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TARNISHED CHOICES – Book One
Copyright © 2009 Crymsyn Hart. All rights reserved worldwide.
ISBN 978-1-936165-12-4
Cover Art Designed By Anastasia Rabiyah
Edited By Traci Markou
Published by Purple Sword Publications, LLC
Except for review purposes, the reproduction of this book in whole or part, electronically or mechanically, constitutes a copyright violation.
Tarnished Choices
By
Crymsyn Hart
PROLOGUE
Two years before…
“Cassie, will you hurry up? We’re going to be late!”
Poking my head out of the window, I saw Stephanie, my older sister, in the driveway with the car running. She was as anxious to get up to the lake as I was. Eric was waiting for her. We had told Mom and Dad we were going to meet up with the rest of the cheerleading squad for our end of the year cookout. Only half of that was true. Stephanie was going to sneak away and leave me on my own to have fun with the other cheerleaders. Part of me shivered to think why I had joined up with the peppy pains in my ass in the first place. I think it was to show Stephanie I could be just as good at it as she was.
“I’m coming. I just needed to find my eyeliner,” I yelled back. A groan escaped her lips when I looked at myself in the mirror one more time. I was the different one in the family. My hair was sunset red. I had pale skin and green eyes, and accented them with heavy eyeliner. My face was pale so I didn’t need any make-up to pull off my Goth attire. All my clothes were second-hand bargains and treasures I had plucked off the dollar rack from the local thrift store. I checked my appearance one more time, satisfied with the burgundy and white striped tights that made my legs look like candy canes, short black lacy miniskirt, and my favorite Korn T-shirt. None of the other cheerleaders even listened to the same genre of music I did. When I tried out for the squad last year, they all thought at first that I was some kind of a freak and had humored me because I was Stephanie’s little sister.
Stephanie...captain of the squad, yearbook editor, National Honors, and the list went on. My sister was the all-American girl, reddish-blonde hair, great body, perfect tits, and a smattering of freckles on her buttermilk skin. Nothing was wrong with her. She was even perky without putting on an act, and we got along great. She accepted me for my moods. No questions asked. When our parents thought I was doing drugs or into some weird occult shit, she told them to lay off. I was following the beat of my own Gothic drum.
I smiled, thinking about her. We’d been keeping Eric a secret from our parents, since Mom was against Stephanie seeing him. He was the local bad boy, but hotter than hell and adored Stephanie. I, on the other hand, had actually befriended most of the vivacious girls on the cheerleading squad and showed them there was more to image than what they thought. Of course it had taken me bringing them to the State Championships last year to do it, but hey, no big deal. Now my sister was getting ready to graduate, and the girls were in line for a new captain. Everyone said it was me. I laughed at the thought. It really was funny, but hell, whatever.
“Took you long enough,” my sister muttered. She revved the engine and we headed out of town. She had the radio on, and I turned it up to listen to the new Godsmack song until the bass became a second heartbeat. I got so lost in the music I hadn’t realized she was yelling at me. I turned it down.
“What?”
“I asked are you excited about being named captain?”
I shrugged. It was never a life goal of mine, being leader of a pack of girls who egged on sweaty jocks. “Guess so. What about you? Looking forward to college?”
“I’m not going.”
Her statement was a bombshell. I turned the radio off. “What do you mean you’re not going? Mom and Dad are going to kill you! What gives? You’re not pregnant, are you?”
Stephanie laughed. “No. Thank God. I talked to Mom, and told her I’m joining the Army. She doesn’t like it, but what’s she going to say about it?”
I looked at my sister and started laughing. She was not serious. I glanced out the window and watched the scenery whiz by. We had left the town a while ago, and now there was nothing but country, woods, and a few farms in between. It was quiet with not a lot of other cars on the road.
“So?”
“So what?” I asked, still gazing at the scenery. The trees were getting denser and the foliage was greener the higher we climbed into the mountains. The air had a fresher scent to it, reminding me of the aroma after a spring rain. Looking into the forest, I saw a glimmer of something move out of the corner of my eye. I thought it was a deer.
“Stephanie, look out!” I shouted.
It was too late. The car hit something in the middle of the road. At that moment, I saw the metal of the hood bend around whatever we hit. There was nothing there and yet we had hit something solid. I covered my face with my arms, trying to protect it from flying glass. The air bag blew out and silenced Stephanie’s screams. She gripped the wheel and spun off the road. Everything happened so quickly. One minute we were on the highway and the next we were halfway in the trees. Pain erupted in my leg, arm, and head. The world grew fuzzy. I tried to think straight, but no matter how much I tried to hang onto the light, the darkness swooped in and claimed me.
CHAPTER ONE
Here I lie, waiting for eternity to claim me.
The earth was black underneath me, freshly dug, and the scent stung my nose. The grass had flattened from the first frost, coating it white with frozen dew. Trees around me were dying, going into hibernation. Brown, paper-thin remnants of foliage skittered across the gravel paths that criss-crossed the graveyard. Soldiers of stone waited, silently guarding over plots that have seen hundreds of years with no one to tend them, save the old caretaker who carelessly chops the hay from around the stones. He doesn’t do a good enough job revealing the names of the dusted inhabitants.
For years I had been normal, without a care in the world. Hell, I'd been a Gothic cheerleader and my sister, captain of the squad. Being a peppy chick was fun, even though it had taken the squad a little while to get used to my humor. Then, two years ago, I was in a car wreck with my sister. We had both survived; me with a broken arm and leg and knocked unconscious. When I had woken up a couple of days later, I had started seeing things a little differently. The first thing I'd noticed was people had strange glows around them. Some were so bright I could barely look at them and others were pitch black as shadows. These were the very beings who tried to influence us. Ghosts walked dimly through walls. I told my sister all about this, and she accepted my explanation. She might have been peppy, but she understood my eccentricities.
My eyes were closed. This was my favorite time of day, the space hovering between full night and dawn. Stars twinkled in the distance, fading from the ribbon of sunrise weaving itself into the hair of night. It was the only time that brought me true comfort. My breath formed foggy white vapor while I waited. My red hair spilled out from my cloak, rippling on the dirt like watered-down blood. Everyone has told me if I were truly Goth, then I’d dye it black to make my pallor even whiter. I didn’t see the point. My hair was the one thing that made me stand out. It used to do wonders against all the fake blonde bombshells on the cheerleading squad. My social calendar was always fuller than theirs. It attracts attention wherever I go. Then again, so do my black clothes, the black lipstick, and the small ankh tattoo perched on the edge of my eye. It reminded me of a convict’s teardrop. It had appeared after my accident, a newborn birthmark, showing where I had been touched by the otherworld. Vibrant eyes peeked out from behind my lazy, long lashes.
The ground below me was cold from the night exposure, seeping into my bones even through the cloak I wore. I’ve been here for hours, taking in the silence. This was one of my favorite spots to lie, listening to the nothingness. Occasionally, it was broken by a howling dog, a snapping twig, but nothing to make me worry. The cemetery was a secret place only known to me and the caretaker I have seen here and again. Normally, I’m leaving when he comes in, or vice versa, depending on the time of day. I’ve come here during the noontide hours, but the surrealism of the atmosphere comes out at night along with the other unearthly creatures who await the sinking sun.
I’ve seen my share of hovering mist forms rising from hard-packed earth when the sun descends. They float over to me, knowing I am alive, and try to scare me. Running shivers under my skin and down my spine, tickling with their dead, formless hands, trying to terrify the living. Hardly anything makes me budge once I’m settled in for the night. Not even a sudden BOO would force me to flee. The dead don’t understand. This is the only safe place I can go when my nightmares take shape and break into the waking world to hunt me down. It’s only on the hallowed earth of graveyards I feel the safest. Even among the dead, there are beings phantoms are afraid of. So I sought shelter on hallowed ground when my fears remember that I still exist.
For years, I had always thought angels and demons were things of myth. However, there was a whole world hidden from mortals, existing beside them. They strolled next to us every day, influencing us. A whisper here and a little nudge there. Anything to push humanity on the paths they want our souls to fall upon. Only on rare occasions do mortals see the beings that walk beside them. Some psychics see them and steer clear. Other sensitives know they are there. I just happened to be one they won’t leave alone. Then again, things are more complicated than what they seem. Some would say I was cursed, others, blessed. I don’t know what to label the last two years of my life. All I know is I never asked for what I have become.
I could resort to living in a church or some kind of nunnery, but I’m not Catholic and my belief in God shattered a long time ago. The only thing I believe for certain was that demons exist. I met one. His hooves were cloven, and he had black wings of tattered leather with a wingspan to eclipse the sun. I’ve seen him, known him as only a lover can. He came to me in the guise of a human. I loved him as any mortal would until he showed me his identity. I knew then my soul was damned. Even while I run from him, part of me loves him still. Part of me craves him and also yearns for the other angel I have known. I was not sure what twist of fate made me the spotlight of a celestial tug of war.
Staring up at the sky, I watched the sun burn away the night. The sudden bursting of color made my eyes wince, but it also reminded me of the struggle for my soul. They had told me I had to choose and soon.
CHAPTER TWO
Six months after total recovery, I had given up the cheerleading squad and celebrated my eighteenth birthday. My arm and leg had healed by the time school started, but with my new abilities it was hard to be around all the happy people. They grated on my nerves. Even school was difficult, but I dealt and strangely enough half the squad remained my friends. I was going to be their fearless leader. I also think it had to do with me still getting more dates than they, and I had won State the year before, so I was somewhat of a local Gothic hero.
I sat in a coffee shop, thinking about college. My parents were on me to go, now that I was their only hope for a good education in the family. Stephanie had joined up with the Army, as she had said she would. Mom hadn’t believed my sister until she was actually getting on the bus to go to boot camp. College for me was a long way off. I was still learning to deal with the new mystical twists and turns my life was taking. I learned new things about my amazing brush with death every day. Recently, I had come to understand I could speak with the ghosts I saw haunting the cemetery I liked to frequent. I had found it on a walk, trying to clear my head. It was buried away deep in the woods next to an old rundown church. I had followed a barely visible path, covered in weeds and pine needles and when I emerged, there was a small country tabernacle. It was rundown. The paint peeled and the forest had started reclaiming it. However, the cross was still above the door and the cemetery was in the back. It was a rather vast one, forgotten by time and man. At once, when I crossed the threshold of the holy ground, I felt at peace and didn’t have to worry about the way my life had diverged. It was just me and the open air.
On my third visit, I came across an elderly caretaker who, at first, I thought was a spirit, but when I sat and we saw one another, I realized he was very much alive. He nodded and went on his way, push-mowing the grass with a lawnmower with blades that were so dull they barely bent the grass, but no matter, he kept on working. We never spoke. There was a silent understanding between us. He would leave me be if I wasn’t about to start sacrificing cats to some pagan deity. I yearned to go there now, but I had promised Sadie I would meet her at the coffee shop to do a little studying for our Chem. test.
Sipping my coffee, I realized the café was packed. Even being in a small town, people liked it and Starbucks had made itself into a corner store. A man sat down across from me. I didn’t think much of it, figuring he wanted a place to rest his feet. People had done it before, sharing the same table for a few moments to get their mind in order and then they were on their way again. I didn’t care. After a moment, I checked my watch, wondering where Sadie was. It was going on an hour after our time and normally she was on time. Punctual and peppy. She was the new captain of the squad and kept me apprised of all the goings on, even asking me to sit in on a few routines to help choreograph. Even though I wasn’t on the squad anymore, she made me part of it.
From my watch, I looked up at the stranger sharing my table, wondering why he had not moved on. He was delicious eye candy, and something I wanted to slam onto my bed. I licked my lips. Fleeting thoughts of the wonders he could do for me in bed passed through my mind. His hay-colored hair was bound back in an elastic. Leather pants hugged his form, and a blue silk shirt lit up his blue eyes. He was not from around here. No one I knew wore clothing like that. In a small town everyone talked. Mostly they talked about me and how I dressed, but I didn’t care. I had gotten used to it. If he's a tourist, would he mind a twist in the hay with a Goth chick like me?
Already, I felt those full lips pressed against mine with his hands winding through my hair. His skin was Easter-lily pale, and his pointed nails caressed the coffee cup he held, trying to leech the warmth from the porcelain. I closed my eyes for a brief moment, imagining those nails teasing my nipples and scratching my tummy while they made their way down to secret places. His lips would touch mine and we would spark together. I could already feel those nails running along my thigh and under my plaid skirt to clutch my ass. His grip would be firm and the bulge in his pants would dictate a wonderful erect cock that wanted to slip inside my wet depths.
Biting my lip, I opened my eyes and blushed. He caught me looking at him. I averted my eyes back to my Chemistry book. Lusting is the better term, I thought. If only desires were the real thing, then a girl wouldn’t need Cock on a Stick to make her happy. Too bad he’s a tourist. Too bad he might think of me as jailbait.
A smile twitched on his features when he sipped at his coffee.
“Cassie, I’d be more than happy to indulge in your wildest fantasies. I might even present some you have never imagined. And you are nowhere near jailbait.”
It took me a moment to realize he was talking to me. I looked up from my book and saw his gaze settled right on mine. “Excuse me?” Had I heard this guy right? Was he answering my thoughts? Was that even possible? If so, maybe he was like me. I’d never met anyone else akin to me before. I tried to look at his aura, but I was not seeing anything. I was getting a headache from trying.
“No need to be coy with me. I know you heard me.” He smiled. I surfed the room with my eyes, wondering if others were looking, but I realized they weren’t even fazed at what he had said. Or they hadn’t heard him at all.
“You can hear my thoughts? What am I thinking now?” I cleared my mind and thought of annoying white noise and a high-pitched beep. I made my mind blank and snowy as an out of tune television station and turned up the volume full blast. I watched him wince.
“It’s maddening, if that’s what you mean. But come now, we are beyond petty tests, Cassie. But if you must insist. What do you see with me?”
Carefully, I closed my book and stared at this guy’s aura. This time I was able to see it. His energy field didn’t seem any different from anyone’s in the café. Yet there was something off about him. He was out of place among the people in the coffee shop. Somehow, I figured even I was below him, the way he held himself. He wasn’t uptight about addressing me about my gifts. Even my mother avoided the subject that her daughter was a freak.
Ever since the accident, there had been distance between my parents and me. Even between my sister, and we were closer than best friends. Stephanie had described it right. I didn’t fit in with the world anymore. I was on the outside looking in. Her comment had made sense at how I felt when I was with other people. I wasn’t complexly at ease with the world anymore. Somehow when I woke up with the tattoo, it had signified I was apart from mortality. This guy had the same air to him, only more so than me. He definitely did not belong in a café, drinking coffee, and conversing with just anyone.
“What are you?” I asked.
“I was hoping you’d ask that.” He smiled and I noticed he had slightly pointed canines.
Is he a vampire? I had always wanted to believe in the romantic ideal of tall, dark, and gorgeous coming to me at night and rescuing me from my boring life of Gothic cheerleading. Then again, life wasn’t so boring anymore and, in the past few months, I had not come across anything scarier than a wayward poltergeist who thought I could be fodder for its temper. Nevertheless, it was daytime so he would incinerate. Scratch the undead idea. Suddenly the café melted into darkness, and all I saw was him. He stood before me perfectly naked. His skin was ivory. A chiseled chest and well-defined arms hinged my fantasy even more. I moved my eyes to his lower abdomen and noticed a magnificent cock waiting to be played with, resting against his inner thigh. And he had a wingspan any raven would envy. Fear and amazement burst through me. Suddenly his wings burned up in a blaze of red and gold fire. Black horns sprouted on his forehead. His mouth filled with sharp teeth, and his fingers grew sharp claws. His wings became that of a bat, and he had cloven hooves for feet joined to the hairy legs of a goat. His cock hadn’t changed. I jumped from the vision, not having expected what he had revealed to me. Then I was slammed back into the café. He sat in front of me calmly, sipping his coffee. A playful grin adorned his lips. He tried to contain his glee from frightening me. I sensed he was getting off on this. I noticed his eyes had gone from blue to orange.
“What are you?”
He leaned in. I smelled sulfur on his breath. “I’m what nightmares are made of. And I’ve come to make yours come true.” He grabbed my wrist. Without warning, I was falling into oblivion with him above me. The world became surrounded in darkness and dry heat. His gleeful smile had been replaced by lust. We landed on something deliciously soft. I glanced around, discovering I was encircled by heaps of luscious pillows.
He pinned my hands above my head. He was strong, and I couldn’t get away. I wanted to run my hands across his chest to see if it was real flesh or made of stone. From the hardness against my thigh, I could tell he was as excited as I was. His aura pressed against mine, sending hot shivers along my skin and making me quiver inside. I arched my back at the sensation, watching him smile. He leaned in and breathed in my ear, tickling my neck, and I bit back a moan. He was like no human guy I had ever been with. No man could do what he did.
“What’s your name?” I asked.
He chuckled. It was deep and rumbled in his chest like a finely turned instrument. “If I tell you, then you’ll have complete power over me.”
He let go of my wrists with one hand and let his fingers trail along the side of my cheek. The points of his nails scratched my face. I shivered. The sensation rippled through me, and I had to swallow down a groan.
“If you don’t tell me your name, then I won’t be able to call it out when you want me to.”
God, I want him. Does he know what he does to me? Probably. Why doesn’t he take me? If he can sense my thoughts then he must know how I feel. Unless he’s teasing me.
“Who said anything about doing the naughty things running through your mind? Maybe I just wanted this to be a chaste meeting.” He brought his lips to mine in a gentle kiss with a little tongue to savor me. He tasted of smoky wood with a hint of spicy sulfur. He was intoxicating, and I returned the kiss a little more enthusiastically than he did. His smile pressed against my mouth, but he did not push himself on me anymore. I sensed he truly was being a gentleman and underneath the surface of his defined exterior was a beast waiting to be unleashed. The fire of his eyes yearned to burn away my soul, but his power was held in check. Finally, he drew away, letting me breathe.
“My name is Daniel. Since I answered your question, tell me what I am, Cassie?” His fire-red eyes searched mine. I saw flames dancing in them.
The answer came to me when he let my hands go. “You’re a demon.” Fear and excitement surged through me. This was beyond seeing ghosts and auras. I understood now how I had been touched by the otherworld.
“I’m more than that, Cassie. I’m a fallen angel. We’re above the second generation Lucifer created. We used to be in the heavenly choir and then we chose to fall. You saw my wings burn away.”
“So, what’re you doing here? Why me? What do you want?” I asked. The fright in my voice was hard to hide, but the desire in my body was building from his presence. Whatever Daniel was doing stoked my passion, and I bet he wasn’t even trying. Maybe it was an inherent trait in all demons.
“Why, I’ve come to corrupt you.” His playful smile turned serious, and the allure I felt vanished in a blaze of heat.
CHAPTER THREE
The sun had broken out, filling the sky with its brilliance and beating back the night. I shivered even in my cloak. Even though the light should have driven away my fears, they remained. The sun climbed high in the sky and the breeze kicked up some, sending bits of leaves and grass across my face. The temperature had inched up some, but I still needed my cloak to keep me warm. The sun did little to penetrate the chill of the day. My eyes were closed against the glare. I thought back on my first meeting with Daniel. I should have turned and run the moment he sat in the chair across from me. You would think I was terrified that I would lose my soul to him, since he was a demon and all. However, that wasn’t the point which terrified me about him. From his first kiss, I was his. His lips were a brand, marking my soul.
Since then, we’ve ventured into further realms of debauchery, but it doesn’t matter. Daniel made it quite clear he wanted me no matter what. I sighed and opened my eyes to stare into the golden disk riding the sky. Squinting from the glare, I wondered if it was a reflection off the back of angelic wings. The spirits of this place had retreated back to the void they lingered in while the day greeted the land. It made the atmosphere less pressing, and their weight from my mind vanishes as they leave me open to feeling the life around me.
Since my accident, my powers have grown to seeing more than lost and wandering ghosts. I can sense human emotion, have the occasional prophetic dream, and have some influence over mortal thoughts. It was quite a strange experience, realizing I can control people to some degree. I can whisper in their ears, planting a suggestion in their minds, and they follow through with it. I realized now this was exactly what the angels and demons did. It scares me to think I have a touch of their power. It was one of the reasons they told me to choose between the two of them.
Sitting up, I looked around at the world, marveling at its beauty. The frost had melted from the frozen grass and even the dilapidated church appeared to be new in the morning light. It was an illusion caused by the sun, but it was nice to think parishioners used to go there and worship. I’ve been inside the church before, exploring. It’s simple and elegant. The front doors opened to ten rows of hand-carved, wooden pews. Each one had been polished until it gleamed. The blue velvet cushions on the benches were now holey and moth-eaten, but still were a decadence in the unadorned house of worship. A simple pedestal where the minister preached stood at the back. Spotlights of sunshine illuminated it at certain parts of the day through the holes in the roof. Behind the minister was a large wooden cross, still attached to the wall. One of these days, it will fall in. Maybe when the tree poking its branches through the knocked out stained glass window gets old enough and sneaks behind the bolts and pushes it off. It will be a long time yet, because the bolts aren’t even rusted through.
I’ve stood before the cross, imagining what it is the celestial wants with me. How do I make a difference in the grand design? Is it so important? Then again, those are some of the age-old questions posed to God or the universe. No matter that I presented my feelings; the only things to answer me were the scurrying of mice and skittering of squirrels. They were the only congregation the church had now, save the birds who had nested in the eaves. I had run my hands over the pulpit, trying to envision a world where all humanity knew about the unseen walking beside us. I doubt it would go over well. It was better for mankind to remain in the dark about a lot of things. If not, they would try to twist it to their own advantage. I’d love to see them try to capture a demon or imprison an angel. It could never be. It wasn’t meant to be, just as I had determined I wasn’t meant to be. I was an anomaly, and to this day, I was never certain why I had been touched.
I got up and stretched. When I did, I saw the caretaker planting flowers by a small slate marker. The name was so worn I couldn't see who was buried there. Only the little lamb etched into rock to show it was a child. The scene was surreal, considering there was nothing left under the tombstone except dust and maybe a few bones. After a couple of centuries the body had been reclaimed by the earth. I wondered if mine will be. Will I get a burial? My sister didn’t.
I smiled, thinking of Stephanie. My sister had joined the Army and after she was called up for active duty, still pretty green from boot camp, she was shipped off. I had tried to call and warn her. I emailed her, ran up our phone bill talking to her comrades, but was never able to get to her. I told her to be careful. I had dreamed about her demise, every gory detail of it.
It was in the middle of the day. The sun beat down on the desert, baking the sand to rock and those in it to a crisp. Stephanie loved her detail, but while they were driving to their current assignment, my sister stopped. I don’t know if she sensed something, but in a split moment of infinity, she knew something was wrong. Then boom. The convoy had hit a roadside bomb. I saw my sister split apart into a million pieces. Her screams as her soul was ripped out echoed through me along with the pain of those four soldiers who had also died. I woke up screaming, realizing then it was a death omen, and I could predict the future to a degree. Stephanie died three days later, just the way I described. The telegram reached my mom, and I wasn’t surprised. They attended the services and I came here. I didn’t need to be bothered by the wails of the dead when I had to lament my own. That was last year.
It was then I discovered I was not only being observed by a demon, but by an angel, too. The day seems so long ago. The time seems so long ago when Stephanie was dating Eric, and I was going to be captain of the cheerleading squad. A perky Goth being courted by a demon and having her soul cleaved apart by the death of her best friend. It was all I needed when I thought Daniel had come calling again. Her death still affected me. I wanted to hear her laugh and see her smile when I came home or knocked on the door to her room.
A tear slid down my cheek from the pain of her passing. It still makes me cry. I wiped it away absently. I watched the caretaker finish planting his flowers. They were purple pansies. This is the only grave save the one I lay on which has any adornments on it. The tombstone I sat next to I presume was one of the old family members of the church and wished to be buried near loved ones, but I was not sure. The grave marker was blank and had not yet been carved. Others would find it odd, but in this place I did not. Sometimes what is odd and strange is normal to me. This place was off the beaten path and yet I was led to it. Why not others?
The caretaker rose on arthritic knees, his joints snapping like stale pretzel sticks. He brushed the dirt from his stained pants and bowed his head in grave countenance over the child’s grave. His mourning was sincere. He turned and met my eye. I smiled and saw him nod in my direction, acknowledging I was here. I assumed it made him happy to know someone else remembered this place. Not all of it will fade into time and the forest. So many found cemeteries places of profound sadness, and yet, they filled me with joy. Maybe because they are peaceful or maybe because they eased my own fears. The caretaker turned to head back to wherever it is he goes. I sighed and stared back into the woods. For a split second, everything was frozen. The bird atop the tombstone next to me was stock-still, a living statue. His dark, glossy eyes peered at the ground while he scoured it for a mite or a worm. His brown feathers were partially ruffled. His left wing was askew like it had been broken. I spied a squirrel in mid-jump leaping from the tree to the earth. His tail acted like a rudder to direct him where he was going. My lips came into a smile at the frozen wildlife. It was not the normal psychic or mortal, for that matter, who got to witness such an amazing sight. I’ve beheld it before and yet the phantasmagoria of it never ceases to amaze me.
As the universe parted, I watched the bird blink and the squirrel land as if nothing had paused them. The display on holy ground only means one thing.
It could only be Tristan.
I didn’t bother to look over. I knew how he appeared. His red hair was wound into a long braid. His skin was tan, and his eyes a shade so dark I wasn’t sure if I could pull myself from them. Unlike Daniel, his wings were ivory white and threaded with feathers of iridescent blue. He sat cross-legged on the tomb next to me. Flowers started to grow from the dead earth when he waved his hand over the land. I watched them dance as he moved his fingers like he was conducting an orchestra. I smiled. He had always been one for the dramatic. It was how I had first met him.
CHAPTER FOUR
A week or so after meeting my demon suitor, I found myself in another strange situation. After my luscious foray into the heaps of pillows with Daniel, I had been pondering his appearance. He had not mentioned to me what he wanted except to say he wanted to corrupt me. What did he mean? If he wanted my soul, then I was sure he easily could have taken it if he wanted. He had power in just a whisper of his tongue. I might not have known exactly what my powers were or his, but I knew not to underestimate him. His aura was magnetic, ensuring lust with just a touch of his tarnished halo. And he had done nothing to me except kiss me. Even that gesture was chaste compared to what I was sure he was used to. Daniel would make a great incubus. He was suave, seductive, and sexy. I blushed just thinking about him. No human boys in my school were half as breathtaking. My fingers brushed my lips where he had tasted me. I yearned to do so much more with him, but he had deposited me back in my bed with him still on top of me, and with a parting kiss and a little bow, he was gone. Just vanished. Part of me had expected a cloud of smoke or a column of fire, but neither happened. The only thing he did was to deliver my bag and Chemistry book, making them appear on my bed next to me. It had made me laugh, but I realized he was also being sincere, if that were possible for a demon.
Mom had me outside, trying to get some sun. Ever since the crash she wanted to spend more time with me. She thought I had a death curse over me. I had become the favorite child. Not that I wasn’t before, but she had begun paying me more attention hoping, unlike my sister, I would go to college. Maybe she thought something in her shortcomings as a parent had made Stephanie join the Army and skip college. She hoped I would not follow in my sister’s footsteps. I reassured my mother it was not going to happen. If I could barely stand to go to school, then how was I going to deal with being with a bunch of jocks and control freaks who told me when to spit? It wasn’t a life for me. So I humored her, got up and went to school, got good grades, and played the dutiful daughter. I might have had my life change drastically because of the accident, but I didn’t let on to my mother. She wouldn’t understand. Half of the time, I didn’t understand. It was bad enough when I had woken up from the accident. Mom had wondered where I had gotten the tattoo. There was no explanation, but strangely, she had not ranted and raved about it. She just accepted it, or overlooked it. Others commented on it at school, but like my parents, they never said anything negative about it. Again, it was just another way to show I had been branded by the other world, and I was beginning to understand what it truly meant now that I had met Daniel.
For now, my mother wanted me to think about going to some colleges not too far away. So I thumbed through the brochures, but I had no idea what I was really going to be doing. Crowds bothered me. I was not sure I could manage the pressing thoughts and emotions of living in a dorm. Maybe put it off for a year and travel so I could get a sense of the world. I had money saved up from working as a tutor and babysitter. Plus, I had the money my grandparents had given me. It was still a few months off, even though I had submitted my applications to ten different schools around the country. Mom wanted me close. Flipping through the catalogue, I noticed a cute boy leaning against a tree enjoying student life. His eyes met mine and I got a cold chill down my back. It seemed he gazed into my soul.
It’s not possible, I thought. I’m just seeing things. I threw the book down and grabbed another one. On the cover was the same boy, except he now had an open book in his hands. He stared straight at me. Okay, maybe he’s some kind of a cover model for the college catalogues. You never know and it could be a coincidence.
Thumbing through the rest of the book, I noticed he was on another couple of pages. I sighed and shook my head, thinking Daniel’s appearance was getting to me and I was now seeing handsome demons in everything I looked at. I plucked a third one from the stack and this time he was on the third page, wearing the same black shirt and jeans, ogling me. He sat in a group of other students who were talking about something. I was about to shut the book on him again when I saw him lift his head. Another chill captured my heart. My eyes grew wide and fear pulsed in my soul. This was not possible.
It’s more than possible. It’s what’s happening to you right now. I heard a voice in my mind. There was a heaviness on my thoughts when he spoke. It made me a little dizzy, and I had to shake my head to be sure I was really hearing things.
“Hello?” I asked. My eyes searched my mother’s garden. The only things which answered me were in full bloom now that summer was almost here. The perfumes were almost as dizzying as the pressure I had experienced in my mind. Flowers and mimosa trees made the garden into a virtual paradise.
“Don’t look for me with your eyes. You have other senses to rely on now, don’t you?”
I sighed. “Who are you?”
“You’ll know that when you do what I ask.”
“And why should I?” I asked the empty garden.
“Please, Cassie.” A feeling of divine peace washed over me. It was slightly cold and refreshing, flushing my system of any thought or imprint of Daniel. I swallowed. My eyes fluttered shut, and I let it fill me. This being was different than Daniel. If he asked me again it would break my heart because his intentions were so pure. So I stretched out my mind and felt with my thoughts. I’d found it similar to that of a butterfly using its antenna or how a dolphin used sonar. With my newfound power, I could get a clear picture of my surroundings along with the auras of all the life around me. It blared, so I had to turn it down like a radio until I could see it all in the dark. I was still getting used to my abilities, but when I scanned the garden, I saw him. Even with toning down my power, his aura was like a spotlight in the sun. Right away I knew he was not of this world. Of course, him jumping from catalogue to catalogue gave it away. Even looking at him in my mind while he stood under the mimosa, I could tell he was beautiful.
“Very good.”
I got up and opened my eyes. When I got to the mimosa, he sat in the trunk, which had a natural shaped seat in it. Stephanie and I used to fight over it when I was a girl. She normally won. It appeared he jumped down, landing on his tiptoes, balancing easily. I felt a puff of wind.
“Hello, Cassie.” He had a tone almost like wind chimes as it moved into my ears. His hair was unbound and fell around his shoulders in fathoms of red waves. His skin was so tan he could have lived in the sun, but there was no blemish on him. His eyes were perilous and I was not sure if I could pull myself away from his gaze. My heart fluttered in my chest. There was no way to really put how he looked. He was delicate and yet the pillar of strength. He was beautiful and the beauty was almost horrible to keep my eyes on. I felt I was committing a sin. He stepped forward and ran his hand along my cheek. His touch was soft, like the velvet tip of a pussy willow. It was hard to keep from moaning. He drove any last trace of Daniel out of my mind and my body. It seemed almost blasphemous to think about the demon with this being here.
“What are you?” I couldn’t help but sink my cheek along the curve of his palm. The sense of peace intensified when I looked into his dark eyes. Even while I stared at him, I could see the intensity of his aura. It was so bright I still had to squint. He seemed to get the idea and the light dimmed. I laughed. Jubilation overcame the peace, and I got the idea he was not used to touching humans. Maybe watching and observing them, but not interacting as he was with me.
“I’m not what you think I am. I’m not a demon. I’m something else. Can’t you tell?” His voice was soft, barely a whisper, but the tone of it reverberated through my body.
I did know what he was, and it was not a demon. He was lighter, something from a different realm. Tears came to my eyes when I realized his true nature. It was divine, and he was gracing me with his presence. In that split second, I understood most mortals did not get to see the true nature of an angel. They would see his halo or hear a disembodied voice or maybe a warm hand guiding them. I was seeing exactly how the being appeared.
“You’re an angel,” I whispered.
He smiled. “Yes. I am. I’m a step below the archangels and a step above the choir. I’m a seraph.”
“What are you doing here?”
He reached down and took my fingers, intertwining them with his. His power burst through me and merged with mine. A dam had broken inside of me and the cold power of the cosmos ate away at me in a mystical storm of overwhelming sensation. A mixture of fire and ice. It seemed I was ablaze and yet doused in frigid water. His skin felt soft in mine, like a newborn babe's, and I was moved to feel how warm it was. His nails were a little sharp and clear. They were almost too bright with perfectly white tips. He brought his hand up and kissed the inside of my palm. When he did, his eyes never left mine.
“You never answered my qu-question,” I murmured. I felt myself shivering from the mixing of our powers. It seemed with this show of his power, he was trying to distract me. The imprint of his lips burned themselves into my palm. His aura brushed against mine. It crackled and everything seemed brighter, more alive. With his free hand, he moved a piece of hair away from my face, which had fallen into my eyes with the breeze blowing into the garden. Everything around me smelled fresher. My senses were more alive, more powerful, and I knew he was doing it or it was because of him. I doubted it was something which would have long-term effects.
“Do I really have to answer your question, Cassie? And yes, it will have lasting effects on your gifts. Whenever anyone is touched by an angel, they always have permanent effects. It is the same when a demon puts their brand on a mortal as well.”
“So am I a guinea pig between you and Daniel? Is there some divine plan for me?” I wondered.
He chuckled. He trailed his finger town my cheek and along the expanse of my neck. It seemed he was becoming more familiar and at ease with being around humans or only touching them. Or maybe it was just me, but I was not sure. It was a little disconcerting to know he could read my thoughts, but then again, Daniel had been able to, so I assumed this being could too. I closed my eyes. My heart trembled in my chest at the thought of the divine entity. He was perfection just as the demon was. Each had been carved from the stuff of dreams, and was as old as the universe itself. They were ageless and yet seemed so young.
“I can’t tell you the plan for your life. You have free will. Every mortal does, no matter if they’re visited by celestial beings or not. You are more beautiful to me than the small, furry rodent you refer to. So much more than you know.” His voice had fallen to a whisper, and his eyes were studying me. I sensed his power taking me in, trying to absorb or break down what I was a part of, monitoring my thoughts and feelings, and yet he was right on both accounts. He could not tell me the outcome of my life. I had to discover it for myself, and he did find me beautiful, irresistible. It was very strange to get that sense of him, but with his power wrapped around mine, it was also very easy. I stepped a little closer, bridging the distance between us so our auras merged more. Only inches apart, an overwhelming sense of lust enveloped me.
I wanted to kiss him. I desired to know if his lips felt like his hands, baby soft. I needed him to hold me and take away the ache in my heart starting to form because he would not wrap his arms around me. My need for him grew, and I wondered if it was because I had been influenced by the demon and maybe it was now my lot in life to attract angels and then corrupt them. Somehow, I thought it was funny. I was now some kind of Venus fly trap in search of angels to prey upon. And yet, when I gazed into the angel’s dark eyes, I needed to be sure I would not fall under his spell because my heart was already lost. I never believed in love at first sight until I met Daniel. It was easy to blame it on him being a demon and he had put a spell on me, but it was not the case; likewise not in this situation. Love was not an issue with this one. I had already fallen for the angel. My soul recognized him to be my kin, and yet, he was so beautiful I never wanted to look away, and I yearned for him to crush me to his chest and make love to me. Was I being selfish?
“So, I guess this whole mysterious thing, appearing out of nowhere, not telling me your name or why you’re here is a trademark and goes with the entire angel gig? Is it against the rules to kiss a girl, too?”
He seemed taken aback at the last comment; I felt his power recede from mine. His aura washed away, and I was left empty and unfulfilled. His hand dropped from my cheek, and he was about to back away when I made a split-second decision. I wrapped my hand around his neck and pulled him into me. My lips met his. They were softer than his hands. Desire burned alive in me and with a conscious effort, I wrapped it around him like he had intertwined his aura with mine. I followed the same paths he had carved into my energy. I sensed the spaces where he had originally been and filled them with my own power and emotion. His fingers left mine and both of his hands cupped my ass. They squeezed it hard and before I knew it, I was pressed up against something solid.
His nails broke the fabric of my jeans and my flesh. His lips were hungry on mine. The angel had lifted me up so I felt the hardness of his cock pressing against my crotch. I was a little surprised; I had assumed angels were not anatomically correct. Daniel, being a demon, I could understand, but hey, I guess I was wrong. My legs wrapped around his waist. His teeth caught my bottom lip and bit on it gently. My head fell back. He kissed and suckled my flesh. No matter what he did to me, it was not enough. I needed more of him.
I wove my fingers into his silken hair, pulling some of the strands free of the braid—smooth and soft, waiting for adept hands to plait it and play with it. The angel’s tongue licked its way down to the dip in my valley of my breasts. Before I knew it, his mouth was biting my nipple and I was topless. My groan of anticipation betrayed how much I yearned for him to take me. The intensity of the wanting was more than it had been with Daniel, and I still had no idea what his name was. He licked my tits and couldn’t get enough. He nipped and suckled like a man who had not eaten anything for weeks, but I didn’t care because I was lost to the sensation working through me.
The desire in me was building. His power had woven together with mine again. I shared his feelings, and he shared mine. The mirroring and blurring of our emotions throttled me toward orgasm and all of it was foreplay.
If he could, if he would only bury himself into me, how would it feel? I wondered. I imagined my eyes rolling around like marbles in my head from the sensations he would give me. My eyes were closed and the sounds escaping my lips were animalistic at this point. I wondered if my mother heard it or if we were in some kind of vacuum. I had no sense of time or reality, just that I was with him and desperately needed him buried inside of me.
“Please. I need you. Please,” I finally managed in a complete and legible sentence. I balanced on the edge of madness and release. His tongue worked magic on my flesh and felt a little coarse. He looked up from my breasts and stared into my eyes. His mouth locked on mine and I let one hand slide down to touch his engorged cock. He shuddered and let his eyes roll back. Suddenly, something happened. I was not sure what it was, but something in him shut off. He went cold. He let me go, and we appeared back in the world. I now stood back under the mimosa tree and he was invisible again. Disappointment and aggravation fired through me. It was so not right for him to leave me hanging the way he did. My insides were still quaking from the encounter, and I had to grab onto a tree limb to keep myself from falling over. If I hadn’t been outside, I would have spread my legs and finished myself off, even though it would have been an unsatisfying finale. Even now I tried to steady my hands. I remained on the verge of fulfillment and ecstasy.
“What was that all about?” I asked. He was still there; I could sense him, and he was panicking. Nothing like this had ever happened to him before.
“We are not allowed to couple with mortals. It is against our laws.”
“So you do this often to a girl? Get hot and heavy and then leave her on the edge of madness. That is so not cool! Whatever your name is, I’m not into it. If you wanted to mess with me, you could have done it some other way!”
“My name is Tristan. I am truly sorry for hurting your feelings, Cassie. It was not my intention. I went further than I had anticipated. Forgive me. Until we meet again.”
“Hey!” I yelled. It was too late. He had already gone. There was a change in the atmosphere. It was lighter and less dense. I screamed in frustration and was only answered with a shower of feather flowers falling from the mimosa tree.
CHAPTER FIVE
“Are you running from yourself? Or are you seeking sanctuary?”
I didn’t bother to look over. “I’m not running. I just wanted a little bit of peace. I can’t get that these days. Both of you keep hounding me. At least the dead aren’t fighting over my soul,” I growled.