Naughty but Nice
a
poetry collection
by
Luigi Pagano
Smashwords edition
ISBN 978-1-4523-5168-1
All Rights Reserved
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, by photocopying or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage or retrieval systems, without permission in writing from both the copyright owner and the publisher of this book.
Life
with the Dinosaurs
I can’t exchange my parents
and that’s my rotten luck.
They embarrass me no end,
kissing and cuddling. Yuk!
Both are very ancient -
they’re approaching forty -
surely it is not natural
for them to be so flirty.
I think my Ma is religious
but I find it most odd
when, at night, she cries:
‘Oh yes, oh yes…oh God!’
My Pa must be a geologist,
but that I cannot prove,
he often says to mother:
‘By Jove! The earth DID move.’
Situation Vacant
She always wore
high heels and fishnet stockings
but I never imagined
that she was a whore.
(She was arrested
for soliciting, I gather.)
I believed that she was
the recruiting officer
for some Church or another
who was making
an employment proposition
when she asked if I wanted
the missionary position.
I Saw Mummy in Santa’s Claws
Last year I saw Mummy kissing Santa Claus
under the mistletoe, standing on tiptoes
but this year it was he who kissed my mum
and I found that episode rather rum.
He seemed to have become a bit too chummy
as he put his fat belly on mummy’s tummy.
He must have known that dad was in Ostend
and likely to stay there for the weekend.
He wrongly thought that I was fast asleep
when he and my mother fell over in a heap.