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Sugarland
Published by Ali Spooner at Smashwords
Copyright 2011 Ali Spooner
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Memories
Sasha sat in front of the baby grand piano in the parlor of her Sugar Land home, her lavender eyes sparkling with tears and framed by her raven hair. Her fingers caressed the ivory keys as she played a piece by Bach while she focused on the portrait hanging on the wall. A beautiful blonde-haired woman with deep-blue eyes gazed out of the painting, transfixing Sasha. She willed her mind to relax and her thoughts traveled back to the day the photograph, which eventually became the model for the portrait now hanging proudly in her parlor, was taken.
“I hope I didn’t just break your camera,” Milly teased.
“That will probably turn out to be one of the best photographs I have ever taken,” Sasha said as she joined her lover. “Are you ready to have our picnic now?”
“Yes, my darling,” Milly said.
Milly spread the small blanket beneath the majestic oak and they enjoyed the meal that Marie had packed for them.
“Have I told you yet today how much I love you?” Sasha asked.
“Several times, but I can never hear those words enough,” Milly said as she lay down and placed her head in Sasha’s lap.
“I love you with all my being and my love for you will last an eternity,” Sasha vowed as she bent down to kiss Milly.
They had spent the remainder of the afternoon making love beneath the majestic oak. When they returned to the horses, Sasha looked at Milly and said, “I will always cherish today’s memories and I thank you for creating them with me.”
Sasha sighed as her fingers stroked the piano.
“Milly, my love, how I miss you so,” Sasha said.
Over twenty years had passed since Milly’s death in the nineteen-eighties, yet Sasha still felt the raw pain of her loss. She had witnessed so much death in her life, but nothing had devastated Sasha like the death of her beloved. As she stared back at the deep-blue eyes, Sasha could still hear the melodic sound of Milly’s laughter as she had said “smile” when Sasha took the photograph so many years ago. Tears flowed down Sasha’s cheeks as she remembered the love they had shared and her mind drifted further back, to the very beginning.
Chapter One – In the Beginning
Sasha Thibodaux’s parents, Theo and Marie, met and fell in love at a New Orleans social where Marie was performing on a baby grand piano in the fall of eighteen-hundred eighty- eight. Theo, a successful shipping entrepreneur, was drawn to the music and entranced from his first sight of Marie. A touring concert pianist and proper Cajun lady, Marie’s piano performances were a highlight of the bustling socials held by New Orleans’ most elite inhabitants. Their courtship began that humid evening and quickly blossomed into a passionate romance.
Their engagement lasted a year and the wedding set a new standard for the New Orleans’ community. Theo’s success afforded him the wealth to purchase a large mansion on the rivers east side, where he and Marie made their home.
They traveled to Europe by steamship for an extended honeymoon and it was on this voyage that Sasha was conceived. Nearly a month later, on their last night in Paris, Theo and Marie strolled beneath a blanket of stars. As they sat on a nearby bench marveling at the heaven’s handiwork, Marie said to Theo, “My love, are you ready to be a father?”
Theo looked at Marie with disbelief. “Are you sure?” he asked.
“Very much so,” Marie said with a smile. “We are going to have a child.”
Theo jumped from his seat and his shouts of joy echoed throughout the vast courtyard. He then took Marie in his arms for a passionate kiss.
“Marie, you are making all my dreams come true,” Theo said, nearly breathless.
The next day, they began their journey homeward. On the return trip Marie was plagued by morning sickness, but Theo remained by his wife’s side and attended to her every need.
When they returned to New Orleans, he hired Caroline, a Cajun midwife, as a companion for Marie. They spent their mornings sipping tea in the gardens and in the parlor where Marie played the piano. After lunch, Marie would retire for a brief nap to refresh herself before Theo’s return.
Each night, Theo returned home and placed his hand on his wife’s swollen stomach to feel the strong heartbeat of his growing child. He would then gently embrace Marie for a soft kiss, barely able to restrain his excitement as the day of birthing grew closer.
The summer’s heat continued to build and on the first day of July, Caroline found Theo in the parlor.
“Marie’s time is growing near.” She smiled at him and said, “Are you ready to be a father?”
“I have dreamed of this for nine months, Caroline, and I couldn’t be more ready,” Theo said.
For two days, Caroline sat beside Marie’s bed and when her labor began on the third, they were joined by Theo.
He sat with them through thirty hours of painful labor, refusing to leave her side.
“Does it always take this long?” he asked Caroline.
“The child decides when it is ready and this one seems to be taking its time,” Caroline said.
“Is there anything I can get you, my love?” Theo asked as he held Marie’s hand during the painful labor.
“No, Theo. Having you here with me as we welcome our child is all I need,” Marie managed to say between painful contractions.
Theo was tormented by the pain Marie was experiencing, but knew there was nothing he could do to relieve her agony, so he sat with her as patient and loving as he could be. He wiped the perspiration from her face with a cool cloth and spoke to her in soothing tones.
“It won’t be much longer,” he promised as he saw Caroline get into position to receive the child.
“Here we go,” Caroline said as the crown of the baby’s head became visible. “You have to push now, Marie,” she said.
Theo watched as his exhausted wife used the remainder of her strength to expel the baby from her body. When the child was born, Marie passed out from the exertion, causing Theo great worry. “Is this normal?” he asked as he looked at Marie with concern.
“Very much so, Theo, so there is no need to worry. Marie is just exhausted and relieved the process is over.”
Theo had watched carefully as Marie gave birth to their daughter. Caroline placed her in his arms for the first time, while Theo’s tears flowed freely.
“You have a beautiful daughter,” Caroline said.
“Welcome to the world, Sasha Marie Thibodaux,” he said as he cradled the infant near his body.
Marie had opened her eyes again and watched as Theo sat on the edge of the bed cradling their daughter.
“She is so beautiful, Marie,” Theo said as he turned the child so Marie could see her daughter.
The raven-haired infant stole Theo’s breath away and he stared in wonder at his daughter.
“She is so beautiful, Marie,” Theo repeated.
Marie smiled weakly at her husband. “You look so natural with our daughter,” she said.
“That sounds so good, please say it again.”
“I said, you look so natural with our daughter,” Marie repeated.
“I love you so,” Theo said as he leaned down to kiss Marie.
From the day of her birth, Theo vowed to do everything possible to give his daughter the best life had to offer.
During the first few years, Sasha spent her mornings playing in the gardens with Caroline and her mother and the afternoons sitting beside her mother at the piano in the parlor. Sasha was born with her mother’s love for music and quickly learned to play, much to her mother’s delight.
“Mother,” Sasha innocently asked one day, “why don’t I have a brother or sister?”
The intense, prolonged labor had left Marie scarred and unable to bear another child.
Marie smiled down at her small child and said. “Sometimes, Sasha, a child is born so perfect God decides she is all that is needed to complete a family.” She ran her hand through Sasha’s dark curls and continued. “When you were sent to us, your father and I were complete and no other children were needed.”
Sasha returned her mother’s smile, satisfied with her answer, and returned her fingers to the piano keys.
After several years with no additional children, Theo realized Sasha would be his sole heir and he became determined to teach her all he could about the world of business.
When she was five, Theo hired a private tutor for Sasha who proved to be an apt pupil, learning several languages in written and spoken form. By age ten, Sasha was assisting her father with her newly-acquired bookkeeping skills as her hunger for knowledge continued to burn.
At sixteen, when it had become evident that Sasha had reached her potential with her tutor. Marie and Theo sat in the parlor one night to discuss Sasha’s future.
“Theo, there is a new school opening in New York City, that specializes in Musical Art,” Marie said.
“But, New York is so far away,” Theo said.
“That is true, but don’t you want Sasha to have the very best?”
“You know I do, my love,” Theo answered.
“Then New York is the place for our daughter.”
Theo and Marie sat up late into the evening debating the issue, and eventually he relented, and agreed to allow Sasha to be educated so far from home.
“You are right, Marie, Sasha must have the best education we can provide her,” he finally admitted.
The next day, they had a conversation with Sasha to discuss the school prospect with her.
“Sasha, your father and I have been discussing your continued education and we want to discuss it with you,” Marie said. “There is a new school opening in New York, that we feel would be the best place for you.”
So much like her father, Sasha said, “But it is so far from home, Mother.”
Theo could not help but smile as Sasha’s initial response echoed his own.
“We realize that it will be the furthest you have ever been away from home, Sasha, but we want you to have the best education possible,” Theo said.
“If you think that is best, Father, then I will go.”
Later, Sasha admitted she was excited about traveling and studying in New York City, and agreed that they should travel to New York City to allow her to audition.
Sasha, Theo and Marie traveled to New York City by train two weeks later. Sasha sat at the windows for hours watching the landscape change as they traveled further north and for the first time she saw mountains and large cities.
“The country is so beautiful,” Sasha said to her father as she sat next to him.
“There is so much of the world yet for you to see, Sasha,” Theo said. “I hope that in your lifetime you will have the opportunity to see many more marvelous places.”
Sasha gasped when New York City came into view. “Is this it, Father?” she asked.
“Welcome to New York City, Sasha,” Theo said.
The enormity of New York City overwhelmed Sasha at first, but once they arrived at the Institute of Musical Art, Sasha knew she was meant to be there.
“Are you ready?” Theo asked.
“Yes, Father,” Sasha said, then climbed the steps to the stage and sat before a beautiful piano.
Sasha took a deep breath and played two of the most difficult pieces her mother had taught her to perfection. She was amazed by the sound of her music in such an acoustically perfect room as the music came to life for her. She finished the last piece and turned on the piano bench and smiled at her parents. The instructors were speechless as Sasha stood and walked over to her parents.
“Mother, you are right, this is where I need to study,” Sasha said while they waited for the instructors’ decision.
Her audition performance impressed the instructors so deeply she was offered a scholarship immediately.
“We are very impressed with your daughter’s talent and would like for Sasha to begin this fall,” the Dean of Music told them.
They agreed Sasha would return to New York to begin her studies in the fall and then went to explore the city she would soon call home.
“This city is so amazing,” Sasha said to her mother, as they walked through one of the many parks admiring the monuments and statues.
“I am confident that you will make the most of this opportunity and will have a marvelous time in such a wondrous city,” Marie said while they walked back to the hotel.
During her final month in New Orleans Sasha worked with her father and spent her free time strolling along the streets of the city she loved. One afternoon, Theo found his daughter sitting atop the levee, staring out across the Big Muddy. He sat beside his daughter and they watched the great river flowing by in silence for a while.
Sensing her trepidation, Theo said, “I understand your anxiety, but I know once you arrive in New York, you will blossom.”
“I know you are right, Father,” Sasha said, “but I will miss home so much.”
Theo chuckled. “Nawlins is your blood and will always be your home, my child, and no big, exciting city will ever change that.”
Sasha threw her arms around her father and he held her, so proud of the young woman she was becoming.
“I love you, Father,” Sasha whispered.
“I love you, Sasha,” Theo replied.
They stood together and walked back toward Theo’s office. “There is something I want to show you,” Theo said as he locked the door and led Sasha down the sidewalk.
They walked several blocks until they reached one of the oldest of New Orleans’ cemeteries. He led her to a raised single crypt with Thibodaux carved into the stone. Looking closer, Sasha could see a smaller name and date.
Sasha Thibodaux
1830 – 1880
“My mother and your grandmother,” Theo said to a wide-eyed Sasha. “You look so much like her that I find it eerie, Sasha,” her father said. “I never knew my father who died at sea before I was born. Your grandmother raised me alone, in an era when that was extremely difficult.” Theo paused for a moment, thoughts of his mother surfacing again after many years. “I can remember her coming home late at night, her hands raw and blistered from the long days of labor necessary for her to raise me.”
Sasha could see the tears in his eyes as he continued.
“A stronger woman was never born. She would work long hours and then after a brief sleep, she would wake to check my schoolwork before sending me off to the private school she was struggling to afford.” Theo’s fingers touched the weather-worn granite. “She died when I was fifteen, but through her sacrifice she had given me the knowledge to make my way in the world. I went to work at the docks and saved every penny I could until I had enough to start a company of my own.” Theo looked at Sasha. “You have the inner strength of my mother, and I know you will go to New York and make us proud.”
Sasha, who had remained silent, swallowed hard and pushed back her tears. “I will not disappoint you or Grandmother,” she promised.
“I know,” Theo said and then bent down and kissed the stone above his mother’s name.
They walked home in silence, both relishing the time they had spent together.
In two more days, Sasha would leave for New York. She accompanied Theo to the train station to make her arrangements and helped her mother and Caroline pack her trunks for travel.
“Are you sure you don’t want us to travel to New York with you to see you settled in?” Theo asked that evening.
“Thank you for offering, Father, but it is time I go out on my own,” Sasha said, sounding so grown up to her father.
Theo smiled at his daughter, so pleased at how mature she was for her age. He and Marie were blessed with a very special child, he thought as he watched Sasha prepare for her trip.
The day before her departure, Sasha woke early and went into the garden to pick some flowers. She walked out of the garden gate and allowed her feet to lead her back to the cemetery. She located her grandmother’s crypt and laid her offering of flowers on it. Her fingers traced the carved letters of her namesake, and she felt the strength of the woman laid to rest here. “I will make you proud, Grandmother,” she said. She sat on a small bench next to the crypt and pondered why her father had waited so long to bring her here.
A shadow fell across the bench and Sasha looked up to see Theo standing next to her. She had not heard his approach and was startled to see him there.
“I wanted you to know the strength from which you were made and I felt you were ready,” Theo said in response to her silent question. He sat beside Sasha. “I wish she had lived long enough to have met you,” he said.
“I would have loved that,” Sasha said with a smile.
Theo and Sasha sat in the cemetery for hours as he told her stories from his childhood and made the grandmother she had never met, come to life for her. When he had finished, Theo kissed the stone and was followed in the act by Sasha who whispered, “Goodbye, Grandmother.”
Sasha spent the rest of the day at the office with her father. “Who will keep you organized when I am gone?” she asked, teasing her father.
“Well, I will expect you to work double time when you are home on holidays,” Theo answered.
“What if I don’t like school, Father?” she asked.
“I doubt that will happen, but you can always come home and work here with me,” he answered.
Sasha took comfort in her father’s words as she sat across the desk from him.
Theo quietly opened the desk drawer and pulled out a small gift box and slid it across the desk. Sasha took the box in her hands and opened it, gasping in shock when she opened the lid. Inside was a small golden locket and when she opened it, she found a picture of her parents on the right side and on the left a picture of a woman who had to be her grandmother. “Is this Grandmother?” she asked.
“It is indeed the only photograph of her that was ever taken,” Theo answered. “I have carried it with me until now and today I pass it on to you. If you find yourself homesick or in need of comfort, you can look at us to remind you of your strength.”
“Thank you for such a beautiful gift, Father,” Sasha said.
“You are very welcome, and I want you to know how proud we are of you,” he said with a warm smile.
Sasha looked at the beautiful piece for several minutes and then slipped the chain over her head. The locket rested comfortably on her chest and felt warm against her skin.
That night she dreamed of her adventures ahead and woke the next morning to a hearty breakfast. Theo, Marie and Caroline accompanied her to the train station, where many tears were shed, as their daughter began the first of many journeys to come in her life.
“Take good care, my child,” Theo said as he kissed Sasha’s cheek.
“I will, I promise, Father,” Sasha replied.
“Write as often as you can and let us know how school is going,” Marie said.
“I will, Mother,” Sasha said, swallowing hard against the threatening tears.
Caroline kissed Sasha and handed her a small package. “Open this later,” she said. “I still can’t believe how fast you have grown up,” she said with a sigh as she shook her head.
Sasha laughed softly. “I will see you all soon,” she said and climbed onto the train.
Chapter Two - New York City
Sasha finished dinner in the dining car and then remained in the passenger section for several more hours until the sun dipped below the horizon. She retired to the sleeping cabin and lay on the cot, watching the dark clouds as they passed before a glowing harvest moon. Eventually, the gentle rocking of the car on the tracks lulled her to sleep and she dreamed of her grandmother.
When she woke the next morning, Sasha could barely remember dreaming as she dressed and made her way to the dining car for breakfast. Midmorning the train crossed into Virginia and during a stop to collect additional passengers, Sasha left the train to get some exercise. She stepped into a bright sunny morning, filled with the aromas of fruit as it was brought in from the orchards to the farmer's market located next to the train station. Sasha bought two large yellow apples from a merchant and walked the market aisles until the conductor announced it was time again to board the train.
She savored the sweetness of the apple as she watched the countryside rolling by, the train devouring mile after mile of track. Sasha marveled at a small waterfall, nestled into the cleavage of a mountain and imagined bathing in the cool, clear water. Such beauty she had never imagined so far from her home. The rivers and bayous were almost alien compared to the rolling valleys and deeply-colored mountains she was passing through. The richness of the colored foliage in particular pleased Sasha who had never witnessed the change of the seasons. She loved the ancient oaks and moss-covered cypresses of home, but they were astonishingly different from the elms and maples burning with color.
Sasha also felt a cold crispness in the air, so unlike the humid air which hung thickly in New Orleans. She observed her fellow passengers who unlike herself appeared oblivious to the beauty surrounding them.
When Sasha retired for the evening, she opened the small package Caroline had given her, finding a small, leather-bound notebook inside. She wrote in the small diary, capturing her thoughts and sights of the day. Caroline had made Sasha promise to make frequent entries to document her journey. When she had finished her notes, Sasha tucked the treasured book into her bag and slipped quietly between the sheets. Now accustomed to the movement of the train, Sasha drifted off to a peaceful sleep.
When she awoke the next morning, Sasha peered out the frosted window and saw a sign noting the mileage to New York City to be five more miles. Sasha freshened up and packed away her traveling clothes as the final miles slipped away.
Sasha stepped off the train, made her way through the throng of travelers and saw an older black man standing beside a horse-drawn carriage just outside the station. He approached her and politely asked, "Are you Miss Thibodaux?"
"Yes sir," Sasha said to the warmly smiling man.
"My name is Joshua and I have been sent from the Alyson Boarding House to collect you and your trunks," the man said in his rich, deep voice.
"Why thank you, sir," Sasha said as she handed Joshua the bag she was carrying.
Joshua led Sasha to the carriage and placed her in the comfortable seat. "I will collect your trunks and we will be on our way," Joshua said, before he disappeared into the crowd of passengers bustling to retrieve their baggage.
After a while Joshua returned, loaded the three trunks Sasha had traveled with and then climbed onto the driver's seat of the carriage. He picked up the reins and with a soft clicking sound and a gentle slap of the reins against the horse's neck, they were off.
Joshua remained silent and allowed Sasha to take in the sights of the bustling city, now awake with hundreds of people rushing to and fro as they hurried to tend to their business. When they arrived at the boarding house, Sasha was ushered into her new home by Mary who was the owner of the establishment. She handed Sasha a key as well as a list of the rules and meal times for the boarding house and then swiftly departed, leaving a dazzled Sasha standing in the middle of a large room.
Sasha spent the afternoon putting away her clothing and arranging her room. She was pleased that there was a small desk in front of the room's sole window where she could study while looking out over a small wooded park. Checking the time, Sasha saw it was time for dinner and made her way down to the dining room.
She took a seat at the long table and was introduced to the other five young women sitting around the table by Mary. They were all students of the Institute who would be starting classes with her on Monday. Joshua and his wife Ella served a lovely meal of pork roast, fresh vegetables and fresh-baked yeast rolls. Sasha joined in on the friendly banter around the table and immediately felt drawn to the blonde-haired girl named Amelia from Atlanta, sitting to her right. The other girls, mostly from the northeast or Midwest, chuckled at the southern drawl spoken by both Amelia and Sasha as if they were speaking in a foreign language. Having been properly raised, as southern ladies, neither Sasha nor Amelia commented on the strange accents of the others, though their speech sounded like rabid chipmunks prattling along.
Sasha leaned over and whispered to Amelia. “I am so relieved that there is someone else from the South here.” Amelia grinned back in answer and Sasha was even more pleased to find that Amelia's room was next to hers and there was a small doorway between the rooms. They spent the rest of the evening excitedly discussing their enrollment at the Institute and they agreed to meet again after breakfast to spend the day exploring their new surroundings. Sasha pulled her diary from her desk and made a brief entry before checking the bathing room to see if it was vacant.
Fortunately, it was and Sasha started to draw the water before she went back to her room for her nightgown and towel. When she returned, she poured a small amount of lavender scent into the water and stepped into a hot bath. The lavender scent reminded her of the garden at home and for a moment she drifted into melancholy thoughts. Her fingers grazed the locket on her neck, reminding her to remove it. She set it beside the tub and then she smiled to herself and laid back to enjoy her bath. Sasha returned to her room completely relaxed, turned off the gas lamp and slid between cool, soft sheets to dream her night away.
The next morning, Sasha heard a light tap on the door adjoining her room to Amelia’s. She opened the door to greet her new friend. “Good morning, Amelia.”
“Good morning, Sasha. I am so excited to be exploring the city today,” Amelia said.
“Well, let’s go see what Ella has for breakfast and we will be off for the day,” Sasha said.
Refreshed and fueled with a hearty breakfast, Sasha and Amelia left the boarding house the next morning to begin their exploration. They first discovered the route they would need to take the following day to the Institute and then fanned out from there walking several blocks in each direction, noting bakeries, dress shops, a small museum of fine art and several parks. Amelia was a violinist who was also sixteen and away from home for the first time. She was quick to speak her mind and rapidly became Sasha's best friend. The "Belles", as they would soon be nicknamed, were almost inseparable, spending their free time together whenever possible. They could often be found practicing their music together at the Institute, much to the delight of their instructors.
“That is such a beautiful piece,” Sasha said to Amelia one day as they ended a practice session.
“I thought you might recognize it,” Amelia replied. “I heard you playing it a few weeks ago and decided I would practice the piece as well,” she said with a smile.
“I would say you have definitely tapped into the passion of the
music then,” Sasha said. “You play it so beautifully.”
“Thank
you, Sasha,” Amelia said. Amelia respected Sasha’s opinion and
was proud to receive a compliment from her friend, knowing it was how
she truly felt.
Amelia and Sasha, unlike most of their classmates, were serious about their music. The majority of the other young women were only interested in learning parlor music and landing a fine husband, but the two young friends craved to learn more about music. Together they would spend hours practicing while their peers would be out socializing and enjoying their youth. Sasha's fingers would glide across the ivory as she watched Amelia, eyes closed, caressing the violin with her bow as the notes danced in the air. Frequently, they would find themselves playing the same practice piece, their music joining in beautiful harmony as they became lost in their music.
For their midterm examinations, they were charged with performing a classic selection assigned by their instructor and composing an original piece. Both excelled in performance, but Amelia struggled with composition.
“Oh Sasha, I will never get this piece written,” Amelia declared.
“With my help you will,” Sasha said and moved over next to Amelia.
Sasha tutored her friend in writing the piece and selecting the tempo of the music. They labored together for several hours.
“There, I think we have it now,” Sasha said as she smiled at Amelia. “Try it now,” she said.
Amelia picked up her bow and violin and began to play the piece they had composed. Sasha sat with her eyes closed as she listened with a critical ear to the music Amelia played.
When she finished, Amelia asked, “What do you think?”
Sasha opened her eyes and smiled at her friend. “I think you have created a perfect piece of music for your violin,” Sasha said.
Amelia and Sasha practiced endlessly as they prepared for their exams. Their pursuit of perfection was amply rewarded as they were both at the top of their classes and selected to perform during the school's first Christmas Concert.
Both she and Amelia remained in New York City over Thanksgiving to practice their performances. Joshua and Ella created a terrific Thanksgiving meal for them, complete with sweet potato and pecan pies. After enjoying the feast, Sasha and Amelia opted for a walk. Thanking the couple for the lovely meal, the young women, wrapped in thick coats, stepped out to an overcast afternoon. They walked the streets for an hour before deciding to return home. The temperature dropped quickly and moisture from the heavy clouds that hovered above them escaped to form the first snowflakes Sasha had ever seen.
“Can you believe this?” Sasha said. “We have snow!” Sasha shouted as she raced circles around Amelia.
Amelia laughed as Sasha chased the flakes that melted in her hands as she giggled and danced down the sidewalk. When they returned to the boarding house, Sasha sat at her desk for hours watching the flakes fall softly as they began to accumulate on the ground. Finally exhausted, Sasha succumbed to sleep.
A light tapping at the adjoining door woke Sasha the next morning and when she opened it, Amelia grabbed her hand and rushed her to the window. Sasha gasped at the beauty of the small park that was completely blanketed by the bright snow. Limbs that were until recently covered by beautifully colored leaves were now enveloped by the stark white snow.
The view of the winter blanket was breathtaking to Sasha.
“Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?” she asked.
“Believe it or not, we have had snow in Georgia before,” Amelia teased her friend. “It doesn’t keep me from wanting to go out and play in it though,” she said as she pushed Sasha back onto her bed and ran from the room laughing.
They rushed to dress and bundled up before stepping outside to the crunch of the snow under their feet. Sasha bent to scoop a handful of the frozen liquid in her hands and quickly learned to make her first snowball which she promptly tossed at Amelia, striking her on the shoulder. The battle was on and Amelia fired a snowball back at Sasha and for nearly a half hour they chased one another until the cold and their exhaustion forced them back inside.
Ella, who had stood at the window watching the "Belles" frolicking in the snow, prepared fresh biscuits and thick gravy for their breakfast. Their good manners and heartfelt thanks had made Amelia and Sasha her favorites of the new batch of boarders and Ella did her best to make them feel at home.
“That was a great breakfast,” Sasha said. “Just like home.”
“I am glad that you two enjoy my cooking so much. The others don’t seem to appreciate it,” Ella said.
“I think they are too busy choking on their silver spoons, to appreciate your cooking, Ella,” Sasha said.
“Sasha!” Amelia exclaimed “How rude of you to say that.”
Sasha looked at Ella then at Amelia and then burst into laughter.
“It may not be proper Missy, but it is the truth,” Sasha said with a cheerful wink to Ella.
They spent the rest of the day sitting by the fireplace drinking hot cocoa and talking with Ella and Joshua.
The weeks passed quickly and Theo and Marie arrived in town for the Christmas Concert performance as well as Amelia's parents from Georgia. The two families dined together in the city and sat together during the concert. Both sets of parents were proud of their daughters who were the highlight of the show. Sasha and Amelia performed individually and then together as the grand finale of the show. It was obvious to the entire audience that they were the premier artists of the school, their skills much more advanced than even older students. The theater buzzed with excitement after their performance and their parents’ chests swelled with pride.
For four years, Sasha and Amelia studied together at the Institute, and traveled throughout the northeast performing concerts for the Institute. At the end of their fourth year, Amelia was called home. Her mother had taken ill and her father needed her assistance in raising her younger siblings. Their plans to travel to London to study at King’s College together would have to wait as Amelia attended to her family’s needs.
When Amelia told Sasha of the news, Sasha hugged her tightly. “Everything will work out for the best,” she said as she wiped the tears from her friend’s cheek.
On their last night together, Sasha and Amelia walked the streets of New York, reliving the times they had shared and then sat in Sasha's room for hours talking about London.
“I am so excited about going to London with you,” Amelia said.
“I know, I almost wish we could leave right away,” Sasha said.
“The summer will pass quickly and we will be bound for London before you know it,” Amelia said as she draped her arm around Sasha’s shoulders.
When Amelia stood to return to her room, Sasha embraced her friend. She could see the tears welling in Amelia's eyes and without hesitation, Sasha gently placed her lips on Amelia's for a soft kiss.
"I love you, Amelia," Sasha said to her shocked friend. "Your mother will recover quickly and before you know it, we will be entertaining the royal city of London with our musical talents," Sasha said.
Amelia hugged Sasha tight and whispered "I love you too," and then left the room before she broke down in tears.
Sasha stretched across her bed as she contemplated her future. Her feelings for Amelia confused Sasha. She knew that the desires she felt every time she looked at Amelia were unnatural, desires that should only be shared between a man and his wife. Unnatural or not, Sasha felt as if her heart would leap out of her chest as she lay thinking of kissing Amelia, her mind racing with excitement as she dreamed of a more intimate relationship with her. Every time they touched, Sasha felt a giddy rush of excitement run through her and her body quivered with desire. Sasha knew their touches were growing beyond playful kisses and she looked forward to deepening their relationship while they were abroad. While Sasha had never shared the truth of her feelings with Amelia, she was certain Amelia felt a love that was beyond mere friendship. Sasha fell asleep that night counting the nights before she and Amelia would sail for Europe.
The next morning, Sasha tapped lightly on Amelia’s door. She pushed the door open and found Amelia sitting on the edge of the bed crying. She rushed to her friend and knelt down in front of her. “I know you are disappointed, but right now your family needs you,” Sasha said.
“Have faith that all will work out as it should be, my friend,” she added as she lifted Amelia’s chin. “Are you all set?” she asked.
Amelia wiped the tears from her eyes and nodded her head. “Yes, I am ready.”
Sasha and Joshua accompanied her to the train station. Joshua took her trunks to be loaded onto the train as Amelia and Sasha shared a private good bye. With tear-filled eyes, they promised to write and keep in touch while they were apart.
“I will miss you so,” Amelia said.
“Keep in touch and if you think your mother is well, I will try to come to Georgia for a visit,” Sasha said. Sasha saw the tears in Amelia’s eyes and felt her own rising quickly.
With a final hug, Amelia turned away from Sasha and boarded the train for home.
Joshua remained silent on the ride back to the boarding house, knowing how much Sasha was already missing Amelia.
When they returned back to the boarding house, Joshua helped Sasha down from the carriage. “Don’t fret, Miss Sasha,” he said. “In no time at all the Belles will be together again. I just hope London is ready for the two of you,” he said with a warm smile.
Sasha took comfort from his gentle words. “I hope you are right, Joshua,” she said and with a sigh, entered the house.
For the next three days, Sasha moped around the house as she packed her belongings for her trip home. She would spend the summer in New Orleans before sailing to London in the fall.
Chapter Three – Heartbreak
The excitement of the train journey home was muted by the absence of Amelia, who would have ridden as far south as Atlanta with Sasha, had circumstances been different. Nonetheless, Sasha was going home, having graduated at the top of her class and with plans to travel to London to continue her studies at King’s College. The education and exposure Sasha could receive in Europe would far surpass what she could obtain in the United States. Marie had convinced her that all the prominent musicians spent much of their time performing at the various venues in Europe and Sasha should be no exception.
Two days later when the train arrived in New Orleans, Sasha found her father pacing the platform awaiting her return. He hugged his daughter tightly when she stepped down from the train and paid a steward to deliver her trunks later that day.
“I have missed you so,” Theo said.
“It feels great to be home and I missed you too, Father.”
Sasha reached for her father's hand and they walked home, allowing Sasha to stretch her travel-weary legs. It had been nearly six months since she was home for Christmas and she was shocked when they entered the house. Her mother's raven hair had deep streaks of gray running through it. Sasha did not comment, but silently she worried about her mother's health.
Caroline was no longer living in the house; instead, she had married and was raising a child of her own. Marie said that she visited often and would bring her son James with her to play in the gardens, just as Sasha had when she was young. The memory of those long days in the garden brought a smile to Sasha's face.
“It seems so strange, not having Caroline here,” Sasha commented.
“I am sure you will see plenty of Caroline over the summer,” Marie said.
“Caroline has been such a good friend to you, Mother, what would you do without her?” Sasha asked.
“She is the best friend I have ever had,” Marie said. “I don’t know what I would do without her and I pray it will be many years before I have to find out.”
When she climbed the stairs and opened the door to her room, Sasha realized how much she had matured while she was in New York. Still, the memories of her childhood warmed her heart as she looked at the pictures of her parents and herself on holidays and a picture of her parents’ wedding that graced the bureau. Sasha unpacked her trunks and then went downstairs to join her parents for dinner.
“Are you and Amelia excited about your trip to London?” Theo asked.
“I am afraid Amelia’s journey may be delayed, Father. Her mother has taken ill and she was called home early from school to care for her siblings,” Sasha explained.
Theo and Marie were disappointed to learn of Amelia's mother's ill health. They knew that Amelia was important to their daughter and hoped that she would continue with her plans to travel to Europe.
"Do you still plan to go to London this fall, even if Amelia cannot join you?" Theo asked.
"Yes Father, I am committed to King’s College starting in September and if all goes well, Amelia will follow whenever possible," she answered.
Theo was relieved by this response and cheerily talked about the honeymoon he and Marie had spent in Europe. "I am convinced you will fall in love with Europe just as we did," Theo said.
Marie was smiling as she listened to Theo. "It was a memorable time for us and it was also when you were conceived," she added. "I can still hear your father's shouts echoing in the courtyard when I told him that he would be a father," she said.
"A little excited were you, Father?" Sasha teased.
"I could not wait for you to be born," Theo admitted, the excitement still ringing in his voice.
Sasha chuckled at her father. "He is telling the truth," Marie said. "When I finally went into labor he refused to leave my side, afraid that he would miss your grand entrance."
Theo laughed but did not deny Marie's claim. He was a proud father then and now as he looked at his daughter across the table. What a fine young woman she had grown into, he thought.
“You came into this world as perfection and have not missed a beat,” Theo said to his daughter.
“I think you are just a little biased Father, but thank you,” Sasha said. “Would you two mind if I took a walk?” she asked. “I feel like I still need to stretch my legs.”
“No, not at all,” Theo said, sensing his daughter’s sadness.
After dinner, Sasha took a walk down by the levee. As the sun sank below the horizon, she thought of Amelia and wondered how she was faring with her mother's illness. She would write a letter to her tonight to let her know that she was thinking of her and wishing her mother well. With a deep sigh of loneliness, Sasha returned to the house and bid her parents goodnight, then disappeared into her room.
When she pulled out paper and ink to write to Amelia, Sasha found it hard to find the words she wanted to say to Amelia. She missed her close friend terribly and hoped they could be together again soon, but every time she started to write, the words she wrote were stiff and without the warmth she felt whenever she thought of Amelia. She resolved to send a brief note with well-wishes to her mother and a plea for Amelia to write soon or visit if possible. Sasha wrote Amelia's address on the envelope and put it on her nightstand. She would take it to post the next morning before joining her father in the office.
The weeks of that summer passed quickly. Sasha spent her days working with her father, teasing him endlessly at how disheveled the office had become without her supervision. Each day she would return home with him to find that no letter had been delivered from Amelia and her worry began to grow. Finally, two weeks before she was to sail to London, Sasha walked into the foyer to see a letter lying on the table. She picked up the letter and walked out to the garden. Sitting beneath a shadowy willow, Sasha opened the letter from Amelia. The further she read into the letter, the more her heart was broken. Amelia's mother had made an almost complete recovery from her illness, which was a relief to the entire family. Amelia wrote to Sasha that she was in love with the young, handsome doctor who had nursed her mother back to health and announced that they would be married on October first.
The letter fell from Sasha's hand into her lap as she struggled to hold back her tears. Amelia was in love with someone else, and she would marry when Sasha would not be able to attend. Unable to control her heartbreak, Sasha's tears rolled freely down her cheeks.
She remained in the garden and read over Amelia’s letter several times, her anger toward Amelia growing furiously. She felt her friend had betrayed their love and the more Sasha dwelled on the letter, the angrier she became. All those promises made were just empty words to Sasha as she balled up Amelia’s letter in her hand. “Damn you, Amelia,” Sasha said as her tears returned. Sasha groveled in her bitterness and disappointment until the sun began to set and she walked inside and climbed the steps to her room.
Theo had peeked out the window to look at Sasha several times during the afternoon and wanted to go to his daughter. He knew some bad news had been contained in the letter and he wanted to protect his daughter from the hurt she must be feeling. When Theo couldn’t stand his daughter’s heartbreak any longer, he headed for the door.
“Theo,” Marie called to him.
“Yes, my love?”
“Let her be for now until she has had a chance to sort out her feelings,” Marie said.
“But I can’t stand to see her cry,” Theo said.
“I know, but Sasha is a young woman now and there will be many more tears in her future,” Marie said. “She has to deal with them on her own and will come to us when she needs our advice.”
Theo walked over to kiss Marie. “I know you are right, but still my heart goes out to her,” he said.
“You have been a compassionate father to Sasha,” Marie said, “but she must deal with these feelings on her own.”
Marie’s words did not stop Theo from walking to the window periodically to peer out at Sasha. He returned to reading his newspaper and when the door from the garden opened and closed, he looked up in time to see Sasha rush up the stairs to her room. His heart ached to go to Sasha and soothe away the hurt and anger she was feeling, but his common sense and the look he got from Marie kept him in his seat.
That evening, the words poured from her pen as she wrote to Amelia, telling her how pleased she was for Amelia and her fiancé. Her anger finally subsiding, Sasha wished the two of them the best of luck. Sasha realized that Amelia could never know how much the news broke her heart. The love that Sasha had for Amelia would never be reciprocated and Sasha could not bear to see her in love with anyone else. As painful as it was, Sasha knew this would be the last time she would correspond to the woman that had meant so much to her and when she sealed the envelope, Sasha knew another chapter of her life had ended.
Sasha found solace in visiting her grandmother’s crypt when life's hardships closed in around her, and she found herself walking to the cemetery after posting her letter to Amelia. She sat beside her grandmother's crypt and drew strength from the woman laid to rest there. Sasha understood that her grandmother would have felt the terrible pain of losing a love when her husband was lost at sea and somehow she had the fortitude to continue to raise Theo alone, never remarrying or relying on others for assistance. Sasha knew that she would survive the heartache of losing Amelia and walk the path that fate had set before her feet.
Though she struggled with the knowledge that she would be traveling alone in Europe, Sasha remained focused on her goals and would not allow her separation from Amelia to become an obstacle. She was young and she knew there would be many more adventures to come in her life.
Forcing a smile, Sasha stood and walked to her father’s office to begin her day. Theo sensed a change in his daughter, but knew her well enough to know that if she wanted to talk, she would come to him. Sasha spent the entire day setting up billing invoices for the next few months and when it was time to head home for the evening, Theo had to prompt her that it was time to go.
“Sasha, it is time for us to head home. Your mother will be putting dinner on the table soon and you know how she frets if we are late,” he teased.
She had become so immersed in her work that she had lost all sense of the time passing.
“Just one more minute, Father,” Sasha said as she filed the last invoice. Sasha looked up at her father and smiled. “There, I am ready now, Father.”
Theo draped his arm protectively around Sasha’s shoulder as they walked. “Father, why is the human heart so fragile?” she asked.
“The best answer I can determine is that for the heart to remain soft and tender enough to fall deeply in love, it must remain vulnerable. When love is betrayed or fails to blossom, the heart temporarily abandons the idea of love and the hurt occurs.” Theo sighed deeply and continued. “The strong heart mends itself quickly and grows stronger, though it remains vulnerable to hurt and heartache, for the only other option is to grow distant and cold, unable to love as the heart was intended.”
Sasha contemplated his words as they walked toward home. She realized her father was right and though her wounded heart would take some time to heal, she would become stronger and better prepared for the next time she fell in love.
Sasha slipped her arm through Theo’s and they walked in silence until they arrived home. Theo then turned to his daughter and said, “I know Amelia meant the world to you, but her loss will set you on the path to find the one that is right for you.”
“I know you are right, Father,” Sasha said. “I just have to keep telling my heart that, until I can convince it that life will go on and I will find love again,” she said as she pushed through the door. “Thank you, Father.”
“For what am I receiving your thanks?” Theo asked.
“For being the best father I could ever ask for,” Sasha said.
Theo was glad that Sasha had chosen that moment to embrace him. The brief moment allowed him to brush back the tears that had filled his eyes and threatened to roll down his cheeks.
“I am so very proud of you, Sasha,” Theo said as he stroked the top of his daughter’s head.
“I was starting to get worried about you two,” Marie said as she stepped into the hallway when she heard the door open. She had witnessed the tender moment between father and daughter and chose to rescue her loving husband from the tears that threatened to fall.
“I told you she would be fretting,” Theo teased Sasha. “It’s all Sasha’s fault,” Theo said. “We could have been here earlier, but she felt it necessary to create invoices for the next year or two.”
“You had better be thankful she has been there to get you organized again, my love,” Marie said to tease her husband.
“Hah, that backfired on you, didn’t it, Father?” Sasha asked.
“I reckon it did at that,” Theo said. “So what’s for dinner?” he asked to change the subject.
The day arrived for Sasha’s departure for London and after tender farewells to her family, she boarded the train that would carry her back to New York, from where she would sail across the Atlantic. Though she had made the trip many times during her studies at the Institute, Sasha still loved the route the train traveled. The train stopped briefly in Atlanta to take on additional passengers and Sasha remembered the times she had waited for Amelia to board the train so they could travel to New York to continue their studies. Sasha felt a sharp pang of heartache as she realized that those days were long gone and she was moving on with her life. She regretted that Amelia would not be joining her, but Sasha was excited about the prospects awaiting her in Europe.
When she reached New York City, Joshua and Ella met her at the train station and drove her to the harbor. Sasha was happy to see the married couple who had made her stay in New York City so pleasant and wished for a moment they could join her in London.
“It seems like forever since you have been here,” Ella said as she hugged Sasha tightly. “I hope that when you have a chance to return home, you will spend a night or two with us,” she said.
“You can bet I will,” Sasha said.
Ella had packed Sasha a bag of sandwiches and fruit for her trip and after a tearful goodbye, Sasha boarded the ship.
Chapter Four – London and beyond
The crossing of the vast ocean would take nearly five days and aside from the deep-blue waters there was little for Sasha to see. She spent several hours writing in her diary each day, a new volume to start a new journey. The first that Caroline had given her before she traveled to New York City had long been filled and was safely packed away in Sasha’s trunk, safeguarding her memories from that era. The serenity of the ocean also inspired her to compose several new pieces and she was eager to sit at a piano to play them.
The screeching of the gulls alerted her to the proximity of land and when she looked off the starboard deck, she could see the first land she had seen in days. Her heart raced in her chest as she gathered her small travel bag and waited for the ship to reach port. The ocean liner would dock in Liverpool and Sasha would spend the remainder of the day traveling south by train on the final leg of her journey to London.
Sasha settled into the stiff seat on the train and waited for the luggage to be loaded onto the train. When the train finally blew its whistle and the wheels began to churn, she leaned over to stare out the window at the English countryside. The rolling hills and lush valleys were reminiscent of her train trips to New York, but instead of cattle and crops, sheep dotted the lush valleys.
The sun was fading quickly as the train pulled into the London train station and she hoped she would arrive at the hotel before nightfall.
Sasha took a carriage ride to the Jolly Saint Ermins which would be her home at least for the beginning of her life in London. It was a quaint stone building which held the promise of a sanctuary from the warm days in the summer, but would probably remain chilly in the winter months. Nonetheless, it would be her first home in London.
After being shown to her room, Sasha unpacked her trunks and made her way to the dining room for a light dinner before retiring for the evening. She melted into the soft linens and slept until the morning sun crept through her window.
Sasha was eager to be outside exploring the vast city of London. She located King’s College and spent several hours touring the facilities with one of the students as her tour guide. Classes would begin the following week, which would allow Sasha plenty of time to explore.
Though she would get lost several times her first few days in the city, Sasha would discover many fascinating places. The Royal Albert Hall in Westminster was one of the locations she found on one of her adventures, and she opened the doors and stepped inside the wondrous concert hall where her mother had performed in her youth. The spacious theatre was graced with comfortable seating and Sasha was surprised to find a piano set up on the stage. Her curiosity ignited, Sasha stepped on the stage and sat at the piano. As her fingers stroked the smooth ivory, her heart raced at the purity of the sound as it vibrated through the acoustically perfect hall.