Ballsack
© 2010 by s0nicfreak
@ www.buymyebooks.com
All rights reserved.
Chapter One
I wasn’t sure how my fascination with ballsacks began. I’d always been like a normal girl, living in a normal town, going to a normal school. I thought about ballsacks a normal amount. But one day it was like a light switch was flicked on in my head, and I started thinking about ballsacks all the time. And for some reason, today I was particularly bothered by the fact that I had never seen a ballsack in person. Sure, I’d seen hundreds - maybe millions - on the internet... big ones, small ones, yellow ones, pink ones, brown ones... but not a single ballsack in person. So I sat in class, unable to focus on what Mr. Griffin was saying as he wrote numbers on the board, seeing nothing but the 3s turning 90 degrees clockwise to become ballsacks.
I had to see a ballsack in person today. I would see a ballsack today, I decided. So when the class bell rang, I took a deep breath and headed to the boy’s restroom.
“That’s the boy’s bathroom, Salcha!” My friend Emily exclaimed, grabbing my arm as I went for the door. Apparently she had been walking next to me and talking for awhile, but I was so focused I hadn’t noticed.
“Oh... so it is,” I said, pretending it had been an accident. “I was just... worried about the next math test, and I wasn’t paying attention.”
“You’re such an airhead sometimes,” Emily said cheerily, the way she said everything. “It’s ok, I’ll help you study for the math test!”
I forced a smile, and resisted calling Emily a pot for saying I was an airhead sometimes. I cursed internally as we walked away from the boy’s restroom, and began plotting times I would be able to avoid Emily and sneak back. We walked to our next class, Emily chattering about times and places we could study together. Nodding to pretend I was listening, I wondered why I was friends with this annoyingly cheery girl. “Alright, then,” she was saying through a genuine smile, “I’ll come to your house at five this afternoon.” I was nodding in agreeance before I could stop myself. With a sigh I sat down in my next class. After walking home and doing some of my chores, that would only leave me about an hour to look at ballsacks on the internet before Emily arrived to help me study for a test that I was more than prepared for.
With a wave Emily headed to her desk. “I’ll save you a seat at lunch, Salcha!”
“It’s Sally.” I said flatly. I detested the name that my father had given me. He’d named me after a town in Alaska where he had worked building part of the Trans-Alaska Pipeline. Something about the pipeline had made his sperm all wonky, causing me to come out dark with brown eyes and black, curly hair, rather than pale with red-hair and green eyed like him and my mom. At least, that’s how my mom explained things.
Instead of paying attention to Mrs. Sanchez’s droning about history, I looked at the back of the head of the boy in front of me and imagined what his ballsack must look like. Would it look like the ballsacks on the internet, or were all internet ballsack pictures photoshoped? Finally I was struck with a genius idea - why not ask the boy what his ballsack looked like? Or even if he would be willing to let me see his ballsack? I tried to remember the boy’s name - Jason? Jim? - and hastily scribbled a note; “Hey J, wats ur ballsack look like?”
With a glance to make sure the teacher wasn’t looking, he wrote a reply and passed the note back. “Like ur mom.”
“Real mature.” I said quietly, crumpling the note in my hand. The crumpled paper looked like half a ballsack. I slipped it into my pocket so that I could add it to my collection of things that look like ballsacks when I got home. So far the collection included seventeen balls of paper, three rocks, a picture of a chin cut out of a newspaper, and one peanut shell.
Emily didn’t share my next class, so as soon as we headed our separate ways, I made a bee-line for the boy’s restroom. With a look inside to check that it was empty, I slipped inside and locked myself in one of the stalls. Now I’d play the waiting game. Eventually someone would come in to use a urinal, and then I would look through the small space where the door of the stall met the wall and catch a glance of a real live ballsack.
I had to wait a long time. After awhile, I got bored and pulled out my phone so I could look at some pictures of ballsacks. I wondered if I could manage to take a picture of a ballsack once someone came in to use a urinal... but it probably wasn’t going to work with my crappy phone-camera. Finally, someone came in. I realized that he might see my pink shoes and realize I was a girl, but fortunately he didn’t look around too much. He turned away from me to face the urinals, and unzipped.
He turned away from me! I felt like an idiot. Of course he’d turn away from me. I couldn’t see his ballsack from this angle. Damn. I waited for the boy to leave, and then went to class to plot another ballsack-seeing method.
“Nice of you to join us, Sally,” the teacher said as I entered. Class was already half over.
“Yeah,” I said, not sure what else to say. I took my seat as the teacher continued talking about who cares because it wasn’t ballsacks, and tried to think of other ways to see a ballsack. After a few minutes I saw one of my classmates - Nicole, I knew her name was - quietly leave the room. Two months ago Nicole had given birth, so a few times a day she left class to pump breastmilk. Nicole had probably seen a few ballsacks... well, at least one, I figured, and decided to ask her how to see some at lunch.
Chapter Two
“Over here, Sally!” Emily was waving at me as I entered the cafeteria with my lunch tray in my hands. I sighed as I remembered that she had said she would save me a seat. She’d saved a whole small table; there were long tables in rows in the middle of the room, and small tables on the sides. I scanned the small table where the mothers usually sat - they tended to sit together - until I found Nicole. “Just a sec,” I said as I sat my lunch tray on Emily’s table. I walked over to Nicole. “Hey, Nicole... could I talk to you for a sec?”
She looked at me a bit confusedly, but tentatively said, “Sure.” Her table-mates looked at me expectantly.
“Could you, uh, come sit with me?” I asked, motioning to my table, where Emily waved.
“I guess,” Nicole said as she picked up her tray and followed me back to the table.
“Hi, Nicole!” Emily said happily as I sat down next to her and Nicole sat across from me. “How’s the baby?”
“Good.” Nicole said flatly.
“Is it a boy or a girl? What did you name it?” Emily continued drilling.
“A girl... I named her Isabella.”
“Oh, wow,” Emily said. “You know, I’ve heard that’s a really popular name. When she gets into school, there will probably be a bunch of kids with the same name! But at least it will be easy for her teachers to remember...”
“Is this what you wanted to talk about?” Nicole said to me impatiently.
“No, sorry - sush, Emily.” Emily pretended to zip a zipper over her lips, and I took a deep breath. “I have something to ask you, Nicole, and it’s going to sound crazy, but I am completely serious.”
“Yeah?”
“Okay... you’ve seen ballsacks, right?”
Nicole began to stand to leave.
“Wait! Come on, I’m serious,” I said. She sat again, reading my expression.
“Yeah,” She said finally, “I’ve seen ballsacks.”
“How do you do it?”
“Do what?”
“See ballsacks.”
Nicole laughed. Emily looked at me like I was crazy. “I’m serious!” I exclaimed.
“I never, like, set out to see ballsacks,” Nicole said when she composed herself. “It just kind of happened in the process of things.”
“In the process of things?”
“Yeah, you know...”
“But Salcha,” Emily interjected, “teen sex can lead to things like STDs and unplanned pregnancy!”
Now I laughed. Nicole stood, saying, “Yeah, I’m going back over here.”
“I’m sorry, and thanks!” I called after her.
“You shouldn’t have teen sex, Salcha!” Emily continued warning me. “Why do you even want to see ballsacks anyway?!”
“I’m not planning on having teen sex,” I reassured Emily.
“Good,” She said, “but if you do, you can get free condoms from the school nurse, no questions asked.”
“Good to know.”
“But you’ll still go to Hell.”
“What?”
“If you have sex before you’re married, my pastor says, even if you use a condom you’ll still go to Hell.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“But I suppose most of your friends will be in Hell for all kinds of reasons anyway, so I guess you’ll get to be with them.” There was that bright side Emily always seemed to find.
I stopped listening to Emily then and looked at my lunch. The meat - the menu said it was Salisbury steak, but I knew from experience that it tasted more like an old shoe in watery rat droppings - kind of looked like half a ballsack. I considered taking it home to add to my collection of things that look like ballsacks, but I figured the gravy would stain my pocket. I made a mental note to bring a plastic bag to school the next time I would be having Salisbury steak for lunch. I’d probably have to move my collection to the freezer after adding the Salisbury steak. I wondered how long Salisbury steak could stay frozen before it started looking weird and no longer looked like half a ballsack.
“What’s wrong?” Emily asked suddenly, breaking me out of my thoughtful trance.
“Huh?” I replied confusedly.
“You’re not eating,” she said. I looked at her plate, which was empty, and back at my still-full plate. I guessed I had lost track of time. I scoped a forkful of food into my mouth and smiled slightly to tell Emily nothing was wrong.
“You’re being so weird today, Salcha,” Emily said. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing is going on,” I said through a mouthful of Salisbury steak, spraying a bit of watery rat droppings - I mean gravy on Emily’s shirt as I spoke. “Sorry.”
“Oh, darn!” Emily said, standing while blotting the spot with a napkin. “I’d better get some water on this before it stains!” She quickly put her tray with the other dirty trays and left the cafeteria, heading toward the restroom.
I quickly finished my lunch so I could leave before she came back. I placed my tray on top of Emily’s and left the cafeteria, heading in the opposite direction than Emily had gone. When I was around a corner, I glanced at my watch. There were only fifteen minutes left of lunch hour; I had majorly lost track of time. I sighed and leaned back against what I thought was a wall, but which was actually a door. I caught myself just before I fell into the boy’s locker room.
The boy’s locker room! That had to be a great place to see ballsacks. Why hadn’t I thought of that before? I put my ear to the door, trying to discern if there was anyone inside. When I didn’t hear anything, I opened the door just enough to see inside. I didn’t see anyone, so with a glance around the hallway to make sure no one was watching, I tentatively slipped inside.