Broken
Book One: Siblings with Benefits
By
Laura Lovecraft
Smashwords Edition Copyright © 2011 by Laura Lovecraft
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Part One
1987
Chapter One
I glanced at the clock on the wall and, rolled my eyes, how the hell was it only one thirty? Then again, the entire day had dragged, so it only made sense that last period would be the slowest. As Mr. Higgins droned on and on about how in two weeks we were all going to graduate and enter the ‘real world’, I gave up all pretense of paying attention, and glanced over to my left to stare out the window. As if it were taunting me I could see the 1984 Celica that Mom and dad had given me for my 18th birthday parked just under the classroom window.
With a heavy sigh I looked down at my desk where I had a sketchpad out and had drawn a ghoulish looking demon holding a liquor bottle up by a string. The bottle was being held just out of the reach of a man who was straining to grab it, a look of desperation on his face. I frowned, and reversing the pencil, erased part of the face and drew it over. I had just finished signing the bottom ‘Megan Hanson’ when I heard a voice whisper, “What is it?”
I turned to see my best friend Lisa looking over from her desk next to me. I tilted the pad so that she could see it. Lisa shook her head and, rolling her eyes, whispered, “You’re sick”.
I smiled at her and shrugged. If she thought the sketch was sick I wonder what she would think once it was done on canvas in vivid color. Besides, apparently there was a market for ‘sick’, as my portfolio of paintings such as these had not only gotten me into the Rhode Island School of Design, but a scholarship covering half the tuition.
Of course as my father, who was on the hook for the other half kept reminding me, it could have been a full scholarship had my grades been better. Not that I was failing, but the couple of Cs I got along with mostly Bs wasn’t enough to get an academic scholarship. I knew damn well that if I had spent more time studying I could have made those grades, but I just wasn’t that into classes. I had talent and I thought that was more than enough. You don’t have to know where a comma goes or speak Spanish to know how to paint.
All of my work was dark and, although it certainly only appealed to some people, no one could deny my ability. I was also confident that those who liked it would have no problem throwing plenty of money my way. More than enough money to not only pay Mom and dad back every cent of the tuition but someday completely take care of them just as they had done for me since adopting me at the age of 11.
I was startled out of my daydreaming, case in point why my grades were what they were, by a piece of folded up paper landing in front of me. Glancing up to see if Mr. Higgins was still the only one engrossed in whatever the hell he was talking about, I unfolded the paper Lisa had tossed over;
“Still need me to cover so you can go with Rob?”
Turning to look at her, I flashed a huge smile, and nodded. Lisa smiled back and mouthed ‘bad girl’. I quickly scribbled ‘If he’s lucky!’ and showed it to her. Lisa winked at me and turned back to face the front of the class. I did as well but, although I was now at least looking as if I was paying attention, my mind once again turned to much better thoughts; nasty thoughts. Rob Butler was my boyfriend of the last six months and the reason that today was dragging ass more that it usually did. Rob was a student at RISD I’d met at an open house there six months ago. He was my tour guide. Rob was talented, good looking and 21 with his own apartment.
The latter two things were why I had Lisa covering for me. My mother, who I kept nothing from—well nothing really important anyways—knew about Rob, including how old he was and also that as of a couple of months ago I was sleeping with him. Dad on the other hand was the typical overprotective father, and I’m sure, somewhere in his mind, wanted to still believe his little girl was a virgin. Well, more accurately put, not sleeping with anyone as my virginity had been forcibly taken from me years ago by…
I closed my eyes and forcibly shoved that image from my mind. That was the past, it was a bleak one, but my present was wonderful and my future even brighter. No, there would be no bad thoughts today, only sexy ones. I had initially been nervous about dating Rob since being older I assumed that he would be ‘fast’ so to speak—not willing to wait for sex. Because of what had happened to me as a young girl, I still had some issues with sex—that is until today I told myself, today there would be no issues only hot sex, the kind I’d fantasized about for months now.
Rob however, had pleasantly surprised me by not only being sweet, but also very patient and understanding. After we had gotten pretty hot and heavy on his couch one night, to the point that I had been thinking that this would be the night I would give in to him, I had gotten nervous. He had felt me tense up and begin backing off, and had asked if I hadn’t done it yet. I told him I had but with only one other guy a few months ago and just been a couple of times. I was embarrassed thinking here we go again. The first guy I’d had sex with left me because I was nervous every time we did it. After that, I’d let two other guys get close to me, but I’d literally panicked with both of them, and it had once been ugly. That had led to comments through school that I had ‘issues’ and guys should stay away from me.
Taking a chance that, since he was older, maybe he would understand I had told Rob, without getting into any gory details that I had been hurt as a child. I said that, even though I wanted it, I sometimes got nervous during sex. I had half expected Rob to take me home and never call again, but to my delight he said he understood and it was no big deal. We could take our time. He said I was pretty and interesting and he was sure I would be more than worth the wait. Part of me had wondered if he really meant it or if it was a line. The fact he had said it, and we had spent the rest of the day cuddled up on the couch watching movies led me to give it a try next time around.
It hadn’t gone terrible but sure as hell could have been a lot more fun. I had planned on letting him have me, and had been worked up all day, playing with myself twice, before going to his place that night. Rob was sweet and gentle and took his time. I had felt good, especially when he got me off with his fingers inside me, so good I made my first attempt at giving head. I found I had quite a knack for it. After only a couple of minutes I got my first taste of cum in my mouth. I was beside myself; not only at how good it felt when he made me cum, but also that I had pleased him. We played around a little more and he was hard again in no time.
Rob slid on top of me and went inside. Like everything he had done, he went slow and easy. He was bigger than my earlier lover and it hurt a little, but after a couple of minutes it felt damn good and I was really enjoying it. That lasted about five minutes, until he leaned over, and pressing down into me, whispered my name in my ear. It wasn’t Rob’s voice I heard say my name. Although I knew I was imagining things, I immediately pushed up against him and told him to stop. He hesitated, probably only a couple of seconds, but it was enough to scare me and I yelled at him to get off of me.
Rob had instantly backed off and, after I pulled the sheet up over myself and cried like a baby, put his arm around me and said it was okay. He even asked if I wanted to have someone come get me. I had calmed down and felt like a bitch but once again Rob said don’t we could try again another time. He had even made me smile, joking that he had been embarrassed himself, with how fast he came when I went down on him. Since then we’d tried a few more times. The sex hadn’t been bad, but every time at some point I froze up. Not so bad that Rob couldn’t finish, but it’s no fun when you’re lying there wishing it was over. Rob always noticed, and lately had started asking if I thought I would ever get over it. I knew this would mean the end and I really liked him so I resorted to talking to mom about it a few nights ago.
Mom, as always, had been good about it, not taking the ‘you shouldn’t be having sex at all’ stance. In fact I think mom was relieved that I was trying, not still as afraid of men as I’d been when I came to live with them seven years ago. Mom talked about relaxing and letting everything just happen; to not expect the worst, but to think about how, if I really liked Rob, I should know he wouldn’t hurt me. So yesterday when Rob had asked me if I wanted to do something after school today I immediately said yes. Since then my thoughts had been on nothing but the hot sex we were going to have and my pussy had been dripping nonstop. It got so bad today that I had slipped out to my car and played with myself at lunch to take the edge off.
The fact that I was meeting Rob at Lisa’s right after school was keeping me hot. I had dressed to kill and felt sexy as hell. Although I wouldn’t say I’m a tomboy, I do usually favor jeans and t-shirts, at least for school, but not today. Today I was wearing an extremely short black mini skirt that showed off my long legs and a tight red tank top that flattered my small but high perky tits quite well. I had teased out my long curly black hair and was not only wearing makeup, but had also painted my nails and toes in deep red. The ensemble was completed by a pair of red heeled sandals, and smoking hot lingerie underneath.
The best thing about not dressing up like this all the time was the guys hadn’t seen me like this and I’d been getting hungry looks from guys all day long. I could feel Billy Teague who was to my left, staring at me. I turned my head quickly, and sure enough, he was staring at my legs. I decided to give him a thrill and stretching my legs straight out, pointed my toes downward, causing the muscles in my calves to bunch and make my legs look even sexier. At 5’8” and after three years of dance lessons those legs were definitely my best feature, well from the neck down anyway. What everyone, guys and girls alike, commented on were my extremely light, all but transparent, ice blue eyes. A close second to those eyes was a pair of very full lips that were capable of spreading into a huge smile that was slightly crooked and never failed to make people smile back.
The bell startled me out of my daydreaming and I all but jumped out of my chair in my hurry to get the hell out of school. Finals had been last week and all we were doing was killing time for the last couple of weeks so not needing to stop at my locker, I left the school and waited impatiently for Lisa at my car. Even though mom knew about Rob, dad didn’t and mom, for now, was okay with not saying anything. I was going to take Lisa home and leave my car in the driveway there and go in his car to his place. I was so sure that today was going to be perfect that I had wanted to spend the night, something I hadn’t done before, but mom said they needed me home tonight because they had a surprise for me. I was disappointed about not sleeping over at Rob’s, but I was going to get hot sex and something from my parents. My last surprise was the car. I couldn’t imagine what could be better, but mom had said it was huge and I was going to be thrilled.
I reached in and beeped the horn when I saw Lisa stop to talk to a couple of guys. Unlike me Lisa dressed hot every day and got more than her share of attention. She constantly told me her hot sex stories. Well after tonight I’d have a few of my own that was for sure.
Lisa glanced my way but kept talking until her younger sister Krissy came out, and grabbing her by the arm, started to lead her away. I frowned as I watched one of the guys say something to Krissy and saw her blush and put her head down as the guys laughed. The polar opposite of her, well pretty much slutty sister, who was tall, thin and blond, Krissy was shorter, with dirty blond hair and a little on the chubby side. Also unlike Lisa, Krissy dressed like a tomboy in baggy unflattering clothes, and was almost painfully shy. I have no doubt the guy had made some type of lewd remark to her and was pissed, especially at Lisa who was laughing. I shook my head and thought not for the first time that it was too bad I didn’t know anyone that Krissy would like.
I found myself thinking that I actually had a brother Krissy’s age named Mark. I hadn’t seen my brother since the day our sorry excuse for a mother had dropped us off to the social worker like dogs at a pound. Mark was two years younger than me and we were supposed to only be in separated for a few days then be placed together; I haven’t seen him since that day. Forgetting about Lisa I wondered for the thousandth time about my brother. Where he was, what he looked like, and most importantly, was he okay. I’d ended up in a hellish foster home for close to two years before DCYF had taken me out of there. Six months later mom and dad had taken me in.
Mom and Dad had tried several times to find out about my brother, even going so far as to contact my birth mother who now lived in Arizona. “Julia”—as I would never call her mom—was as useless now as she was then and said she had no idea what had happened to either of us. Mom had asked me if I wanted to talk to Julia and I had refused; why should I care about someone who didn’t care about me? Long story short, the social workers couldn’t seem to find a record of a Mark Decosta. Dad had said that maybe someday Mark would try to find me. Of course my last name was now Hanson so who knew whether, even if he wanted to, Mark could find me. The best I could do was hope that he had gone to a nice place and was right now enjoying as good a life as I was.
Those thoughts were mercifully cut off by Krissy walking past me to get into the back seat. She looked upset so I asked her what was wrong. Krissy blushed and told me one of the guys said that she should stop wearing baggy shirts because she looked like she had a nice rack and maybe she would get a date if she showed them. I told Krissy to ignore them that they were assholes, and she was fine just the way she was. Any guy that would want to date her for her tits wasn’t worth it. I got her to laugh by saying the guy was right she did have a big chest, and I was jealous, because if I had hers I would be flaunting them all over the place. Krissy laughed and got into the back seat as Lisa finally showed up.
I gave her a dirty look, and as I passed her whispered that she shouldn’t let those pricks pick on her sister. Lisa asked what my problem was and I just shook my head. Lisa didn’t get the fact that she should be sticking up for, not laughing at Krissy. Even though it was a long time ago, I could still remember always trying to take care of Mark when mom was drunk and had asshole men in the house. I would always let him in my room when he was scared and even let him sleep in my bed. In the end of course I couldn’t do much and things had not been good for us. I would give anything to still have my brother around to be good to and here Lisa was treating her sweet little sister like crap.
As I got into the car I made myself let it go and got back to thinking about the incredible time I was about to have with Rob. Best thing about it was Rob wasn’t going to know what hit him. So far I had been acting shy and nervous, well no act really, but today it wasn’t going to be Megan that Rob was going to be playing with. It would be that nasty girl inside me, the one that fantasized constantly about sex, everything from blowjobs and getting my pussy licked, to being taken in every position I could think of. That girl was going to come out, I would make sure of it, no more little kid stuff. I was going to be all woman. Pulling out of the parking lot thinking about what a perfect day it was going to be, I sighed happily
Chapter Two
I drove home from Lisa’s house, wiping my eyes, trying desperately to be able to see through the tears that kept welling up. It had happened again, and this time worse than ever. Coming up to a red light I put my head on the steering wheel and let out a loud sob. I wondered what the hell was wrong with me. Even though it happened less than an hour ago I was replaying the scene at Rob’s house in my head trying to figure out how a hot time had ended with me in tears and without Rob.
Everything had started out as planned, even better. I’d been waiting on Lisa’s porch when Rob had pulled up in the 1980 Trans Am he’d bought last summer. Rob got out of the car and come around to hold open the door for me. I walked slowly towards him putting a little extra swing into my hips and giving him plenty of time to check me out. To my delight Rob was doing just that and I could feel myself begin to get even wetter when I saw the look of hunger in his eyes as his gaze worked its way up my long legs.
Rob gave me a hug and a quick kiss before I got into the car and whispered in my ear how damn hot I looked. When we pulled away from Lisa’s house Rob glanced over at me and asked if I wanted to grab some food and maybe go see a movie. I looked at Rob, who with his sandy brown hair, hazel eyes, and quick easy smile, had an adorable boy next door look about him and smiled. Leaning over I dropped my hand directly into his crotch, and giving his cock a squeeze through his jeans, told him that the only thing I wanted to grab was him. The look on Rob’s face was priceless and we both laughed as he exclaimed, “My place it is!”
When we arrived at his small three room apartment in federal hill, Rob had barely closed the door behind us when I stepped in and wrapping my arms around his shoulders drew him into a deep passionate kiss. Rob grunted in surprise as I immediately pushed my tongue into his mouth to caress his. In the past I had always been meek, letting Rob make the first move, but not today. I slid my hands from his shoulders down to tug on the bottom of his t-shirt. Rob broke the kiss and raising his arms let me take his shirt off. I cooed with pleasure. After tossing the shirt aside, I rubbed my hands down his lean hard chest and across his flat stomach.
Rob started to reach for me, but I stepped back and with a wink quickly stripped my own shirt off exposing the very flimsy black lace bra I had bought at Frederick’s last night. The cups of the bra were lace and my hard pink nipples were quite visible through the material. Rob whispered;
“Oh Goddamn.”
Before he could get out more, I stepped in, and drew him into another hard kiss. Rob wrapped his arms around my slim waist and while our tongues played across each other’s, crushed me hard up against him. I moaned into his mouth as I felt my nipples pressing into his chest through the bra. I could feel his cock pushing against my stomach through the shorts he was wearing. Rob’s lips left mine and slid down to the soft flesh of my neck. I leaned my head back and moaned loudly, not only enjoying his hot mouth on my skin but the way my long hair felt across my back and his strong hands on my hips. Everything felt amazing just as it should.
Rob’s hands left my waist, and sliding down, went under my skirt and up my outer thighs. I shuddered as his lips slid down my neck and started kissing the tops of my tits, just over the bra. Rob’s hands started to slide to my inner thighs and I pulled away, not wanting him to find the other surprise I had in store for him. I wanted to show it to him myself. Rob reached out to grab me, but I backed away and putting my hand on his chest to stop him, turned my back to him. Wishing I could see the look on his face, I reached back, unzipped my skirt and, after letting it fall to the floor slowly bent over to give him not only a great view of my tight little ass, but to see that the black panties I was wearing were crotch-less. That’s right, this nasty girl had walked around school all day with her pussy not only bare but, most of the day, soaking wet.
“Oh my God Megan.” Rob had said softly behind me.
I was going to ask him if he liked the view but all that came out was a surprised squeal as Rob had dropped to his knees behind me, and with no hesitation had grabbed my hips and plunged his tongue into my pussy. I felt a split second of fear as he grabbed my hips but instantly pushed it aside. There was nothing to be afraid of nothing at all. I leaned forward bracing my hand on the wall as Rob’s tongue flicked across my swollen clit causing my legs to start to shake. As much as I was enjoying it, however, I wanted to be the one surprising him today and standing up walked away from him.
Rob made a disappointed noise, but that turned into a laugh as I turned back to him, made a follow me gesture and sauntered slowly over to the couch, letting him take in my ass and legs. I stood in front of the couch and when Rob came over I gave him a playful push causing him to sit down. Standing directly in front of him, I reached back and after unhooking my bra, slid the straps from my shoulders then holding the bra to my tits asked Rob what he wanted. Rob laughed and told me I knew what he wanted but with a giggle I asked him to say please. Rob smiled which made me smile; I was having so much fun! What the hell had taken me so long? Rob reached out and taking one of my hands looked up at me and asked if he could please see my beautiful tits. I hesitated but when he threw in “pretty please” I laughed and dropped the bra to the floor.
Raising my arms over my head I let Rob take in my body which was now bare except for the panties and heels both of which I planned on leaving on. I did a slow turn for him then, facing him once again, stepped up and pushed him back into the couch. Putting one knee up on the couch I leaned forward and shoved my left tit into his mouth. Rob didn’t mind and I moaned as he eagerly sucked on my nipple and his hand grabbed my right tit and began fondling it. I let out a sigh of pleasure and started sliding my tits back and forth in front of him, moaning every time his tongue caught one of my nipples. I squealed again as Rob slid his hand between my legs and slipped a finger into my soaking wet pussy. I moaned and started rocking back and forth against his pumping finger as his mouth latched onto my right tit.
I enjoyed that for as long as I dared already feeling as if I were going to cum, but had decided I wanted Rob to cum first. After all he had been patiently awaiting this kind of fun. Pulling myself away, I dropped down onto my knees between Rob’s legs. Rob went to unzip his pants but I playfully slapped his hands away telling him to “Allow me”. I quickly undid his shorts and pulled them down, slipping them as well as his shoes off and tossing them on the floor. I came back up and leaning over his lap, bent my head down, and with no hesitation, took his cock deep into my mouth. Rob moaned and so did I. I really was amazed at how good having Rob’s hard cock in my mouth felt. I started to bob my head, slowly at first then gaining speed and each time taking his cock further into my mouth until I had him so deep my lips were touching the base of his shaft.
I had heard a lot of girls in school talk about how hard it was too deep throat, but either there was something different about my throat or I was just a natural because I had Rob all the way down easily and he loved every minute of it. I had planned on licking and teasing but, now that I was there, couldn’t help but suck even harder and faster wanting to show Rob how much I wanted to please him. Rob reached down and after gently caressing my face went to put his hand on my head but stopped. A couple of our previous awkward experiences had taught Rob to be cautious about where and how he touched me; however there was going to be no problems with that.
Grabbing his wrist, I placed his hand on my head, where he began running his fingers through my hair as I blew him. As I blew him! The thought repeated itself in my mind as my pussy began to drip to the point I could feel it on my thighs. Look at you Megan, I thought, on your knees all but naked and sucking your boyfriends cock. Oh you nasty girl! I wanted to laugh I felt so good, but instead what came out was a deep moan in my throat as I felt Rob’s legs begin to tremble and he started to push gently on my head, urging me to suck even faster. Well this bad girl didn’t need to be told twice and, in addition to sucking even harder I grabbed the base of his cock and started jerking him off.
Rob let out a long loud moan and a second later his cock exploded in my mouth sending a huge spurt of hot thick cum down my throat. I moaned and continued to suck as Rob’s cock emptied itself into my more than willing mouth. I sucked the last drops from Rob’s twitching cock then sitting back on my knees smiled up at him and asked if he enjoyed that. Rob sighed and told me that I gave one hell of a blow job. I told him he said the sweetest things and then giving him my best little girl pout asked him if it was my turn.
Rob stood up and pulled me up by my hands. Then surprised me by sweeping his arm underneath my legs, grabbing my waist he lifted me in his strong arms and carried me to his bed. He gently put me on his bed and walked over to the foot of it. I smiled and slowly spread my legs open for him, showing off my shaved and completely smooth pussy. Rob let out a breath as he stared at my pink pussy and, crawling up on the bed, on his stomach eagerly began to lick and suck on my swollen clit.
For the next few minutes I lay there sighing and moaning as Rob slid two fingers inside my pussy and slowly pumped them in and out while his tongue teased and sucked around my clit. I closed my eyes and started gently rocking my hips into his fingers and tongue thinking that this was just what I had wanted. As Rob started sucking harder on my clit I began playing with my nipples lightly teasing them with my fingernails. Rob stopped licking long enough to tell me how fucking hot that looked then went back to my pussy with a vengeance. I gasped and jerked my hips up off the bed, arching my back as far as I could and let out an extremely loud squeal as the best orgasm I had ever felt crashed through me. I bucked and squealed as Rob continued to finger and lick my pussy then, after a long shuddering moan, collapsed into the bed panting.
Rob slid up to his knees and I saw he was hard again. Leaning over to his nightstand Rob removed a condom from the drawer. I told him to forget it, that I was on the pill and wanted to feel him inside of me. This was a lie of course, fact is I couldn’t get pregnant if I wanted to, but there was no need to have that conversation. Rob hesitated and I wondered if he believed me. Then with a smile he crawled up between my legs and with one smooth thrust slipped his cock deep inside my soaking wet pussy.
I moaned, and wrapping my arms around Rob’s shoulders, pulled him down to kiss me. He slid his arms underneath me so that we were as close as we could get and began kissing my neck as he slowly pumped me. I let out a long contented sigh as my hips started rocking against his pushing him in even deeper. It felt incredible, I was so relaxed, no worries, just enjoying every minute of this amazing time. After a few minutes I decided that Rob didn’t have to keep going easy. This nasty girl was ready for more, ready to get it harder and faster than she ever had.
I told Rob to sit up on his knees. Rob asked if I was okay, a nervous look on his face and I told him I was more than okay I just wanted him to move so he could fuck me harder. With an ear to ear grin, Rob sat back as I had said. Taking my legs, I put my calves up on his shoulders and slid down, so that the backs of my legs were up against his chest. Rob wrapped his arms around my thighs and sliding back inside of me started fucking me hard and fast. I squealed as his cock plunged into me. When Rob went to stop, told him to keep fucking me. I lay there letting out a series of sharp yelps as Rob resumed fucking the shit out of me.
Ohhh this is so what I needed, what I had dreamt of and masturbated to! Rob asked me if I was loving it, and I told him hell yeah. With a smile Rob said he knew something else I would love. That’s when things went bad. Brushing my legs off of his shoulders Rob reached down and grabbing my hips told me to roll over. As soon as he said it I felt that all too familiar twinge in my stomach. Opening my eyes I shook my head not trusting my voice to say no. Rob either thought I was playing or wasn’t paying attention, because he told me to roll over again and before I could respond twisted me hard and rolled me over onto my stomach.
The second he did it I panicked. I tried to yell for him to stop but my face was in the pillow. I tried to try to sit up but Rob placed his hand on my back and told me to just stay still.
Stay still you little bitch!
I could hear that voice in my head as clear as if it were in my ear the way it had been years ago. I drew my legs up under me and tried to crawl forwards. Rob grabbed my hips and started to pull me back.
I said get your ass back here!
The words were slurred from alcohol and I swear I could smell beer. I screamed and kicked out with my left leg as hard as I could. I felt my foot connect and Rob cried out. There was a loud thud and as I instantly turned over into a sitting position I saw Rob on the floor clutching his shoulder. There was blood flowing down his arm where the heel of my sandal had slammed into him. I pulled the covers up to my chin and immediately started sobbing. Rob sat on the floor stunned for a minute, then getting up tried to put his arm around me, I slapped at his hand and yelled at him not to touch me. I couldn’t calm down and continued to cry. Rob simply sat on the edge of the bed, holding a pillowcase to his arm and watching me, unsure of what to do.
After a couple of minutes I started to calm down and Rob got up and left the room. When he came back he was dressed and had my clothes with him along with a glass of water. Wordlessly he put my clothes on the bed next to me and left the water on the nightstand. I stopped crying and after drinking the water got up and got dressed. I felt dirty and humiliated, and was in shock because I had hurt Rob. I hadn’t even known I was going to kick like that it had just happened. I sat on the bed for a couple of minutes afraid to go out and face Rob. I knew what was coming.
I was right of course, when I came out of the room; Rob was sitting on the couch looking nervous. He asked if I was okay and I told him I was better now and that I was sorry. I started to say more but Rob put his hand up and simply said he couldn’t handle this anymore. As I stood there with my head down trying not to cry Rob said he felt bad because he really liked me. He said I was beautiful and sweet and he had tried to make it work but I had serious issues and he had no desire to make them his issues. He was twenty one years old and wanted sex not drama.
I remained quiet as he spoke and when he was done I told him I was sorry and I would call my mother to come take me back to Lisa’s. Rob told me that he would give me a ride back to my car and I reluctantly took him up on it. Calling mom would have been a problem. She would want the whole story and make me go back to the councilor I had finally convinced them I no longer needed. The ride back to the car was a silent one. I simply stared out the window trying to hold back tears of shame and frustration and Rob kept his eyes on the road and the radio blasting so I couldn’t talk if I wanted. When we got to Lisa’s I started to get out when Rob caught my hand and told me he really was sorry and that I should get help.
The beeping of a horn behind me startled me back to the present and I saw that the light had changed. I arrived home a few minutes later and, pulling into the driveway sat in the car and took several deep breaths, trying to calm myself before I went in. When I finally came through the back door into the kitchen, Mom was there as always reading the paper, with the small TV on the counter playing in the background, while dinner was in the oven. As soon as I came in Mom looked up with a big smile on her face which instantly turned to a frown when she saw me.
Mom asked what was wrong. I tried to say nothing but started to cry. Mom got up and after giving me a huge hug, that I gladly returned, told me to sit and tell her what had happened. I sighed and, leaving out all the x-rated details, told her that I’d been with Rob and that I had ‘locked’ up again as I put it and Rob had decided he’d had enough. Of course not knowing the entire story Mom blamed saying that if he couldn’t understand then screw him. I told her it wasn’t him, it was me. Just like it had been me with any other guys I had dated.
I started sobbing and asked Mom what was wrong with me. Why couldn’t I be okay with guys, all I wanted to do was be good to someone and have them be good to me. Mom put her arm around me and told me that I would meet the right guy someday and that they would understand me. Caught up in feeling sorry for myself I told mom that no guy would want to be with a freak like me. Mom had a flash of anger and said never talk like that. Then she started playing with my hair the way she had done since I had come to live there with her, and told me that I was an amazing young woman. I was pretty and talented with a great heart and a lot of love to give, unfortunately I had been through some bad things and deep down inside I was a little broken. Mom said that the right guy would have no problem understanding that and would be more than happy to take all the good over those other little things.
Calming down, I asked mom how I would know the right one. Mom smiled and told me that I would know the right one by the way he held me. That when he took me into his arms it would be like the last piece of a puzzle falling into place. She laughed and said it would be so right that I would all but feel the click as she put it. She then said that of course if I felt that good in his arms then there would be no issues at all with those “other things” as she referred to sex. I nodded and thanked her. Mom said that was what she was there for then taking my hand told me to go upstairs and maybe lie down for a little while because when dad came home in an hour they had a big surprise for me. I told mom that I wasn’t really feeling up for a surprise maybe it could wait. Shaking her head and smiling Mom told me to trust her that this surprise would make me forget about Rob in a heartbeat.
I had no idea what she was talking about but didn’t care enough at the moment to ask and told her I was going upstairs. I entered my room and immediately stripped, tossed my clothes in the hamper, and the lingerie into the trash. I took a long hot shower trying to wash this latest painful experience away. When I got out of the shower I noticed that the door that led to the spare bedroom was open. The house was old and dad had said the bathroom that connected my bedroom with the spare one was called a jack and Jill bathroom. I closed the door to the other room which years ago had belonged to Jacob the son that Mom and dad had lost to leukemia at the age of three. Mom couldn’t have any more kids and Jacob’s passing was what had prompted them to look into adoption.
Going back into my room I tossed on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt and, as I sat at the bureau brushing my hair, looked at the pictures taped to my mirror. One of them was of me with Julia, the only reason I kept it was that Mark was also in the picture sitting on Julia’s lap with me standing beside him. Although we were two years apart, and Mark had a slightly olive complexion while I was very fair, we could have been twins. With a heavy sigh I gave up on my hair and lying in my bed I grabbed the old stuffed Scooby Doo Mom had bought me when I first came to live here. Holding it close to me like a little kid, I curled up to try to sleep.
I must have gone out because I was awakened by Mom knocking on my door. Poking her head in the room, mom told me to come on down that dad was home. I told her to give me a couple of minutes. I sat on the bed trying to forget about Rob for a few minutes; so I could at least pretend to be interested in whatever the surprise was then went downstairs. Mom and dad were sitting at the dining room table where we always had our ‘family meetings’. I sat across from them and despite my mood found myself becoming interested in what they were going to say. They were looking at each other grinning.
I asked what was up and after another look at each other dad asked mom if she wanted to be the one to tell me. Mom said he could and they went back and forth. They were smiling and I knew they were trying to get me to bite, so I did. I asked them if one of them would please tell me what the big secret was.
Mom reached out and took my hand across the table. I looked down at her hand a little nervously wondering what this was all about. When I looked back up mom smiled at me and squeezing my hand said, “Megan we got a call from a social worker a few days ago.” Her smile broadened and she whispered; “Honey they found Mark. Tomorrow we’re taking you to see your brother and if everything works out okay he’s going to come to live with us.”
Chapter Three
I woke up, and rolling over, sighed my alarm clock was reading six thirty AM. I rolled back over onto my back, stared up at the ceiling, which I had painted into a huge forest mural three years ago, smiling to myself. I was going to meet Mark today! Needless to say I hadn’t gotten much sleep last night as that one thought kept racing through my head. At least it was getting closer, the last time I had looked at the clock it had been four am so I must have nodded off for a couple of hours. We were due to go see Mark around noon, but after my excitement last night Mom promised to call the social worker at eight to see if we could go earlier.
I closed my eyes and let my mind drift back to the conversation last night. After my initial amazement I had started asking question after question; where was Mark, how did they find him, where had he been? The questions were coming so quickly I was tripping over my words. Mom and dad laughed and told me that if I could stay quiet long enough they would tell me the story.
Three days ago Mom had gotten a call from a man named Bill Weathers. He was a social worker that Mom and dad had dealt with a couple of years ago the last time they had tried locating my brother for me. Weather’s had told mom that they believed they had found my brother in a group home in Providence.
When my mother had asked how they had finally made the connection between Mark and me the social worker had said it had been through Julia. Apparently Weathers was Mark’s case worker and my brother was in a tough situation. Weathers was trying to do everything he could to help him. According to Mark he had a sister named Megan but she had died years ago. The names Mark and Megan made Weathers think of mom. Weathers contacted Julia and began asking her questions and finally got the answer to how we had gotten separated in the system.
My birth certificate said I had been born to Matthew and Julia Decosta. My father Matthew was an alcoholic, with a mean streak, and a serious mental disorder he was supposed to take medication for. More often than not he didn’t take it and beat Julia badly. When I was about a year and a half he left for New York telling Julia he’d be back. As soon as he left Julia filed a restraining order against him. A month later she found out Matthew had been arrested for killing a man in New York. A week after that she realized she was pregnant with Mark. According to Julia, Matthew was obsessed with the occult, and had badly wanted a son to carry on his traditions. Afraid that Matthew would get out of jail, Julia had put her maiden name of Phillips on the birth certificate, and listed father unknown. On paper Mark and I didn’t appear to be related. At least not to a casual observer or one that didn’t care, like your average state employee.
Weathers had decided not to tell Mark that they had found his sister, and that she was very much alive, before calling Denise to see if there was interest in Mark coming to live with us. Denise had said of course why wouldn’t there be? At that point mom had stopped talking and looked over at dad. I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. The way it always worked in family meetings; was that mom doled out most of the good, and dad was always the one who handled the bad news. As dad looked down at the table for a moment it occurred to me that my brother was in a group home at 16.
At the least this meant that Mark had simply bounced through a lot of homes, at the worst it could mean something bad had happened to him or he had some serious issues. As dad began to speak it turned out it was as bad as it could be. Mark had been in several homes when he was younger but never stayed for long. When he was nine he was taken into a home where he stayed for close to five years. During these five years he was badly beaten by the foster father. Weathers said that the records indicated Mark was taken out of there a couple of times for an investigation but supposedly nothing could be proven and there were very few places Mark could go so they sent him back. Two years ago my brother was beaten so badly he was hospitalized for two weeks. The foster father was arrested and Mark had been in a group home ever since and did indeed have issues.
My brother barely spoke, only when absolutely necessary. According to Weathers, Mark was not only intelligent, but tested at the ‘gifted’ level. Because of his refusal to communicate, however, there wasn’t much they could do with him. Weathers also indicated that over the last year Mark had been exhibiting violent behavior. According to the people who ran the home Mark never bothered anyone, he kept to himself, which of course made him a target in a place like that. When the other boys picked on him he would just sit there and stare off into space, however, if they touched him he didn’t stop fighting until he was physically restrained. Weathers said that Mark had been given many psychological tests and although he tested fairly normal there were some strange inconsistencies leading them to think the abuse may have caused permanent emotional damage.
Long story short, no one wanted anything to do with a sixteen year old that didn’t speak and was labeled as a problem child. Weathers said that there had been an incident two weeks ago. My brother beat two other boys, and although plenty of witnesses said that the others had gone after my brother first, the level of violence Mark had displayed had been considered unnatural. The board had told Weathers they were going to put my brother into a training school. Fortunately Bill Weathers took his job seriously and cared about the kids he worked with. He knew Mark wasn’t a bad kid and despite his issues excelled academically and certainly deserved better than what life had given him so far.
Weathers talked to my brother daily and gained his trust. Weathers had asked Mark if he had any brothers and sisters that he knew of and that’s when Mark had mentioned me. Eventually Mark had told him the foster father who had beaten him told him his sister was dead. As dad told me this my eyes welled up. I started to cry for my brother and what he had gone through. Granted I’d spent close to two years in a living hell but I had a great life now with people who loved me. Mark was still alone and suffering without even the hope of his sister ever coming back to him.
I asked my parents why they hadn’t told me right away and dad said first off they wanted to be sure it was my brother just in case. Also, the picture Weathers had painted of Mark wasn’t a pretty one and Mom and dad wanted to see him a couple of times to see if they thought it could work. I have to admit at that moment I found myself getting upset that my parents might never had told me about Mark if they thought he was trouble, but I pushed it aside as obviously it must be okay and besides mom and dad had always done everything they could to never see me hurt.
Mom then took over the conversation and said that one look at Mark told them he was my brother. According to mom Mark could pass for my twin just like when we were younger. Mom said the first time they met Mark, except for saying his name, he didn’t say a word as they talked to him. Instead he stared off into space as if they weren’t there. Weather’s had been in the meeting as well and kept trying to coax Mark to talk, telling him Mom and dad were interested in giving him a great place to live and to help him. Mom had said Mark’s answer was to shrug and say it was too late to help him.
Mom and dad deliberately didn’t mention me the first meeting to try to get a feel for Mark himself. Dad admitted he didn’t think it was a good idea. He said there was something strange about Mark that he couldn’t quite figure out, but it was a bad feeling, as if there was something more to my brother than he was letting on. Mom chalked this up, and I’m sure correctly, to Mark’s past and reminded my father of how a certain young very pretty little girl wouldn’t speak at all either the first few weeks she had lived with them. The second meeting went much better; Mark seemed surprised mom and dad came back. Mom started talking about Mark living with them and he said why would he want to. Mom then smiled and told him that she thought he would love to come live with them seeing his sister Megan had been living with them for years.
Mark’s reaction had been to tell my mother that his sister was dead and then to get upset and ask Weathers if these were the new people who were going to hurt him. Before the conversation went any further Mom pulled out my high school yearbook picture and handed it to Mark along with a copy of the one of the two of us with Julia. Mom said Mark’s reaction had been nothing short of heartbreaking, he’d picked up the high school picture and immediately had tears in his eyes. Mom said his hands were shaking and he kept whispering “my sister” over and over. Weathers had asked if he wanted to be alone for a little while.
Mark had shaken his head then after looking at the picture for another minute asked my mother if I was safe and happy. Mom had smiled and said, if he wanted to, he could ask me himself tomorrow. Dad had then added that Mark had smiled and said that he wanted that and then, to Weathers surprise, started asking mom and dad a lot questions, mostly about me but a couple of others about them including what high school he would go to.
All in all the meeting went well and ended with Mark telling my mother thank you for coming to see him. Weathers then talked to my parents alone and said that it would be an easy process for Mark to come live with us. Normally being placed in a foster home took weeks, and adoption dragged on even longer but this case was different. Mark was a ward of the state and since Julia had given up rights to us I was my brother’s next of kin and seeing I was eighteen this would simply be Mark going into the custody of his sister. When mom and dad had finished I was torn between sadness at what Mark had gone through and excitement that I would be reunited with my brother. Finally I felt an overwhelming wave of gratitude towards my parents, who were willing to take my brother in and give him as good a life as they had given me. I got up and going around the table hugged each of them tightly crying on each of their shoulders as I thanked them. One thing was for certain, Mom had been right, Rob was a distant memory.
The alarm went off at seven thirty startling me out of the doze I had drifted into. I was up like a shot and after taking a quick shower briefly wondered what I should wear to see my brother. I decided to go with my natural girl next door look rather than make up and taking the time to do my hair, after all this was my little brother, not a boyfriend. It was a warm June day so I tossed on a red sundress and pulled my long hair back into a simple ponytail. I went downstairs where Mom made my day by telling me Weathers said we could get there at ten. The next hour dragged and I was so excited that, a little after nine, dad said the hell with it we would get there early and we left for the group home.