Brendella
Collected Stories Volume One
by Thomas Yonge
Copyright 2011 Thomas Yonge
Smashwords Edition
Cover Design by Thomas Yonge
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Other Stories by Thomas Yonge available at Smashwords
Contents
Brendella and the Horny Goblins
Brendella and the Trouble With Crystal Balls
Brendella in the Backwoods Peepshow
Brendella vs. the Tentacle Monster
Brendella and the Overfriendly Enchantress
Brendella
Collected Stories
Volume One
by Thomas Yonge
Brendella and the Horny Goblins
"You must be joking!"
"I'm dead serious," the innkeeper insisted. "The road north through Oak Forest ain't safe for a woman out by herself."
Brendella snickered. "I'm no ordinary woman," she assured the man.
Grabbing her mug of ale, the warrior turned and located a small table, set against the far wall. She crossed the common room, and seated herself.
A short while later, a handsome, bearded man approached her table. His face was chiseled and hard, his red hair striking. The muscles of his bared arms rippled as he indicated the chair across from her.
"May I sit?" he asked.
She flashed him a smile. "Please do."
"My name is Geoffrey," he told her, as he sat. Brendella introduced herself and they exchanged pleasantries.
"I couldn't help overhearing you and the barkeep talking." Geoffrey leaned towards her. "You should not take what he tells you lightly."
"Then you heard me when I told him — I am no ordinary woman. I've carried a sword and traveled up and down this entire continent. I fear nothing."
"Indeed," Geoffrey replied, "and I do not doubt that this is so. Nevertheless, the dangers of the north road are real."
"You would do well," Brendella warned, "to keep your nose in your own affairs."
"Very well, m'lady. I would just hate to see a woman such as yourself fall victim to those nasty goblins."
"Goblins?" asked Brendella, perking up. She enjoyed killing goblins.
Geoffrey nodded. "Indeed. A particularly nasty group of the buggers. They have taken to assaulting lone female travelers, sometimes even pairs, along the north road."
Brendella snorted. "Goblins? You expect me to be frightened of goblins? Little green creatures, no taller than a child?"
"These goblins," Geoffrey continued, "are not like others. They're violent, devious, and …"
"What?" Brendella prompted.
Geoffrey leaned close, lowered his voice. "They seem to be enamored of human women. And very horny."
Brendella's eyes widened. This was nonsense!
"It's true," he insisted. "They strip the women whom they attack completely naked! They have gone so far as to grope and slobber all over their poor, nude victims' bodies. Many women have come back this way in tears, panicked and stripped of all their clothing."
Brendella stared at the man for some time. His story was outrageous, but he seemed truthful enough.
Fine, she decided. She took a long drink of ale, slammed her mug down.
"Then, I, Brendella, Warrior of the Sands, shall ride to the forest and vanquish this pitiful band of goblins, making the road north safe once more."
She pushed her chair back from the table, and stood.
Geoffrey looked up at her. "Let me accompany you, m'lady. I'll lend you my swordarm. It will be safer."
Brendella snickered. "I need no man's help. I will go alone and eliminate the goblin threat."
She turned on her heel and strode to the door. Horny goblins who ambush and strip human women? Well, these goblins were in for a rude surprise. Brendella was no ordinary woman! They would meet their end on the warrior-woman's blade.
* * * * *
Brendella reined in her horse. With her right hand she reached back and pulled her sword free of its sheath. She patted the animal's neck with her left. "Easy, girl," she said.
She climbed from the saddle, scanning the trees for the source of the strange sound. She held her sword with both hands, tensing. Was it the goblins?
Behind her, there was long whistle. She spun around. It was the same sound she had heard a moment earlier. An instant later, there came a second whistle, from somewhere to her left. Then, a third.
They were all around! She backed up into the middle of the road, twisting her head, trying to find the source of the whistling.
Was that movement? She spun one way, then the other.
More whistles, and then a chilling, echoing sound like mocking laughter. It seemed to come from the very forest itself.
Suddenly, a pair of goblins appeared from the brush in front of her. The filthy little things grinned, showing mouths full of broken and missing teeth.
"Preeety lady," said one of them.
His companion giggled. "Yummy yummy."
She turned to face them, her sword held menacingly. That slowed them down. They shared a look between them, and then turned back to Brendella, still grinning.
"You stay back, monsters," she called out. "You stay back or you shall regret it."
They stopped their approach. One of them let out another giggle.
Was it just these two? Weren't they afraid of her?
Too late, she realized that she had given too much attention to this pair. A gentle whooshing sound was the only warning she had, then a heavy net dropped onto her from above. From behind her, two more of the little creeps appeared.
As she struggled with the netting, these two tackled her to the ground. The force of the impact knocking the sword from her hands. It skittered away, tangled in the net and out of reach.
She sought to fight the goblins off, but quickly the first pair joined the two already assaulting her.
Before she knew what had happened, she was immobilized. The crude net which they had used to capture her was removed, but not before her wrists were bound behind her, and her ankles were tied together. Four sets of goblins hands scrubbed over her body. The knife on her belt and the small blade in her boot were both found and taken from her.
Within moments, she lay bound in the road — weaponless and at the mercy of her diminutive captors.
The little monsters then heaped further humiliations upon her.
They stuffed a filthy, foul-tasting rag into her mouth. This was secured with a short length of rope. Now, as she tried to curse these vermin, the gag muffled her cries.
Next, they tossed her sideways over her own horse, her bottom sticking up in the air. Helpless and embarrassed to be in such a vulnerable position, Brendella moaned into the gag.
As they led her horse from the road and into the woods, she looked around her. She must keep her wits! There were now five of them, whom she could see. Somehow, she must turn the tables on the little bastards and escape.
For several minutes they progressed deeper into the forest.
Soon, they reached a clearing where the goblins appeared to have a makeshift camp. Here, they halted their march and gathered around her. Working together, the short creatures pulled her down from the saddle and dumped her onto the ground. One of the goblins slapped her horse on the rear. The animal whinnied and trotted off through the trees, leaving her alone with the goblins.
Now, the eyes of her captors turned fully upon her. Brendella struggled into a sitting position.
"We like you, preeety lady," one of them said.
"Yummy yummy," said another.
They muttered amongst themselves in their own primitive language, occasionally gesturing towards her. She dreaded to know what they were planning.
After a moment, there seemed to be some sort of consensus reached. One of the creatures stepped forward, brandishing what had once been her knife.
She tried to back away, pushing herself along the ground with her legs, but the creature had no trouble catching her. A couple of the others eagerly jumped forward to offer their assistance.
They turned her over onto her stomach. The one with the knife leaned in close. At first, she almost thought he was going to slice her throat. Instead, he brought the knife to her shoulder, and began to saw through one of the straps holding her cuirass in place.
Her frantic protestations to this action were muffled by the gag in her mouth.
Cutting feverishly, the goblin sliced through one strap, and then the other. The blade moved down to her side where, rather than deal with the belts and ties holding her armor together, the appalling beast just sliced right through them!
More conversation passed between her captors. A moment later, she was rolled onto her back, her bound arms pinned beneath her.
Now she could see everything this goblin was doing. Eyes wide, she watched him take the knife to her belt, cutting through it. He pulled it free and handed it back to one of his buddies. The drawstrings on her leather leggings were next.
Two of the other goblins joined him on the ground. They each grabbed one of her legs. The goblin with the knife leaned forward and cut the binds from her ankles. She tried to kick out with her legs, but the little bastards were stronger than they appeared. With all the leverage, they easily held her down.
The one with the knife handed away the blade to another of the goblins, then moved towards her feet. As the others began to chatter and giggle, he first pulled off her left boot, then the right.
Feeling the air on her now bare feet made her very conscious of what was in store for her if she didn't get away from these little cretins soon. A whole lot more of her would soon be bared to the evening air!