if the big rabbit was still about.
‘Mr. Hide, wouldn’t it be funny if the other one was called Dr. Jekell,’ Jenny mused as they reached their first turn off.
‘Oh, that would be hysterical,’ replied James as he shook his head
from side to side as Jenny turned left without thinking and James noticing.
‘Jenny were you paying attention to what that guy was telling us about which way we were to turn when we reached the bottom of the lane?’
‘Of course, he said turn right so I turned right.’
‘And the next place we were to come to was what?’
‘What do your instructions say it is.’
‘I know what it says but can you remember what he said?’
‘He said the next place we come is Irvine and don’t you dare raise your voice to me like that.’
‘Correct, well done, then why does that great bloody big sign that we just passed say Kilmarnock, three miles. Have a guess, go on I dare you, have a guess why it said Kilmarnock.’
James waited for her reaction and getting none he went on with his ranting, ‘It’s because like most women I’ve had the misfortune in my miserable fucking life to meet they don’t know their right from their left and you’re no different. YOU TURNED THE WRONG FUCKING WAY, YOU STUPID COW.’
Even with his seat belt on James almost hit the windscreen as Jenny once again slammed on the brakes and the car screeched to a halt sending grey smoke from the rear tyres into the fresh country air.
‘Get out,’ she said calmly, ‘just get out before I say and or do something you’ll be sorry for. It won’t take you too long to walk back home.’
It took James the best part of four hours of walking and thumbing to get back to the hospital and the most upsetting memory was of Jenny driving speedily away giving him the finger sign, twice.
‘I don’t see them anywhere Mr. Hide,’ said the doctor, ‘we’ve come through Irvine and the three towns and they’re nowhere in sight. They couldn’t have got that far ahead of us so maybe they got lost again. We’ll just have to go back home and hope we don’t see them again but if we do then we’ll have to deal with them in the appropriate manner.’
***
‘Hi Indy, I’m back, sorry I’ve been neglecting you, I promise it won’t happen again. I don’t know why I said that because I’ll be off soon to attend to that pig Tyrone. You smell extra nice to-day, I take it my wee friendly nurse has already been,’ said James as he plunked his behind in the bedside chair, quite exhausted. ‘I’m also sorry that I haven’t had time to delve deeper into the criminal mind like I promised but all that will change just shortly and I know you will like what I’ve got to tell you, anyway I’m off again to the canteen to get some nourishment before I attend to our Mr. Tyrone and I promise you this he’s not going to like it one little bit.’
James leaned over and this time he did kiss Indy’s brow, a slow and deliberate kiss as if she was his real daughter and it made him feel really, really good and in a lot of ways, proud.
Tyrone was of course awake and still sweating when James entered the boiler room eating the remnants of a hot dog and removed the oily rag from his captive’s mouth and before he could say anything James put his fingers to his lips and said, ‘Shush, it’s pointless even trying to scream, we’re far to deep in the bowls of the hospital for anyone to hear you, so save your energy because my friend and trust me when I say this, you’re going to need all the strength you can muster if you’re going to have the slightest chance of survival.’
James looked at panicking physiotherapist and thought to himself, ‘good, well done James, that gives him hope that he’ll actually walk away from here in one piece and you know that’s never going to be the case.’
‘How am a heer? asked Tyrone in a thick Glaswegian accent that completely took James by surprise.
‘How kum yoo kin tok Glesga,’ said James.
‘Coz a wiz born heer, yoo fukkin big ugly prik.’
‘Thers nae need fur swerin,’ was James’ quick reply before he slapped Tyrone around the head making the coloured man wince, ‘whare wuryae born.’
‘Cassilmulk, thats whare.’
‘Cassilmulk, that shitehole, dae theyno eet thare yung oot thare.’
‘Naw we fukkin dont.’
‘It’s not right to hear a Pakistani as black as you speaking my Glaswegian so from now on you’ll speak proper English, or else,’ said James as he felt another sharp sting in the side of his head, a sure sign of another impending brain ache.
‘Okay, I can do that, if it makes you happy,’ was Tyrone sarcastic reply, which resulted in another even harder slap which loosened two of his not so white front teeth and blood slowly seeped from his upper gum line, ‘and I’m not Pakistani.’
‘What are you then and be very careful with your answer, no more sarcasm.’
‘I’m, if you must know, am West Indian and proud of it.’
‘Are you also proud of being a child molester and rapist?’
‘What do you mean by that? I’ve never molested anyone in my life.’
The third slap, an even harder backhanded one, knocked out the loose teeth and sent him flying backwards knocking the wind out of him when he’d hit the floor making him gasp for breath. James put his right foot on his prostrate victims’ chest and stood upright and stayed there until he heard his ribcage crack under his weight and it made him feel good, real good. James untied him from the chair and bound his hands together and suspended him from a thick metal coat hook high enough that his feet didn’t touch the ground and said, ‘I saw you giving Indy her physiotherapy earlier and it made me sick to my stomach. I was in the bathroom and by the way I’m her friend James, you know the one Nurse Murphy said that you’d know me when you saw me or weren’t you paying attention when she told you that. I feel I have to tell you this because I think it’s only fair that you know who exactly I am. Firstly I’m your worst fucking nightmare for reasons I won’t go into but take it from me I am and when I get excited, like I am now, I become one of the most violent men in this unforgiving fucking world that we both find ourselves in. Secondly I’m going to take the utmost pleasure in torturing you before I send you off to the great black hunting ground in the sky, in other words Black Boy, YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD and when you’re dead or maybe even before you’re dead I’m going to make it look like that Blue Flame guy that’s been in the papers did it, how does that grab you, proud Black Boy? Now up you get and we’ll get on with it. I bet you’re wondering how I’m going to blame someone else for your demise, well it’s really quite simple. This is all your doing because you left your fags and this lovely wee lighter behind in Indy’s bathroom when Nurse Murphy was hounding you to get out because she was expecting me at any moment but unbeknown to anyone I was already in there and when you came in I just popped into the shower and watched you,’ said Tyrone’s tormentor who took a deep breath, flicked on what was to become the giver of extreme pain, and went on, ‘and it’s such a powerful wee lighter for it’s size, if you’ll excuse the pun, don’t you think? The only problem I have now is where to start, I know, how’s about I get you stark naked and then we’ll see where to go next. There that’s better, isn’t it? I take it from your head shaking it’s not, well tough fucking luck pal and stop mumbling. Well well, what do we have here or in your case what don’t we have here. I thought every proud Black Boy had a big dick but that’s not in your case is it, Tiny. I would attempt to heat it up a little to see if it grows but the last time I did that the one in question sort of just shrivelled away so I think I’ll forgo that idea and do this instead. Ooh that had to hurt and look it worked or is it that swollen because I kicked it so hard; sorry about that but it seemed a good idea at the time. Anyway, now that I have all your undivided attention we’ll continue. You know something Tyrone I could easily get used to the smell of burning pubic hair although I don’t suppose the same could be said for you but I understand that because it’s you that’s on fire and not me. Why are you biting your tongue? Oh it hurts but so, I would have thought, does biting your tongue. Still it’s your prerogative; you deal with the pain as best you can. Oops the fire’s gone out, there that’s better, now you look like a giant matchstick, were you overly fond of that outdated afro hair style? I hope not because you don’t have it now but being almost bald does suit you, trust me it does. Why are your lovely big brown eyes bulging like that? Does that mean your head hurts, I do hope so because that was my intention and I must say those big blisters on top and that extra swollen thing in your mouth make you look like Jabba the Hut from the Star Wars film albeit a black version but quite passable just the same. Oh I don’t like the looks of those, there that’s better, I never did care for nasal or ear hair they look so unmanly, don’t you agree? No I suppose you wouldn’t, given the circumstances but if they were different I’m sure you would. Now I bet you can smell and hear something burning, you can, good for you. That’s because I was a wee bit sneaky. While you were coming to terms with the hair loss from your big nose and ears I set fire to your prick and balls and you should just about now feel the excruciating pain that…..oh dear now look what you’ve done, how will you be able to answer my questions now because I was going to ask you if you were molested when you were young or were you born a sick fucker but now I’ll never know. Stop mumbling, I can’t make out a word you’re saying. Anyway I’ll need to go and asked Indy if there’s anything else she would like me to do before we say our goodbyes so don’t go away, I’ll be back, as Big Terminator Arnie used to say, I’ll be back.’
James sat quite still beside Indy and wondered if she would have approved of what he’d just done and decided absolutely not. She was probably the kind of person he wasn’t, a gentle and forgiving human being with not a care in the world who maybe thought that everyone deserved a second chance in life, but he didn’t. James’ way of thinking was that if anyone did something bad to him or one of his friends then they paid the price and in this case the price was very, very high and there was no going back and Tyrone had overstepped the mark by a very, very long way. As he sat with her small coloured hand in his all he could think of was the scene he’d witnessed earlier and how he’d frozen and he felt really ashamed of himself for not acting immediately and it was at that point he realised that both his cheeks were extremely wet. Suddenly he felt extremely exhausted and mumbled a feeble made up excuse and left Indy with only her machines for comfort and ran faster than he’d done in many years back to the what he’d thought was the safety of his own room where he belly flopped onto his bed and cried his eyes out like he’d done so many, many times in the past but this time was different because when he eventually fell asleep he delved back into the darkness and dreamt it was he who had been in Tyrone’s place in Indy’s room and when he was done dreaming he’d felt sickeningly elated and sticky but not ashamed.
His new blue gizmo was bleeping when he got out of the shower and it took him ages and ages to figure out how to get to the text message left by Jenny which read, ‘I hope uve got a bludy good excuse for not ansering. I need 2 c u urg. Fone me now J.’
It took him more than a few minutes to decipher what it actually meant and he said out loud, ‘Fucking hell hen, you really should learn to spell.’
He of course didn’t do as she had demanded instead he continued his conversation still talking at his wee ‘phone, ‘You’ve got two chances of that happening and the first ones, you’ve got no fucking chance, not after what you did to me earlier.’
He left it lying on his pillow and went back to see if his new plaything was still alive and was more than pleasantly surprised to find he was indeed still breathing, albeit very shallowly.
As James didn’t have, and even if he did he new he wouldn’t, any water to throw at his hanging victim to get his undivided attention he unzipped and pished all over the parts he could reach and as he was quite well endowed he was rather proud of himself that he’d pretty much soaked all of Tyrone in the pungent aroma of urine but it didn’t awaken him. It took another few slaps to do that and when he did James once again took out his fury and his dream on the hanging charred nakedness that once was a human being before he watched him slowly bleed to death and hoped he was sending him to the darkest of dark places where he had no doubt they would meet again.
James then took more than few extra deep breathes to compose himself, folded his arms across his chest, tilted his head to one side and then as if Tyrone could hear him said, ‘What in the fuck do I do with you now black boy? I can’t leave you hanging about like a bad smell that would never do, now would it? You see big man the problem I have is how to get you out of here to where I want to take you without getting caught and I know what you’re thinking, that is if you could still think that is and I know you can’t but just the same if you could you would have thought why didn’t you have more of a plan to get rid of my remains instead of it being the problem it is now. You didn’t think this all the way through, now did you? And I would have to agree with you on that score black boy so I’ll tell you what, why don’t I leave you here meantime and I’ll go and get something to eat and have a wee think and come back later, so don’t go anywhere. Oh how remiss of me, you can’t go anywhere can you because you’re already fucking dead, aren’t you. Anyway I’ll pop back in later and I’ll tell you where we’re going to go, not that it’ll make the slightest difference to you, now will it?’
James locked the door and left feeling extremely happy with himself and absolutely starving and decided to treat himself to a big fry-up where he and Beth had met Jenny earlier and bugger the consequences.
As he waited for what he knew was the diarrhoea giving plateful to arrive he thought kindly of the very sexy policewoman who had abandoned him on the outskirts of Kilmarnock and decided to forgive her and as soon as he was finished he would give her a call.
***
‘Hi boss, do you have a minute?’ The Two Ronnies said in unison when they’d entered Catherine’s office without knocking.
‘I wish you two wouldn’t do that, it’s very, very annoying,’ she answered.
‘What, talking at the same time,’ they said.
‘No, coming in without knocking first, I might have been doing something important,’ she replied sarcastically, ‘of course that’s what I meant. Do you two have any idea how utterly stupid you two sound? I take it that the silence means you don’t have a bloody clue what I’m talking about, do you? Okay never mind what do you want?’
‘We’ve identify’ they began.
‘Stop right now. Weren’t you two numbskulls listening to a word I just said, what part of sounding utterly stupid didn’t either of you understand or do I have to put it in writing?’
‘No boss I don’t think there’s any need to go as far as that,’ said Ronnie Clark, ‘but we have identified the wee girl from the fire. Her name is Samantha Milner and,’ and he waited for the other Ronnie to chip in but
he didn’t, ‘and she’s from Edinburgh and,’