Off the Chain Volume 2 Euftis Emery
Other books by Euftis Emery
Off the Chain
So you want me to do what???
Revenge – Between my Lover’s Legs…
I’m Shy…
Ubermensch
Dominion Publishing | Cincinnati
Table of Contents
Introduction
Prelude
A Typical Birthday
Bitch! You are fierce! By Gina Page
Fan Mail
Interlude : Bitchology - Diatribe on Men
Grimy
Grimier By Far
Interlude : Still with me?
Grimiest
Her Education by Ambrosia
It Pays to Advertise
Man-Eater
Interlude : Spades
Pussy Cravings by Gina Page
Interlude : The Ghetto Test
Taming Wild Punany
Interlude : Secret Yearnings by Ambrosia
The Good Samaritan
The Lesson by Gina Page
Sound Advice
When Euftis met Cocoa
Conclusion : Are ya feelin’ me?
Published by Dominion Publishing
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems without written permission from the publisher and or authors, except by reviewers who may quote brief passages to be printed in a magazine, newspaper or on a website.
Review passages may not exceed one column inch or forty-five words excluding articles, whichever is greater.
ISBN 0-9777112-2-6
© 2005, Euftis Emery
Smashwords Edition
Bitch! You are Fierce!, The Lesson, Pussy Cravings © 2005, Gina Page
Her Education, Secret Yearnings © 2006, Ambrosia
Cover design by Euftis Emery; cover model Topaz
Editing by Euftis
Euftis_Emery@yahoo.com
License Notes
This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Introduction
In Off the Chain Volume 2, I continue the stories with the characters that you met in my first book in addition to introducing some new ones. Although the volumes of Off the Chain are defined as a series of short stories, there is cohesion in the stories since I am the main character throughout pulling all of the pieces together.
Off the Chain in reality is a series of diary entries told in story form.
However, the entries of my diary do not follow a chronological sequence. I have done this deliberately. Many people read a book once, tossing it aside when done. My stories can be read as written separately, however, as new volumes of Off the Chain are released you can put the pieces of the puzzle together and read the stories in chronological order. Thus, Off the Chain is in reality a novel that spans a number of books and I hope you reread the books in their entirety again as I release new volumes.
It was very interesting, listening to the reactions of people who read the first book. Not with the freaks. I knew all of my fellow freak and freakettes would enjoy my work. You were not disappointed or bothered. If anything, many of you told me that I didn’t go far enough.
The people who amused me were the people who were not aware of their own freakiness and the saved/hypocrite folks. The unaware amused me with their private emails, thanking me for writing about things that they thought about or did because they had feelings of guilt for years and they were glad that there was someone on the freaktrain with them.
The saved/hypocrite folks, however, amused me the most. I received scathing emails from people who read the book from cover to cover and then proceeded to inform me of the immorality of my stories and that I suffered from sexual addiction.
I clearly and concisely stated in the Preface of Off the Chain that, “…Prudes, hypocrites, the inhibited, and saved folks need not pick up this book. You will be offended!” So with that clearly stated as well with the content of the book being clearly listed on the back….why….would you read it? Because you liked it! Uhhhh huh! You laid in your bed with your hand between your legs and soaked up every little word. Didn’t you? And then you probably prayed for forgiveness afterwards. And then….after you read the book….you got on your little soapbox and attempted to lecture me. But that’s okay. I forgive you…
I’m not going to put an advisory on this book. I hope anyone who reads it, be you freak, unaware, or a hypocrite, enjoys the read. Did ya miss me?
Euftis
Contact Euftis at:
Prelude
On the cover of Off the Chain in the lower left hand corner is the two-word phrase, “Do You…” A number of people have asked me to explain the significance of that phrase.
“Do you…, is something that I tell a hater when they have the nerves to step to my face with their personal beef. “Do you…is the title of a song by DMX and FunkMaster Flex. Check out the lyrics.
Do you...because I will continue to do me.
Peace.
A Typical Birthday
“Happy birthday Euftis”, Madeira said over my speakerphone. She was among the handful of Leata’s (my ex wife) friends that I had remained on speaking terms with.
**********
When Leata and I had separated for good, she came over one day to pick up her two daughters who had a sleep over with my kids. I let her in the house and I was about to tell her kids that it was time for them to leave when she stopped me.
She stared at me for several minutes looking me up and down with a strange expression on her face. Curious, as to what the issue was, I finally asked her what was her problem.
“I’m just trying to figure out what’s wrong with you”, she stated simply.
“What do you mean?, I asked.
“I’m trying to figure out why Leata left. What’s…wrong…with you? You’re a…good…looking man. You take damn good care of them kids. Don’t nobody have to make you go to work. You’re soft spoken…easy goin’. Leata left this…house! You obviously got a little dick or you…can’t… fuck”, she said looking at me suspiciously.
I laughed. “I don’t think that’s the issue.”
“Yes it is! That must be it! You got a little dick…or… you…can’t…fuck”, she said snidely moving her head sideways to emphasize each word.
“Well if that’s what you want to think…”, I replied shrugging my shoulders. I had never bragged or lied on my dick and wasn’t pressed about disputing her assumption.
“I’m gonna give you some.”
“Excuse me”, I exclaimed a bit shocked.
“I’m gonna give you some. Let’s go upstairs. The kids sound like they are having a good time. Let’s go to your room so I can see if that’s what the issue is.”
Having nothing better to do at the time… I took Madeira to my room and put her butt in the air. I tore her ass up!
“Well…do you understand what the problem is now”, I asked Madeira casually as I put my clothes back on.
“Yea! Leata has lost her damn mind!”
**********
“Thaaaank you dear”, I replied as I put some last minute items into my suitcase.
“What ya doin’ for your birthday”, she asked me curiously.
“Headed to Louisville this afternoon to spend the weekend there. I’m going to meet Leata’s sister, Brenda there and she’s going to take the girls. She lives in Evansville and she wanted to keep them for a couple of weeks.”
“Sound’s like you’re going to have some fun.”
“And you know this!”
“What did Leata get you for your birthday?”
“You think you’re funny...”, I said as Madeira snickered.
“Well…I didn’t have a chance to get you anything yet…what do you want?”
“Suck my dick”, I said directly. With the exception of my ex, who I trained, Madeira sucked a dick perfectly. Just the way I liked it.
Madeira laughed. “That’s what you want for your birthday? You want me to suck your dick?”
“Uhhhh huh.”
“I got you!”
“Good. You got to work today?”
“Nope. I got you! I’ll be home. Just call me. Wait a minute! Why can’t you come over noooow”, she asked curiously.
“Don’t ask questions you don’t really want to know”, I said.
“Oh…you’re going to see Gaeaaaaaaaa”, she said mockingly.
“Yea…she said she’s got a present for me.”
“She stank!”
“So I’ve been told”, I replied dryly. Every woman…and I do mean…every …woman who either saw a picture of or met Gaea called her a stank ho. There must have been something to it. However, I didn’t care because I was just about done with her anyway. The only way should could redeem herself was if she came correct on my birthday. She had dropped the ball already, by not planning anything for my day. That’s why I was headed to Louisville….without her.
“She is! I saw that as soon as I saw her!”
“Yea….speakin’ of which. I got a bone to pick with you”, I said challengingly.
Madeira noted my tone and answered my challenge not backing down. “And…what’s…that!”
“I don’t appreciate you trying to feel on my dick and ass on the sly when Gaea was over here. “, I told her. I was spending a comfortable evening cuddling with Gaea, when Madeira came over to drop off Elise’s book bag. The girls would go over Madeira’s house sometimes after school if I was going to be late picking them up and hang out with Madeira’s two daughters that went to school with them. Elise forgot her things at her house the day before. All she should have done was drop off the bag and left with Gaea none the wiser. She had to be a smart ass though, and knock on my office door so she could meet Gaea. She introduced herself to Gaea as my good friend and then requested that I walk her to the door and felt me up as soon as we were out of Gaea’s sight. I didn’t appreciate that shit!
“When I come over your house and Aaron’s there do I try to fuck up your shit”, I asked slightly pissed off. “No! Ain’t no huggy huggy … touchy… touchy…none of that!”
Madeira just laughed in response.
“That shit ain’t funny”, I replied seriously. “The next time I come over there when Aaron’s around I’m gonna hunch on your ass”, I said threatening her that I was going to tip off her man that I was hittin’ it.
“No! You better not! Euftis!”
“Watch!”
“Euftis! I’m not playin’! You better not”, she said getting a little nervous. She knew I would do it.
“Say you’re sorry.”
“I sorry”, she said sounding like a child. “But I couldn’t help feeling a little jealous.”
“You’re trippin’! You got a man.”
“So! I can still be a little jealous. But I sorry.”
“You better be. Don’t do that shit again. I’ll see you…when I see you. And you better be ready to suck some dick.”
“I got you”, she yelled over the receiver.
“Bye”, I said and hung up the phone.
**********
I rounded up the girls and loaded my luggage and theirs into the trunk of the car and we proceeded to the Golf Manor area of town where Gaea lived. Golf Manor is a strange little suburb of Cincinnati. There are a large number of rental units there housing primarily middle class blacks while the majority of the homes are owned by orthodox Jews. It was always interesting seeing the juxtaposition of black and orthodox Jewish lifestyles in the same neighborhood.
I really wasn’t looking forward to seeing Gaea, and sitting in the front seat, Nikki noticed my mood.
“Daddy. Ms. Gaea really wants to get married, but you’re not interested in marrying her are you”, Nikki asked. I talked to the girls openly about my relationships and what I liked and disliked in the women that I allowed them to meet. I wanted them to see the good and the bad in hopes it would help them make better decisions than I did in choosing a mate.
“Nope. I would marry her…but she doesn’t want to deal with our issues. She thinks we should just get married…and work things out then. I don’t play that! Don’t get mad…but I had enough issues with your mother”, the girls shifted around in the car uneasy whenever I brought up their mothers faults. In their eyes their mother was perfect. “If I get married again, I want to work things out before I walk down the aisle.”
“You don’t want to raise her kids”, Nikki stated hitting the root of my problems with Gaea.
“No I don’t. That’s the main problem. She thinks that if we got married, I would discipline ya’ll and she would discipline her boys. That shit won’t work”, I stated flatly.
“Jerome got kicked out of three day care centers this year. Gaea keeps blaming the people at the centers. Saying that they don’t know how to handle him. I can see that at maybe one center…but three.”
“He’s a cutie…but he is bad…”, Nikki admitted.
“He is”, Elise chimed in from the back of the car.
“Can you imagine us alone with his little bad ass?”
“Daddy…”, Sade said laughing not wanting me to call the child a bad ass but thinking it was funny at the same time.
“Yea…I said it! His little bad ass! But can you imagine us alone with him…the way he cusses you out…not understanding the word…no…and tearing up shit? And we can’t discipline him? We can’t say shit to him? We got to wait for Gaea to get home to deal with him”, the girls shook their heads laughing.
“And Dante…”, I started.
“He’s not bad Daddy...”, Nikki said interrupting me.
“He is sweet. But he’s laaaaaazy. He does not care at all about his grades and Gaea doesn’t push him to get good ones. He’s going to be the type of boy that at thirty will still be at home livin’ with his momma. You know I don’t play that. I love ya’ll…but what do I always tell you?”
“When we turn eighteen we need to go to college or get a job and get out of your house!”, the girls droned in unison.
“That’s…right”, I nodded approvingly while the girls laughed again. “’Cause then it will be my time to get butt naked and nasty wherever I want in my house!”
“Uhhhhhhhhh”, Elise exclaimed smiling.
“Daaaady”, Sade yelled.
“Daddy. We…really…don’t want to hear that”, Nikki said shaking her head smiling.
“Whateva. Ya’ll will be looking forward to the day when you can get buck naked and nasty in your house”, I said under my breath.
“Uhhhhhhh”, Elise groaned again.
“Daaaaady! That’s nasty”, Sade protested.
**********
We got to Gaea’s apartment building and Dante buzzed us in. We walked up to the second floor to find that Dante had left the door ajar. Walking in, we found him playing the Sims on his family’s wide screen television.
Dante had made himself an adult Sim in the game and his character was arguing with a female Sim who I assumed was his wife in the game. The girls played the Sims through all of its different versions and created husbands for themselves with the game-playing house. So I wasn’t surprised to see Dante doing the same thing.
“I see you’re playing the Sims”, I said to Dante.
“Yea. It’s aigh’t.”
“The girls love the game. I’m sure they would want to play”, I replied as Elise, my video game junkie nodded her head vigorously in agreement.
“Whose your girlfriend”, I asked him referring to the Sim woman his Sim character was still arguing with in the game.
“Awwwwww….I‘m livin‘ with my momma. She’s mad at me ‘cause I didn’t take the garbage out.”
The girls and I lost it right then and there. Dante looked at us confused wondering what was so funny about the statement he had made. We laughed so hard that Gaea came from her room in the back of the apartment.
“What…is…going on”, she exclaimed wanting in on the joke.
The girls and I all looked at each other and another wave of uncontrollable laughter assaulted us all. Dante and his mother looked at each other, not appreciating the joke that they knew was at one of their expense.
The laughter abruptly halted when little Jerome ran into the room butt naked…with a size D battery in his hand. I didn’t give him the opportunity to throw it though as I jumped forward and stripped it from his hand.
The girls breathed a sigh of relief, while Jerome had a temper tantrum. “Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you”, the four year old cursed at me repeatedly between his crying. Gaea and his brother laughed thinking it was cute.
Jerome walked back to the end of the room and picked up a pin from his plastic bowling set. He had thrown those fucking twelve inch bowling pins hitting me in the head on several occasions in the past when I wasn‘t watching his little ass.
I patiently waited for Gaea to discipline Jerome as he took a couple of steps forward…still cussin‘…and launched the pin at me. Since I saw it coming…I was able to sidestep it. Casually, I picked up the pin and slung it…hard…hitting Jerome on his naked left thigh.
He fell back, landing smack on his butt and hollered. “Ahhhhhh…fuck you! Ahhhhhhh... maaa… ahhhhhh…fuck….ahhhhh…fuck you!”, he screamed.
“Fuck you to…you little bitch ass…”, I thought to myself as I walked to the kitchen to get some cool aid.
“Don’t hit my brother!”, Dante exclaimed while his mother glared at me.
I ignored them both, not giving a fuck. They needed to discipline the little motherfucker. I was tired of turning the other cheek whenever he threw something at me. The girls snickered with their hands over their mouths and took over Dante’s game setting up a new simulation.
I was working on my second glass of red cool aid (Yea…I described the flavor as RED!) when Jerome picked himself off the floor and picked up another bowling pin. He threw it at me. Catching it, I threw it back at him. Aiming at his head.
“Hey”, Gaea exclaimed as I…unfortunately…missed.
“You better get him…”, I said over the top of my glass.
“Dante! Get your brother”, Gaea commanded.
Picking him up by the waist, Dante picked up his still screaming brother and carried him into his room, closing the door as I shook my head. Walking back into the living room, I stood in the middle of the floor while Gaea looked at me somewhat agitated. I didn’t apologize for my behavior. Jerome was out of control and she needed to deal with him.
Gaea stared at me for several minutes as the expression on her face slowly softened. She knew deep down in her heart that her son would grow up to become more of a problem if she didn’t do something to control him. But she was clueless about what to do and to proud to seek help.
Without a word, she walked over to her desk that was beside the front door and picked up a 2’ x 2’ piece of rectangular cardboard. Taking it from the desk, she walked back to me and presented it, flipping it around.
“Happy birthday”, she said sweetly presenting the piece of cardboard to me.
There was a letter taped to the middle of the piece of cardboard. I didn’t bother to read it, as I visibly got mad not bothering to hide it. “You cheap bitch”, I thought.
Gaea was done. She was a Pisces just like me, with her birthday being on the 4th. I had hooked her up with a purse from the Coach store and she returned the favor with a piece of fucking cardboard! That showed me in crystal clearness that she was one of those women who thought all she had to do to keep a man was open her legs.
The least that a woman can do with a man who comes correct is hook them up on Christmas and their birthday. I had wined and dined her for over six months and hooked her up on her birthday and in return I got…a piece of cardboard with a letter on it. She was done! You hear me!
Some of you females reading this book right now probably want to leap to your girl’s defense. I know what your thinking. “Euftis…maybe she didn’t have it like that!”
Read closely. There is no shame in being broke. So if you can’t give a man tangible things, then you need to give him your time. Bring food over to his house and cook for him. Run some errands for him. Come over to his house, put on a skimpy outfit and clean up while bending over liberally. You starting to get the picture? When a man comes correct a woman needs to do more than just open her legs. That shit gets old because there are plenty of women happy to open their legs for a man and you don’t even have to take them to dinner.
After Gaea said happy birthday, the girls jumped up from their game to see what she had got me. Huddling around me, they stared at me as I stared at her gift. My eyes still had not focused on the lettering of the letter enough to read what it said.
“Do you like it”, Gaea aksed.
I didn’t respond my eyes still not focusing in rage.
“What is it”, Elise asked wide eyed.
“I had a star named after your dad. The letter tells the name of the star and where you can find it in the sky using a telescope”, Gaea said watching me intently.
“Awwwwwwwwwww”, the girls sighed together thinking that it was sweet.
“It’s hard shopping for the man that has everything. Do you like it Euftis? I spent a lot of money for that.”
“I doubt it”, I thought. The number of the stars in the universe is infinite. New stars are discovered literally everyday and if there was an organization charging for the right to name a star, I was absolutely sure the fee wasn’t that high. Making a mental note, I planned on getting online to find out just how cheap her ass really was.
“You cheap ass bitch”, I thought to myself again. Still not bothering to read the letter not believing how fucking cheap and fucked up a gift she bought me. “You…could…have at least got a nice frame for this cheap shit versus taping it to a piece of damn cardboard!”
“You don’t like it…do you”, Gaea asked as her light skinned features flushed red.
I sighed heavily. “If you get me a gift…get me something I need…or something I want… I told you that...”
“Awwwww…you don’t like it Daddy”, Elise asked me.
“But you have everything”, she exclaimed as I didn’t fall for her attempt to pump me up so that I would overlook that she gave me a trifling gift. My money was not as long as P. Diddie’s . So I was far from having everything I wanted.
“You’re full of shit”, I thought. If someone truly cares for you, they will notice the little things that you may need and hear you when you talk about your desires and the things you want. She had done neither. I knew she was going to give me a fucked up gift but this was ridiculous.
“Well I have another gift for you”, Gaea said as she went back to her desk. Picking up a small box she walked back to me and presented me with her second…gift.
The box wasn’t big enough to hold a watch or bracelet…something that I did want. “What the fuck is this”, I thought irritated. I collected myself before I opened the box. I knew it would be something more fucked up than her first gift and I didn’t want to display any further negative emotions. It’s never good to let a woman know how she can push one of your buttons.
Drawing all of my anger into my stomach and draining my face into a blank mask I opened the box. “Whoop…whoop…alright then Ms. Gaea”, Sade boomed out after seeing my second gift. It was a shiny silver key. A key that I surmised was for her apartment.
I seethed molten hot lava from the pores of my skin. “I can’t believe she’s comin’ at me with this weak playette shit”, I thought. Gaea reached out with her Pisces powers of discernment to attempt to gauge my reaction to her new gift. As good as she was though, I was ten times better and her probes read…nothing.
“You must think I’m stupid”, I thought. Gaea thought she was going to manipulate me into giving her a position one step from marriage. She thought I would be excited at the prospect of 24-hour access to her pussy. I already got it when I wanted it. I didn’t need a key for that! But she thought that I would get so caught up that I would eventually return the favor and give her a key to my place. Exchanging a key to a two-bedroom apartment for a key to a fifty-two-room mansion. What was the benefit for me?
With a key to my house she would pop by whenever the whim struck her…messing up my side action! She would spend her lunch breaks over at my house…runnin’ her nosey ass through my shit! She would come over randomly and spend the night…with her badass kids! I visualized her insidious plan in the seconds that it took me to open the box and see the key. “No way in hell”, I thought.
Looking up into her slanted eyes betraying nothing, I mentally gripped a mic and spit a rhyme in her face.
I don’t want your key…and you ain’t gettin’ mine!
Ask to use my ride…you committin’ a crime!
Leave you’re panties or your bra…I’m gonna throw ‘em away!
Ya can’t find the door…I’ll be glad to show ya the way!
Hope ya come back Babydoll…ya…just…can’t…STAY!
We can get together on ANOTHA day!
I’ll come and…GET..you…when I…MISS…you…
‘Cause if I see you everyday…best believe I’m gonna DISS you!
“Thank you”, I said simply as Gaea fought to maintain her composure when I didn’t act as giddy as she expected. I felt so…justified…with the mayhem that I planned on causing that day. I would have carried out my plans anyway mind you…but now I could do it without an ounce of remorse. The Mack Association’s rules are crystal clear in situations when your woman lies, does not come correct, or attempts to manipulate you in anyway. Play her ass! With extreme prejudice!
“Let’s go girls”, I said nonchalantly. “Thank you for my gifts”, I said sweetly as I kissed Gaea softly on the cheek.
“What are you doing after you drop the girls off”, Gaea asked inquisitively.
“Obviously nothing with you since you didn’t plan anything for my birthday”, I thought.
“Ohhhhhh…nothing. I’m going to drop the girls off and go home”, I replied as the girls almost ran out the front door. They didn’t want to betray me allowing Gaea to see any strange expressions on their face. They knew I was spending the weekend in Louisville and probably had a good idea what I would be doing there as well.
“Call me sometime this evening”, Gaea said to my back.
“Don’t hold your breath waitin’ for that phone call”, I thought. “I will”, I replied as I walked out her apartment closing the door behind me. We walked down to the basement and exited the building through the garage. As the girls walked to the car, I paused at the trashcans that were neatly placed in a row behind Gaea’s apartment building. Stopping at one of her neighbor’s cans, I stuffed the cardboard into it and tossed the key in as well for good measure.
“Daaaaady”, Elise and Sade exclaimed standing beside the car. Nikki didn’t comment. Being older, she knew what was up.
Getting into the car without saying a word, I drove out of Gaea’s complex headed towards downtown so that I could get my birthday present from Madeira.
“You’re through with Ms. Gaea? Aren’t you Daddy”, Nikki asked me smiling.
“Does a bear…shit in the woods”, I replied as Nikki giggled at my response.
“But Daddy…we…like…Ms. Gaea”, Elise replied.
I ignored her. “That’s not a positive”, I thought. I was much more comfortable with women who my children didn’t like. Women that they liked I found as I observed them over time had qualities like their mother. As a result, women who my daughters were fond of I watched very closely.
“I would have liked it if someone named a star after me”, Sade said pouting showing disappointment with my action in throwing Gaea’s present away.
“That’s the point”, I said looking into Sade’s eyes in my rear view mirror. “You…would have liked it. That would be a present fit for a woman…not a man. She probably recycled a gift she got from someone else.”
Nikki chuckled. “No she didn’t daddy.”
“Would you have gotten that for your boyfriend as a gift”, I queried my eldest child.
“No”, Nikki replied diffidently.
**********
We got to Madeira’s house to find her daughters playing in their front yard. Nikki, Sade and Elise spilled out of my car and joined their friends talking excitedly in typical girl fashion…shouting in each other’s face ten decibels higher than needed.
“Hey Mr. E”, Jasmine, Madeira’s oldest daughter said to me as she ran up and gave me a big hug.
“Lawd this child is gonna be foine when she grows up”, I thought as I hugged Madeira’s beautiful daughter back. “Hey cutie”, I replied.
Walking in the front door, I jogged up the first flight of steps to Madeira’s front door and ran right into an adult boxer. “Ohhhh shit”, I thought as I stared into the dogs large round eyes. Sitting on its hunches, I could tell that the dog was female. She stared at me staring at her for several moments and then sat up, shaking its semblance of a tail.
Breathing a sigh of relief, I reached forward and petted the overly affectionate dog. Reaching down with both hands, I scratched the dog under her armpits. She closed her eyes while breathing heavily out of her open mouth. She was a big teddy bear.
Gently pushing her to the side, I was able to move her out of the way so that I could knock on the door. The dog jumped up on me with its paws on my side and I patted its head as I patiently waited for Madeira to open the door.
After knocking on the door for a third time she finally opened the door. “Hey”, she said plainly.
“Hey yourself”, I replied as I walked in with the dog following behind me. “Whose dog?”
“That’s my sister’s dog. She got put out of her place and is livin’ with a friend. She was gonna put her at the Humane Society ‘cause her friends place don’t take dogs. The dog’s sweet. I felt sorry for her so I told my sista I’d keep her ‘till she gets a new place.”
“You got a big heart Madeira. You take everyone in. Human or otherwise”, I said earnestly. “What’s her name?”
“Precious.”
“A boxer named Precious”, I said laughing as I walked into Madeira’s bedroom.
“Where you goin”, Madeira asked amused.
“Into your bedroom so that I can get my birthday present. You don’t want to start suckin’ my dick on your couch and have one of the kids run into the house and catch us do you?”, I asked her as I laid in the middle of her bed.
“So what did Gaaaaaaaea get you for your birthday”, Madeira asked me enviously.
I frowned in response.
“Ohhhh ohhhh….”, Madeira said laughing. “What she get you Euftis”, she asked with a devilish gleam in her eyes.
“A key to her place and a cardboard plaque with a letter on it saying that she named a star after me”, I told her sourly.
Madeira hollered.
“Yea…yea…yea…laugh it up”, I said dryly.
“I…told…you…she stank”, she said between laughs. “Let me see it.”
“Too late. I threw her shit away.”
“Ohhhh no! That’s funny!”
“Yea…whateva…come here and give me some birthday head.”
“I’ll get to it”, Madeira replied haughtily as I got off the bed and closed and locked her bedroom door. Madeira watched me silently as she puttered around her bedroom. She picked up a large cone shaped device off her dresser and walked towards her closet with it. I stared at the electric cord dangling from it trying to determine what it was.
“What is that”, I asked her confused.
“It’s my butt plug”, she replied matter of fact.
“It’s your whaaaaaat”, I exclaimed not believing what she said. The tip of the electric powered toy was as wide as my wrist and the bottom was as wide as my forearm. I couldn’t fathom how she got all of that vibrating plastic in her tight ass as I continued to stare at it amazed.
“It’s my butt plug”, she replied again. “I take it like a champ”, she told me smugly.
“God damn! If you can take all that in your ass you ain’t no fuckin’ joke! How do you fuck yourself with it.”
“I put it on the floor and I squat on it until my ass opens up and then I can ride it.”
“Daaaaaaaamn!”
“My momma always said that I was quiet nasty”, she said demurely.
“I would have to agree with that”, I remarked. I had never seen a butt plug so huge before and couldn’t fathom Madeira spreading her tight apple bottom with it.
She put the toy into the closet, hiding it within a shoebox. “Don’t want Aaron to know about your toy”, I asked her amused.
“He ain’t like you. He don’t like me using toys. He thinks his dick is all that I should need. He fucks me in the ass and he would get real intimidated if he saw what I like to use when I get horny when he is not here.”
I laughed. I didn’t understand men who got bent out of shape with a woman if she used a sex toy. A smart man knows that if he uses the toys that she prefers on her that she will begin to associate the feelings of pleasure that she receives from them with you.
I began to get a little irritated. I just wanted Madeira to give me my birthday head so that I could roll out. She was taking her good time about it. “What new porn you got”, I asked her attempting to get her in the mood with some subliminal stimuli.
Handing me a handful of DVD’s, Madeira went back to her closet. Choosing a Sean Michael’s flick, I fired it up in her player and repositioned myself on her bed. She pulled out a red bra and panty set with a matching sheer red robe. My mouth watered at the thought of her in it.
“Do you like this”, she asked me teasingly.
“You know I do. You gonna put it on for me?”
“No. I just wanted to show you some of the things I put on when I want to feel pretty around the house. These are the shoes that I wear with them”, she said as she held up some red stripper heels.
I didn’t comment and stared at the television. I jumped to the scene where Sean was doing Janet Jackme. Sean was giving it to her and loving every minute of it. I had stopped buying his videos because he had grown a penchant for white girls with far too much silicon in their breasts. He had brought Ms. Jackme in for a guest appearance on this DVD and they were tearing each other up. Janet wanted that long dick just as bad as Sean wanted that phat ass and I appreciated their untamed intensity.
Sean had her sitting on a couch and was drilling her face holding her ears like handlebars, while Janet, who was playing with her pussy furiously, slobbered and gagged on the long dick in her usually lusty fashion. “She ain’t that cute…“, Madeira said referring to Janet. “I don’t know why you men spend all your money on her video’s”.
Not commenting I continued to watch the action on her television. Janet tried to deep throat Sean’s meat. Gagging when she couldn’t take any more down her esophagus, she slowly backed off his dick trailing saliva on his glistening member along the way. As she continued to lean back against the couch, Sean’s dick finally exited her mouth. A thick stream of slob bound them together from the Janet’s bottom lip to the tip of Sean’s dick. Janet continued to lean back slowly as Sean stood motionless. Both of them wanted to see how long the spit rope could get before it broke.
Janet spread her long shapely legs wide and fingered herself slowly with her index finger as she stared at Sean’s dick longingly with an open mouth. You could tell that she was torn with making the decision to either continue sucking it or taking it between her wet legs. The spit rope finally broke as Janet’s back pressed against the couch. Spreading her large mouth wide, she slowly went back to slobbering on Sean’s dick groaning loudly throughout.
“Fuuuuuuuck”, I moaned getting turned on by Ms. Jackme’s oral attentions. I rarely want to step into another man’s shoes but I wished that I were Sean Michael’s in that instant.
A profusely sweating Michaels pushed Janet back by her shoulders and told her to get on her knees. He was having difficulties maintaining from her head skills and wanted to get some penetration in the scene before he busted.
Janet stuck her glorious ass in the air and Sean quickly dug deep up in her guts. “That’s what we love about her”, I blurted out. “Look how she’s got her back arched…and her head all the way down. She always takes all the dick. She never cheats…never runs from the dick. She just throws all that ass up in your face. And all that damn moanin’ and groanin’ that she does. That is a fucking turn on! Those long legs. That ass! The way she slobs down a dick. Any man would love to fuck her”, I told Madeira as I began to rub my dick through my pants.
“I still say she ain’t cute”, Madeira replied. “Mmmmm…but he’s holdin’…”, she said squinting her eyes as she watched Sean long stroke Janet from the back.
After lubing up his dick on Janet’s wetness, Sean pulled out and begin to drill deep into Janet’s succulent ass. “Ohhhhhh God! Ohhhhhh God! Ohhhh Gooooood”, Janet screamed her patented yell as Sean began to stroke it, digging deeper with each thrust.
Not being able to handle just watching that good sex any longer, I unzipped my pants and pulled my dick out. Sergio stood up straight, proud and strong.
Madeira stopped watching the movie and began to watch me jerk off on her bed. “You so nasty…”, she said off handedly feigning disgust.
Ignoring her, I squeezed Sergio hard, pushing clear fluid out of the shaft, which I used to lubricate the palm of my hand. Reestablishing the strangle hold around my dick, I begin to stroke myself in rhythm with Sean fucking Janet on the video. “Where is a genie when you need one”, I thought. If I had a magic lamp, I would have wished then and there to switch places with Sean in that video.
The bed moved slightly as something heavy pressed down at the foot of the bed. With my attention diverted from the television, I looked down to see Madeira on all fours staring between my legs.
Staring into her eyes, we looked at each other with blank expressions on our faces for several moments. I then extricated my left leg from my pants and flipped the empty material over my right leg. We continued to stare at each other as I jacked myself sporadically.
Madeira inched forward until she was between my legs and she laid her head on my bare thigh, watching me play with myself. Looking back at the television, I watched the rest of the scene until Sean pulled his rigid tool out of Janet’s loosened ass and exploded all over her gaping asshole.
Looking down upon Madeira, I opened my hand and moved my wet palm towards her face. She turned her face away, pressing her lips into my thigh. Taking a firm hold on her ponytail, I turned her face towards me and pressed my pre-cum lubricated hand into her lips.
She breathed in deeply, and then began to lick tentatively with the tip of her tongue on my palm. Her licks became more laborious as she ran the base of her tongue in an X pattern across my palm. After removing the flavor from my palm, she then sucked each finger clean.
Once she cleaned my hand, I pulled her head back by her ponytail and aimed my dick at her lips. She took the head into her mouth and sucked it like a sucker. “Hold up”, I said as I crawled behind her. I pulled her jeans down under her ass and palmed her tight SerenaBooty the best that I could.
“Naaaa…ummmm…”, she moaned softly looking back. She knew I wanted to hit it before she sucked it and unfortunately she wasn’t down with it. I should have requested a birthday fuck instead of a birthday suck.
“You must want to give your man some tonight”, I thought. She didn’t want him to know that someone else was up in there. Leaving her jeans and panties pulled down so I could look at her bare ass as she sucked my dick, I resumed my position with my back against the headboard of her bed.
Wrapping her long ponytail around my left hand, I put my dick back in her mouth with my right hand. She repositioned herself to my left side and began sucking on my head again with short head bobbing movements. “Hold up again. Take your tongue ring off”, I told her. The damn thing just got in the way as far as I was concerned.
Silently, she unscrewed the bottom of her tongue ring and handed me the parts. Leaning to the side I placed them on the nightstand next to her bed. Madeira waited patiently and didn’t begin to suck my dick again until I pointed it back at her face. She always sucked it with no hands, preferring that I position it the way I wanted in her mouth. I liked that shit!
Madeira ceased with her quick head movements and began to suck Sergio in long slow drags wetting and lubricating it with her saliva until it slid in and out of her mouth easily like it was her pussy.
I tugged on her ponytail. Not enough to impede her from sucking me. But enough so that she felt the pull on the back of her skull. “You need to let me come back soon so I can pull your pony tail like this and ride your ass…”, I told her as I stared at her partially bare derriere.
She didn’t comment and continued to suck my dick in long, slow drags with a blank expression on her face. She bent her left leg at the knee and I could see glistening wetness running down her slightly spread ass. Reaching between her legs, I scooped a handful of wetness with my fingers and spread it over her anus and cheeks.
“Quiet nasty is right”, I thought. Although she kept her features expressionless while she slurped me, her pussy screamed that she loved what she was doing in an operatic voice.
Releasing Sergio from her deep embrace, she gently moved my hand from the base of my hardness and held Sergio with her fingers. She stared at my shining dick marveling at it and her handiwork. Tilting it to the right she continued to stare at my tool. I surmised that she was taking detailed photographs of it in her mind. Mapping out each winding vein. Cataloging every slight blemish. Reliving the memories of the other places where I put it inside her body.
Tilting it to the left, she continued her detailed inspection of my penis as if it were a work of art. I loved how Madeira worshipped my dick. How she admired that thing that she did not have but gave her such great pleasure.
With her devotion complete, she removed her hand from the base of my dick and her slim, pliant fingers fluttered underneath my scrotum. She was ready now. Ready to drink from my fleshly chalice.
Sucking in my breath, I prepared to bestow my devotee with her communion. Her fingers caressed the soft folds of my scrotum coaxing the white doves trapped within my body to take flight as she continued to take long, slow drags on my shaft.
I groaned from the intense feelings of pleasure from her soft fingers. After the first time that I experienced a woman’s digits on Sergio’s step children, I had attempted to duplicate the feelings on several occasions when I masturbated. Sadly, my manly fingers lacked the soft subtleness of a woman’s tender touch. I understood why when a woman craved a gentle caress, she sought out another women.
The ministrations of her fingers coupled with her steady sucking soon overwhelmed me and I picked up and pressed a pillow to my face to muffle my moans and soft screams.
Madeira continued her steady head movements riding out my orgasm while only uttering one low moan while she drank which betrayed her enjoyment.
After my throbbing subsided, Madeira slowly extracted Sergio from her mouth and watched him until he went flaccid in her hand. “Perfect...”, I told her in a whisper remarking on her skillz.
Sitting up on her knees she gave me a soft kiss on my cheek. “Happy birthday…”, she whispered in my ear.
**********
I was almost at the midpoint to Louisville when my cell phone rang. From the ring tone I knew it was Lucy.
“Hey sexy”, I answered the phone merrily.
“Happy birthday baby”, Lucy’s sensual voice rolled over my phone.
“Thank you baby.”
“What you doin’ for your birthday?”
“I’m headed to Louisville as we speak.”
“Is your girlfriend going with you?”
“No”, I snapped.
“What’s wrong baby.”
“Lucy…me and you…we are just to damn nice. That’s why people try to play us as stupid!”
“What happened”, Lucy asked giggling. I explained to her what Gaea gave me for my birthday and my perception of it. I was surprised though when Lucy played devil’s advocate.
“Did you go online to get an idea of how much it costs to get a star put in your name? She may have spent some money on you”, she said.
“No. I didn’t. I planned on looking when I got back in town. Are you at work?”
“Yes.”
“Do a search baby and tell me how much that would cost. I know she was being a cheap ass bitch!”
Lucy did a quick search on Yahoo and to my surprise found several web sites that allowed you to pay to get a star named after you. “So how much does it cost”, I asked rushing her for the information.
“Ummm…wait…a minute. Okay. Ohhhh….maybe…you’re right. On this website it only costs thirty dollars.”
“See! I told you she’s a cheap ass…”
“Wait a minute! On this other website it costs seventy dollars. So maybe she got it from there”, she said hopefully trying to have her fellow females back from long distance.
“Well she kept professing she spent…a lot of money…seventy dollars is not a lot. I’m not ungrateful but…”
“Awwwwww…daaaaaaummmm”, Lucy exclaimed giggling.
“What baby!”
Lucy laughed. “Ummmm…baby… The seventy dollar one comes… with…a frame!”
“Awwww hell naw!”
“Ummm….I guess you’re right. She’s a cheap ass bitch”, Lucy replied laughing.
**********
Getting to Louisville a little after 2pm, I met up with the girl’s aunt and said my goodbyes. My friend Camilla offered to take me to dinner for my birthday after she got off work. I didn’t plan to meet her until 9pm that evening so I had some time to kill and I knew the perfect place do it. Phat's Bar & Grill. I had hit my boy Darkside up a couple of day’s prior and he told me that Phat’s was the current place to be in Louisville if you wanted to get into some trouble. Darkside has the 411 on just about every black strip club and after hours spot in the nation. He can even tell you by name which girls are ‘bout it or will just straight up fuck you. He told me to check out Phat’s and of course the infamous Hourglass Lounge. Since the Hourglass didn’t open until 10pm I opted to hangout at Phat’s. If ya wanna know what’s up fella’s join Darkside’s Yahoo group at : darksidesebonyreviews-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. But I digress.
Before I went to Phat’s though I made a side trip. Heading over to 4th street, I checked into my suite at The Gault House. After taking a quick shower and changing my gear I hit the streets.
**********
When I rolled into Phat’s, things were pretty slow which was cool with me. Female predators are thick and on the prowl when you hit a strip club late at night. But during the afternoon/early evening, clubs are filled with NiceNasty girls so you don’t have to wade through females trying to empty your pockets to find someone willing to fuck.
The bartender, a rough tattoo laden white boy sporting Harley gear, accosted me at the door demanding to see my ID and a $10 cover charge. He glanced at my ID without even looking at me for comparison and absent-mindedly took the $20 bill that I proffered. He made change and started to hand it to me when I stopped him and ordered vodka with cranberry juice on the rocks.
He made my drink and gave me back $7 change. “A three dollar drink”, I thought. “Very reasonable.” I picked a seat in the dimly lit club near the stage and took in my surroundings. The so-called stage was the smallest one that I had ever seen and sat in a corner beside the bar. The simple stage contained a pole in the middle of it with about three feet of space on either side. Just barely enough room for a ThickOne to shake her ass good.
Looking around the small club I took in my surroundings. There were five other patrons there besides me. Two women sat together at a table, one of which appeared to be a stud (a female lesbian that dressed like a thug) and the other one was foine. Since they were both probably hard-core lesbians I quickly tuned them out. There was a black gentleman who appeared my age reading a newspaper and a slim framed white guy who looked like he had just come down from the hills. Can you say Jed Clampet? Last but not least was a young thug who chilled in the back sipping a drink and smoking a Philly.
Three dancers milled around the bar. All were very attractive and I was happy that I was going to get adequate eye candy on my birthday. A white girl stepped onto the stage. She was foine. I was amazed because she had the Thickness, shaped up just like a sista with big legs, ass, and tits. She threw her long, straight, jet-black hair around as white girls do as she wiped off the excretions of the previous dancer from the pole. She wore a white halter-top with a matching thong, white thigh high stockings and a pair of clear heels…of course. I appreciated her curves aesthetically as she prepared the stage and then locked on a long legged chocolate sista at the bar. Although I could appreciate how an attractive white woman looked they rarely held my attention. They just lacked that flava!
I was tilting my head to the side staring at Ms. LongLegs ass when Trina’s cut 69 Ways fired up on the clubs sound system. I scoffed. “White gurl pluuusze , I thought. Although she had the equipment, I knew there was no way in hell she was going to do Trina’s song any justice. I laughed to myself and continued to watch the long legged dancer at the bar.
At that second, everyone in my field of vision turned and stared at the stage transfixed. Curious, I turned as well, and damn near dropped my drink. The white girl was working shit out.
Laying on her back, with her ass facing the crowd, she spread and undulated her legs causing her flesh to ripple down to her big ass which clapped in response to her movements. Her thong was devoured by her booty showing off the entirety of her gluteus maximums with the exception of her anus. The more she moved, the more her pussy ate of her thong revealing her big pussy print.
While still on her back, she bent one leg at the knee and held the other leg straight and then began to undulate the straight leg like a snake causing her ass to jiggle in a new a varied way. “Work it white girl”, I yelled out at the top of my lungs.
Bracing her forearms on the floor, under her back, she lifted her ass off the floor and bent both of her legs at the knees waving them around. At that point I got up and headed for the stage. I had to give the white girl her props and tip her ass.
I sat back down in my chair and girlfriend flipped over onto her knees and started throwing her big ass at me emulating someone fucking her doggy style.
She pulled her panties down around her thighs and then laid her head flat on the floor and began doing a mini wave with her ass cheeks. Waving to the right and then back to the left. “Damn bitch”, I thought. Bouncing right back up like I was playing musical chairs, I went back to the stage and dropped another dollar on her undulating ass. She was fuckin’ me up.
Continuing to watch her hungrily, I stalked my newfound prey until she finished dancing after her second song butt naked. “I wanna fuck you”, I thought as she exited the stage going to the back to change. She had got me more than a little heated with all the gyrations she performed on the floor of the stage. I liked that shit! I liked it a lot and I patiently waited for her return and was not disappointed when she reappeared with a black version of the outfit that she wore onstage. She walked out of the dressing room and made a beeline to the rear of the club jumping into the young thug’s lap.
I watched them discreetly in order to determine if their interaction was strictly business or personal. I soon surmised that it was personal when the dancer offhandedly buried her tongue in the thug’s ear while simultaneously unzipping and sticking her hand down his pants.
Turning around to give them a semblance of privacy in the open confines of the club I went back on the prowl seeking other prey. Ms. Longlegs was onstage and her dancing technique involved a large percentage of pole work. Sighing disappointed, I was forced to downgrade her PussyStatus to that of eye candy. She was sexy as hell but just didn’t know how to use what she was workin’ with. If I fucked her I knew I wouldn’t really enjoy it.
“How are you? Mind if I sit wit ya”, a female voice said to my right side. Relaxed, I turned my head to see who was addressing me. My eyes were level with the woman’s caramel belly ringed stomach. Titling my head up slightly, I looked up slowly and let my eyes caress her flat stomach, large breasts, long neck, and full lips until they engaged her large light brown eyes.
Women tell me that I have killer eyes and I intentionally fuck women up with them as much as humanly possible. I stared in her eyes mesmerizing my prey like a cobra before I spoke. “I’d like that”, I said finally. “Where did you come from”, I thought as the cutie sat down wearing yellow booty shorts with a matching tank top. I had been so intent on my escaped prey that I hadn’t noticed a fresh set of dancers that had clocked in.
She pulled a chair up next to me and took a seat, clumsily crossing her ankles and sticking her platform-encased feet under her chair. “I’m Passion”, she said somewhat nervously extending her hand.
“I’m E“, I replied taking her hand and holding it. I peeped instantly that girlfriend was green to the strippa game and easy prey. If I found her doable I fully intended on molesting her young ass right there in the club.
I continued to gently hold her hand and stared into her eyes. She blushed and fidgeted around in her chair a bit rubbing her thighs together. Continuing to hold her hand I flashed a wide smile. Her jaw dropped open and her eyes got wide as she unconsciously rolled her tongue ring around in her mouth nervously playing with it.
“Ohhhh….so you’re orally inclined…”, I thought as I imagined sticking my dick in her mouth. “You’re a cutie…”, I told Passion finally releasing her hand.
“Thank…you…”, she replied hesitantly.
“You’re very welcome. You haven’t done this long…have you”, I asked her directly.